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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH & sex with other women

77 replies

bobs · 09/04/2004 00:33

DH has just stated that given the opportunity, any husband would sleep with another woman if handed it on a plate "it's just a man thing" in his words!
I'm canvassing opinions on this as I don't believe him - wishful thinking/hoping perhaps on his part??

OP posts:
saintshar · 09/04/2004 00:34

My DH says he wouldn't, but then again, he wouldn't say he would, would he??!!

littlemissbossy · 09/04/2004 00:36

my DH is snoring loudly on the sofa ... so at least there's no chance of him sleeping with another, or any, woman for that matter!

gothicmama · 09/04/2004 07:05

My says no he would feel flattered but would refuse because too much to lose if I found out

emmatmg · 09/04/2004 08:18

Dh says 'No he wouldn't, too much to lose'. He said it's down to personal opinion, some would some wouldn't.

kiwisbird · 09/04/2004 08:31

mine says no way not ever. he doesn't want to i am very secure he is very very loyal and faithful, but cheeky and gorgeous with it

bossykate · 09/04/2004 09:00

i bet that made you feel fantastic, bobs.

eddm · 09/04/2004 09:11

Can't he come up with a more convincing excuse than 'it's a man thing'?
Maybe you should work out some 'woman things' that would upset him if you put them into practice and see how he feels then. Not feeling very inspired but for instance: 'Oh, darling, I spent the money for your Arsenal season ticket on a week at the Sanctuary - it's a woman thing'.

StuartC · 09/04/2004 09:24

IME a great many men would.
Once the blood starts pumping it's very hard to ignore.
It is, after all, natural.
There have been times (many years ago) when I've accepted the invitation.
There have been fewer times when common sense and committment have prevailed.
Nowadays I try to avoid situations where there is likely to be temptation.
Is that maturity or old age?

GeorginaA · 09/04/2004 10:17

dh reckons the odds are on that your dh is right, bobs, in that he thinks most affairs are by men rather than women. The concept of "no strings attached" sex is more prevalent in men because they separate sex from emotions more.

Hmm... glares at dh

I asked him if he would and he just grinned and said "dunno, no-one likes me enough... probably not". He does say though that the original premise was wrong, most women do not hand it over on a plate, and if they did he would be too suspicious of the woman's ulterior motive!

motherinferior · 09/04/2004 11:11

I seriously don't think my dp would. I do ask him quite often.

For one thing, given the chance at for instance a conference, he would MUCH prefer a good night's sleep at the moment

Why's taking up the offer of a shag just a 'man thing'?

GrannyPants · 09/04/2004 11:18

Dh's response:

"Urrgh no! If she's offering it to me, who else has she offered it to??? Dunno what you might catch!"

I was hoping for something more along the lines of "No, darling. You're the only one I want" but I suppose it'll have to do.

oxocube · 09/04/2004 12:00

eddm

bloss · 09/04/2004 13:45

Message withdrawn

lou33 · 09/04/2004 13:55

Dh says if he wasn't married then yes, but otherwise no, assuming it isn't Monica Bellucci who is offering it up, then it would be exceptional circumstances

He says anything offered on a plate is probably past it's sell by date.

But he is standing within about 6 inches of me....

aloha · 09/04/2004 14:55

My dh says no. And I believe him. And he loves me.

JJ · 09/04/2004 15:30

My husband's response "Someone seems confused about what it means to be a man. Sounds like more of a boy thing."

StuartC · 09/04/2004 16:49

There are some wonderful husbands/partners about.
They always give the "right" answer.

One question to all the ladies who were given the "right" answer - what would have happened if your dh/dp had given the "wrong" answer?

sobernow · 09/04/2004 17:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WideWebWitch · 09/04/2004 17:16

Well this is an interesting one because I've always maintained that it's true too. If a good looking woman offers a man sex on a plate and he doesn't think he'll get caught he'll go for it a lot of the time. Not always, true. It certainly was mosty true though when I was a young slapper and was the one doing the offering. Sorry, but it was. I love my dp and he swears he wouldn't but still.

aloha · 09/04/2004 17:35

I don't know why it's so unbelieveable, StuartC - I wouldn't be unfaithful either, even if it 'was on a plate' which actually wouldn't be so impossible! My dh doesn't like going away without me so he doesn't do it, though he has plenty of opportunities to go to glamorous places and I don't stop him so he's clearly not looking for extra-curricular action. His ex left him for another man, and I really believe he doesn't want to be that kind of person. Or don't you think men feel love and loyalty StuartC?

lou33 · 09/04/2004 17:44

It's not totally black and white though is it? So many factors would come into play. Age, length of relationship, state of relationship etc. I really don't think dh would stray now, in our current situation, but 10 years ago he may have been tempted had it been offered, who can say?

He says I give him everything he needs now, the old charmer.

Lisa78 · 09/04/2004 18:03

Mine wouldn't and neither would I - whats the point?

Lisa78 · 09/04/2004 18:04

DH's response to bobs DH is "Is he dead yet then?"

SenoraPostrophe · 09/04/2004 18:05

www:

From my experience I can only say it's true of young single men who don't scare easily (can't believe I'm admitting to this! )

Dp just grunted - think he was offended that I asked.

kiwisbird · 09/04/2004 18:16

When Dh was further quizzed he mentioned masturbation, as in prefer doing it with someone I know
When I raised eyebrows and asked about this and how often he said " honey you don't need to know, it's a guy thing"
I had to reply
"nu uh it ain't"

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