what constitutes verbal abuse?

[Frogisatwat]

I can recognise the usual such as 'you're thick' hopeless etc..
but what about more subtle things. . Such as putting someone down not said in anger. Examples 'you are too disorganised' 'one child can be a mistake but why did you have another one?'
You made a poor 'choice of father' for your children.
Its all really low level stuff but the result is that I have just come out of an LTR feeling if only I had been a better person he wouldn't have cheated.
I am not looking for a label or for me to come over as a victim. I have experienced far worse abuse (physical and mental) in previous relationships but it was so obvious it was easier to deal with.

I guess I am just looking to work on myself so that I don't go through it again. Thinking of buying a book about recovering from verbal abuse but wanted to garner a few opinions. Maybe what he said is sort of normal chat in relationships?

I'm doing ok. The sadness I feel over someone who doesn't deserve any of my thinking pisses me off but at least I have stopped bursting into tears every 5 mins where is your thread juggling?
Can you link it?

My search doesn't seem to work. ..

I don't have a particular thread talking about my relationship Frog, just drop the occasional thing in to other people's as I go along. Anyway hope you're doing OK this week? Thinking of you x