So the date went tits up!

[wildwest]

I posted about him not texting me much since asking me out last Sunday - dinner date arranged for last night. Got a text wed saying he didn't want to be too stalkerish but were we still on for Friday? Then last night he text at six saying 'not too late to back out!'. Then 6.40 he said he was stuck in Friday traffic in Stafford and could we poss meet later - around 10. He was really sorry - he had been helping a mate stupidly and he did want to see me. I said seeing as I was ready (I only saw it at 7.30) then yes. Just before nine my friends text to say they were in the bar/restaurant my date and I were supposed to be going to. I text to say I'm not even out yet only meeting date at ten and they said come for a quick one with us. So I did. No sooner was I there he text and said I can meet you at 9.30!? So I said come meet me at Botanist - I've come for a quick drink with friends who aren't out long and we can move on from there. He text back to say he couldn't do that - have a good night with my friends!?! We text for a bit to and fro with him saying he didn't want to spoil my night and me saying but I want to see you - I'm not planning an all nighter with them! He then said please could he have another chance to see me!??? Totally. Weird.

Reading some of the answers he can't win. He is being accused of allowing her to do all the heavy work of arranging the next date but if he'd been pushing for next weekend and she didn't have a baby sitter he would be accused of not realising her children come first. And I say this as someone who dated fairly recently and very ruthlessly. Very few dates made it to a second date.

I think he fucked up helping the friend and getting caught in manic traffic then panicked when she was out with friends. He maybe should have said meet for coffee but can't so Saturday I'm meeting my dd but it wasn't crime of the century either. He met the next day on time and apologised.
I do agree with piper though I'm not really sure why people can't just say this is what's in my head, this is what I'm looking for. It would save so much time and angst.

whatthefucknow

How on earth is....

He asked me at the end of the date if he could take me out again which was nice. I said I'd have to see about getting a babysitter and he said that was fine, let him know when I'm free

...doing the heavy work, organising & planning the next date?

All she has to do is book a babysitter for her kids and let him know when she's free>!?

Ring your babysitter: are you free to babysit Friday? Yes. Ok
Text him: I can get babysitter Friday.
Him: oh I've got my kids Friday
Ring babysitter: are you free sat? Yes.
Text him: what about sat?
Him: ok. Where?
Figure out where he would like to go.
Text: what about restaurant we were supposed to go to last week?
Him: ok
Book restaurant for 8pm
Text him: have booked for 8
Him: oh I won't be able to get there til 8:30
Change booking
Text him: changed booking see u there
Him: ----radio silence til next sat when he texts at 6:30 are we still on then?
Etc etc

I'm glad so any people seem to find it works to be simply upfront and straightforward: would you like to go out with me? Why yes I would.
All I can say is that you have been a lot luckier than me

sorry but you clearly are over thinking this. Absolutely none of this has happened yet and you came up with that whole speech? And sorry in my world you check which nights he's free then see if you can get a baby sitter. You don't unilaterally plan and book everything then tell him. Poor guy is on a hiding to nothing then. He couldn't win.

Nobody said relationships proceed faultlessly but I also don't get the need for all this angst over the fact he hadn't text yet ( the day he had just seen her) and setting him up to fail. Last time I looked at the label in my pants they said I was a grown up so I try and behave that way and communicate how I feel about something with the person making me feel that way. I don't make up a conversation in my head and set someone up to fail no matter what they do.

Erm - I didn't make up a conversation in my head?? That was another poster?

I text the babysitter - I'm waiting to hear if she can do Thurs or Sunday (I'm out with friends for dinner wed, fri I'm cooking for a friend, Sat I have 8 pre-teens descending on me!) I don't actually have a lot of time this week and in any event I'm feeling non stressed about the whole thing.

No sorry that was to whatthefuck who had made up an entire conversation.
Don't let yourself get stressed about it. If you have a busy week and you can't manage then if he's a nice guy he will understand. If he's an arsehole that thinks your life should revolve around a date with him then you're better off out of it.
Good luck