Is it just me, or is this quite mean?...

[Blushingm]

My mum died and it's her funeral tomorrow. We were estranged but she's still my mum.

Dh and I haven't been getting on so well recently - he got his parents involved who tried to interfere - discussed out sex life or lack of it. They say me down and grilled me about it so I'm no longer welcome over there etc

Anyway - dh has said he won't come to the funeral with me - cos he doesn't want to ask for time off at work and because we've not been getting on

I think he's being mean - regardless of things recently I would've thought he'd be able to put it aside just for one day but it seems not.

I'm just after opinions. I'm not sure if I'm being over sensitive or if he's just being mean

Thanks

Oh I'm so sorry about your mum . My dad died 4 years again and if my Dh had behaved like that it certainly would have been the end for us.

It's a difficult time so generally it's not a good idea to make big decisions, but no-one would think you were wrong (except probay his parent but hey think that's a given)

Be kind to yourself x

It sounds like you have huge issues in your marriage. That he can't/won't support you by being by your side at the funeral just about says it all. Be strong, get through the funeral and then make the first steps to get yourself out of this marriage. Hopefully you have some support from friends/other family members who can get you through this difficult time in your life.

He sounds like a twat. I dumped my ex boyfriend as he went awol when my mum died only for gim to come crawling back after the funeral. Told him to do one.
This is your HUSBAND but he is not behaving like one. Id be thinking of ways to leave. And his parents sound deranged.

Really sorry to hear about your Mum and your H's reaction, especially the lack of warmth at the funeral.

Did you spend time caring for your Mum and her needs without having any of yours met? I'm asking because your H sounds emotionally unavailable. You deserve to be loved and cherished. I really hope you find the strength to leave this relationship, can find the courage to assert your needs and, in time, someone who can love you the way you deserve to be loved. Take care.

Oh dear OP, just saw your update, and what a numpty your H was at the funeral. Does he have trouble with understanding, feeling, and showing empathy and sympathy? Is he able to understand and display empathy and sympathy in other situations? If he is able to feel and show empathy and sympathy in other situations, I would really question him as to why he wasn't more supportive of you at the funeral.

He wants out, love

I suggest you give him what he wants.

I'm so sorry to read this, blushingM.

I think previous posters are right. This isn't something that can ever be undone and it's a turning point in the relationship.

He isn't really a partner to you. Partners are there in good times and bad and even when things are bad, they pull through at the crunch times. He hasn't. He isn't much good to you.

It's one thing going through a bad patch, another that he can't even comfort you in such awful times. I'm afraid I believe that's the end as you don't deserve to be lonely. Being alone is bit the same as being lonely and much preferable to be lonely.