That moment when you accidentally run into the OW

[SassyOlaf]

Today I met the woman my husband had a month long affair with for the first time.

She was working somewhere I had to collect a delivery from. She saw my name and I'm guessing she knew who I was (I have a pretty unusual surname and I was in a lot of my husbands FB pics and they were friends on there).

I probably stared at her for a little bit too long.

A little part of me wanted to scream at her and call her all sorts of names. Realistically I know I have no beef with her, my husband did the chasing.

It was weird.

I've met her at XPs sisters wedding, pulled her to one side and told her I held nothing against her that as long as my DD liked her that was good enough for me.
She kept apologising over and over, I stopped her and said she'd done me a favour as neither of us were happy.

Strangely enough I now hear on the grapevine he's cheating on her and is violent towards her ( history repeats itself).
I quite like her and hope to god she finds the courage to leave him at some point.

About 6 months after d-day when h and I were dropping ds1 off at school at midnight to go to the States on a school trip. Already feeling wobbly about my PFB, when missy OW scuttled by with a face the colour of beetroot and I pretended I hadn't seen her. That was fun.....

Some people have no shame...

While I was walking through a supermarket with my DC's, OW (who clearly was not my friend it turns out), felt it appropriate to walk towards me with a breezy "Hello martha" with the intention of speaking to me, despite having been told not to previously

I responded with a chilly " Hello. Goodbye." and kept on walking.

Met my OW in tesco saw ugly shoes first then just knew it was 'her' she disappeared sharpish. Next time I went up to her and invited her for a cup of tea and a catch up! She didn't want any trouble hahaha Maintained dignity

I met OW the same night I had my suspicions about her existence confirmed.

His phone phoned me from his pocket, I heard their conversation about their holiday to Antigua that they were just about to go on...

So...I jumped in the car with Dd, rushed over to his place, knocked on the door and when he answered he went a little pale. Long story short, I went in to find a woman very different from what I expected.

At the least she was 9st heavier than me (I was 11st and 5'9" size 12). She had bleach blonde hair with a black inch of roots showing and shopping bags under her eyes.
I was actually looking great that evening

To be fair, she knew nothing about me or our Dd and after I'd shouted and slammed about a bit, I took her by the hand and told her I didn't blame her. No idea if they are still together as he went to work abroad, but I know they were still together at least 3 years after that night.

Many years ago the ow turned up at my house, as her dh had kicked her out on finding out about her long term affair with my dp. She arrived about 7.30am, in a sports car. She swooshed to a halt on the gravel and got out. I emerged from the feed room and stared open mouthed at her- about six foot high, long blonde hair, full make up, very well dressed. She looked me up and down and marched into the house with me trailing along behind.

Dp was white as a sheet, and said weakly " why don't I make us all a cup of tea?"
Her, staring round at my house, and plonking herself down in my dining room- " hasn't she got to go to work?"
Me " are you fucking joking?"
Dp " we are in love"
Me " what?"
Then " well, you'd better leave then. You've got 30 mins. I hope all your stuff will fit in Penelope fucking pitstops car. If it doesn't I'll burn it."

My dad married his long-term OW and they have been married, I don't know, 15-20 years (I wasn't invited to the wedding so I don't know how long.). She has 3 grown kids I have never met. I am NC with my dad but sometimes I wonder what I would say to her adult children, "Soooooooo, your mom was my dad's mistress while was married to my mother - did you know that?" hahahaha I mean really, what do you say? I wonder what they knew, if anything. I knew when it was happening.

EveDallas, your experience reminded me of my friend who went to a new hairdressers and had to sit and listen to the hairdresser talk about her fab new boyfriend who just happened to be my friends husband.

The conversation was along the lines of oh, you live in such and such a country? Really? Wow! Its a place Id never heard of till I met my boyfriend when he was back here on holiday. Maybe you know him?

I met the OW (and her H) when my exP arranged for us all to go out for a meal. She tried to forge a relationship with me. Asked me to the races, invited me on a girls holiday to Menorca, cut our ds' hair, picked ds up from gymnastics, even asked to be my bridesmaid and we all went on holiday together with the children. All this happened after the affair started and continued for around two years.

I got wise (and very even) in the end but I will never forgive exP for exposing our ds to the situation. Stupid man.

No, but I can't wait. It's bound to happen some day. I aim to be dignified but cutting.

I did 'run into' her before I knew about the affair. She attended an event I organised two years running while they were at it. I don't know where she got the balls from to be all friendly to me.

kentishgirl - probably the same place that told her she could shag someone else's husband.

Haha yes #itsfab
I'm aiming to avoid ow and never meet her, but, if I did, I'd obviously want to make her feel jealous of me- but how...
Ideas please :)

I've practiced my 'bemused by bad smell' look in case the occasion ever arrives. Hopefully it doesn't because I'm hotheaded and know I'll have to cling on to my dignity and hope my fingernails hold out.

We're still together so I hope the three of us never meet because I'd more than likely throw him to the wolves to make my point...

I was once temping in an office during the uni holidays. I had this boyfriend that I was MAD about. Utterly insane about. Still go weak at the knees thinking about him.

He worked was a student who commuted to uni from home and worked in a local nightclub. so was a dirty fucking player. We would get together every holiday and then split up when i went away, usually with me heart broken.

So I'm typing away next to these two girls. It turned out one was seeing some guy and she talked about him endlessly with her best friend, worrying about how he treated her so badly. When the conversation came to the nightclub and i said 'oh god, the sexiest man alive works there' the room went quiet and one of the girls said 'oh, you are that Fox'. I was sacked the next day!

I've only ever met the OM (not OW in my case...long story!) very briefly but I'd love to have a long chat with him! He seemed VERY surprised at how civil I was so ExP had obviously told him I was a lunatic!

Wow Hatespiders

What a tragic ending.

I could go and see my exs wife any time I want to as I know where she works but I'm way past that and she's very welcome to him.

He's got terminal cancer, so they have enough on their plate without any trouble from me.

When she saw me properly for the first time, she looked downright dowdy in a navy top and jeans ,she's bigger than me with horrible unruly hair that doesn't lie flat properly. That was a dowdy brown too.

I had a gorgeous dress on. Longish blonde hair , nails and make up immaculate. She has horrible funny teeth too while mine are nice and white and I lucked out in that dept....naturally even. Plus I've kept my figure too.

Sorry, I don't want to make out that I'm a model. I'm not lol but she knew I would be there, was a grandsons party and she wore the sort of garb you'd wear to muck out the stables. Perhaps she had lol!

Oh, that was catty but I couldn't resist . Things is she's early fifties and I'mten years older....shouldn't that be the other way round?

The first OW that bowled him over, the one that emailed him telling him she would have the blindfold ready and she'd wear her shawl , the one that let the little triangle of pubic hair show....yes that's the one!!!

The one that made my heart sink. Well I never met her but she showed up on fartbook and her friend ' outed ' a photo of her taken last year.

I couldn't believe it. She looked like she'd eaten a small country!!

I mean when you are left for another woman you do expect to be usurped in the looks stakes.

I think she's put a bit of timber on in the last 7 years! Well maybe a small boat's worth!

Wonder where she's hidden the small triangle of pubic hair!!!

Ooops!

Don't get me started.

I'd make Jo Brand look like someone's little granny!

Ooh love this thread. I've name changed for this one as I don't want link to my other posts via my name and ex did find me on here.
So - first time I got to see OW (by then GF) was at court for first hearing - very nasty case as ex had ishooos, but only saw her back.
She used to go to court with him and wrote all his position statements so eventually saw her slouched in waiting area during a break at another hearing.
Best encounter was following an attempted mediation despite history of DV that he needed to tick off to get Legal Aid (cocklodger extraordinaire)
So mediator recommends us both reading "why men don't listen and women can't read maps". Not exactly going to solve the problem when your exDP had a habit of putting his hands round your neck and shoving you up against the furniture .
Didn't want to buy the silly book but thought I'd better show willing so went into the library to see if they had a copy and then approached librarian at help desk. OW/GF looked up, I looked at her and backed away.
She still works for library, I still go in when I want and keep eyes focused forward despite fact that she and exDP split up after about a year. She and I did almost meet post their split up as she was missing my DS . And since have seen her at various things in town. She is remarkably short; I am not but I do wonder whether he got nasty with her or not

OW was doing the photography at my now exes Best friends wedding(ex was best man)
He left me for her about three weeks after that wedding - I still have a creeping mortification and fury when i think about how I specially asked her to take a picture of us together because we never got dressed up, and her telling us how perfect we looked. It transpired they'd been fucking for months. Silly, silly me.

I had a text off the OW last week. It was a rather bitchy text.

My ex has left her and I think she's a bit upset. Why she's upset with me I have no idea but she clearly is judging by the text.

It made me laugh

And crikey there are some shocking stories here!! Brass neck of some of theses men and their OWs!

Lol!

And I've toned it down, this being a public forum and all!

A "good friend" was the OW for a while. Our children were friends & at the local nursery together. I made damned sure I looked better than her whenever we were likely to meet. She was dumped in the end. I still drive past her house every day some 13 years later.

Dowser, you sound very bitter. It's not all about dress size and hairstyles.

It's not all about dress size and hairstyles, but it helps you cope with the shock and anger. When I walked into exp's house and saw the woman that was 'in my way' I was completely surprised as I'd really have expected him to have upgraded, not slummed it.

Over to you Dowser