The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Getting Ready For The Golden Sights Of Autumn In Search Of Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Hello everyone, I'm Mouse :) and this is the Bus I've been on a while now!

It's filled with a variety of drinkers. Those that do, those that don't, and those who are desperate to STOP but hide it, or embrace it and get the help they NEED.

'Help' in whatever form works for them, your friend or you. Be it AA, a Local Community Alcohol Counselling Group, your GP, your family/friends, this thread or even a combination of all of the above!

You have to want to stop drinking more than wanting to breathe.

I know that right now, that may sound like a ridiculous goal.

They got sober, One Day At A Time then came here during the process to chat about it, discuss their feelings, but more than anything else, their experiences HELPED OTHERS TO BELIEVE that they too could get dry.

They might not get dry and stay dry, sometimes they'll be lying about their consumption, fooling themselves as well as others

BUT when the posters do get dry for good, come back and post to help others with their tricks of the trade or just to say 'I did it!!' my heart jumps for joy because that person, poster, Brave Babe has gone through hell and back, lived to tell the tale and now wants to share that with the rest of the Bus to see if one simple trick or technique will put them on the track to recovery, sobriety, to the life that they want to lead :)

There's two saying that have appeared to stick with us -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

We all have our own reasons for starting to drink 'too much', we all have an excuse don't we.... we all have a "but....."

Well, as I say to Nemo (who you will get to hear about ) - goats butt!

And for those of you who want to know a bit more -

HERE IS THE MOST RECENT THREAD

AND THIS IS WHERE IT ALL BEGAN, OVER FOUR YEARS AGO!!!

See you soon x

Hi y'all, faith I'm the burnt belly babe, just wanted to give you a huge big welcome. We will help and support you in any way we can, as wry says that's how we roll.

So after "bellygate" thought it couldn't get much worse on the confidence front, here's my conversation between myself and my 4 year old dd this morning.

Whilst applying my anti wrinkle cream this morning dd says "why are you putting that cream on?"

"To help get rid of my wrinkles" I say

"It doesn't work very well does it" she answers.

I don't stand a bloody chance!!!!

Hi y'all, faith I'm the burnt belly babe, just wanted to give you a huge big welcome. We will help and support you in any way we can, as wry says that's how we roll.

So after "bellygate" thought it couldn't get much worse on the confidence front, here's my conversation between myself and my 4 year old dd this morning.

Whilst applying my anti wrinkle cream this morning dd says "why are you putting that cream on?"

"To help get rid of my wrinkles" I say

"It doesn't work very well does it" she answers.

I don't stand a bloody chance!!!!

greetings all
((mouse))
Welcome faith. Feck, cant remember when I last did 4 days. I hang out in the sidecar mostly with indie and Barrie the Squid. You are doing well to have it nailed during the week.
at shit auntie scarf!
got to get back to work................................

Hi Phrase, you sound lovely too. Congrats on the pregnancy.

You are right I am a nice person and I need to keep remembering that.

Will give some thought to the counselling, AA etc. May just see how I go on my own first.

Have a family member visiting later and while they aren't much of a drinker, it would usually be an excuse for me to have one bottle. Have been to supermarket and not bought any wine and I don't intend to

You are doing fabulously Phase. Keep going!! xx

Talking of indie - anyone heard from her? What about venus and faire ? Where IS everyone?

Hi Lovely babes

Having a really hard time with settling ds at school,we've had a meeting with lovely senco to see if there are further issues- and there might be.

Gulp- life has not been kind this year how ungrateful am i? and it's been a horrible struggle emotionally. I'm hoping that crying burns lots of calories because bugger the diet right now.

I'm hoping that things will settle down for ds soon delusional

So all your posts are cheering me up,big x for everyone facing crap job choices right now,but I have nothing much to contribute until life settles,which it will

Off for a blanket and a theraputic sob at the back of the bus,under the blanket of course,as any gulit ridden,ex catholic oughta.

I'm wrapping the whole bus in cotton wool tonight and serving mugs of hot chocolate with full cream (whipped) and a ton of marshmallows. Those of you in the side car can add whatever it is in you have in your hip flasks. Just don't let sanctimonious Soc see because I'll throw it out. Look after yourselves you lovely lot. That's all that really matters. xx

guggs how old is ds?
We have had a lot of problems with ds starting secondary last year so I empathise. things do seem better now though. would a t'interbosie make you feel better?

On a lighter note, ds is growing so fast he is already out of his school trousers for this term, which would normally have done him up till Christmas. I dropped him at school this morning and noticed them flapping round his ankles. The fact he was wearing one orange sock and one blue one also drew the eye somewhat!
Idiot boy
I said to him yesterday that Microsoft had bought Minecraft for 1.2 billion and he said "wow! I only paid £15 for it!"

faith re the Allen Carr book I recommend you give it a try. I personally want to be able to moderate what I drink. For example, go to a party, any party inc grown up staid do'so with my PIL, and not get shitfaced. (I did this at FIL's 80th; everyone else had a few beers or A drink but I must have has most go two bottles and don't remember going to bed. I felt horrific the day after but didn't want anyone to realise as I, hoped, they hadn't noticed.)
Last night I looked at AA stuff and realised, with relief, that I didn't answer 'yes' to enough questions to be in need of it. I do know it's got out of hand but thankfully I'm not in the league of having to stop or end up in the gutter (yet!)

Can I ask everyone, what are your families like re booze? My mother drinks a LOT and when we lived in the Middle East both she and my stepdad drank a lot. She isn't disapproving of me drinking, but probably doesn't notice it as much as, say, MIL would as she's at it herself

Hi Alias Thanks for the welcome and explaining sidecar to me.

Hello baby, I'm sorry but your post has made me laugh out loud again. Kids hey!! Thanks too for the welcome.

Greetings right back at ya ma Thinking about it, four days is quite good. In the last month I have probably only gone two or three days. In the last 28 days I have drunk 16/18 of them. At least a bottle of wine each session.
What's life like in the sidecar?

life in the sidecar is frustrating. I would like to be on the bus with all the sober babes but I never make it so I just try and moderate as best I can and be more aware of triggers and amount consumed. its an on going battle and one which I don't think I will ever win.
nancery my brother was/is an alcoholic and you can read about his brush with death on the threads around May 2013. He was eventually taken in by the Salvation Army who saved his life. He still lives with them but is sober and healthy and working on his Masters degree with the OU while working part-time supporting other addicts as a counsellor. I don't want to end up in the state he did - he so very nearly died. But it doesn't stop me drinking. Go figure, as they say.....

Well that killed the thread.
Dd2 home from uni with possible flu....d'argh! Feel I should give her a hug but would rather hug Typhoid Mary than risk the flu.

Hey ma how's your patient doing?

She's pale,hot and headachy.put a cushion on my lap and lay her head on it and then looked at me like a sick puppy and said" mum"
Me: "what?"
Dd: "will you do something for me?"
Me(worried): "what?"
Dd:"will you pluck my eyebrows?"

Honestly! She also wangled a neck massage from dh and a head massage from Ds, although that was in return for Choc chip cookies and dds bf coming round to play Fifa with him on the Xbox!

Ha! It's not bloody flu! Bad cold maybe but not flu!

I have just read previous posts as my ipad has developed an irritating habit if changing words. 'Of' becomes 'go' fir example. So if there are weird sentences, that's why!

I've had 2/3rds a bottle if wine. DH came back, riddled with talks of bonus', and brought wine. Which I've drunk. I also showed him a music video and said 'remember this?' I thought we last saw it about 6 yrs ago dancing in a friends kitchen. He informed me that I showed him in 'a while ago' and added 'a few times.'

ma he's 4 and it's screening for special needs of one sort or another. i'm sort of getting a grip on it all but I feel guilty for not 'knowing' and needing school to pick up on some problems he has.

Right I've had a big upheaval and it's been pants but I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and crack on. I will not be drinking today. Will come back and say hello later

Nancery it was conversations like that that brought me to the bus I had so many conversations that I forgot, DH or DS's would look at me strangely and say 'you told me this' or 'yes, we decided this last night... had a whole conversation about it actually' and I couldn't remember a bloody thing. Knew then that the wine consumption was way out of hand,I hated how I looked, I was 5 stone overweight, bloated and saggy with blotchy skin, a pain in my right side under my ribs which was clearly my liver protesting and a newly developed tendancy to get shit faced when we went out and fall over DH was very worried I would do serious damage to myself but tbh he had absolutely no clue just how much I was actually drinking. I would drink every day, keeping a bottle by the side of the settee where it could not be seen and topping up the juice coloured squash in my big glass whenever he left the room. I used to wonder why he couldn't smell it!
the warmth and humour sometimes makes me cry but it brings my resolve to a level where I can actually press on with my quest for change.I have had a few starts and managed 14 days once, I want to be a regulated drinker but right now I know I can't be, I am an all or nothing gal but working on it. The bus has given me the courage to face up to my problem and is great at support and oh boy there have been times when I have needed it
I am day 12 today of another attempt and have 1 more stone to get to my target weight

I am really bad at NC and post very selfish me me me posts but I honestly am grateful to all the babes for being here and wish you all well.

I feel shit today. Thirsty, bloated, headache and want to eat rubbish. THIS is why I want to get a handle on this!
Back later, off out to a toddler dancing class now (ugh)

Toddler dancing class? No wonder you feel sick

I feel sick too - with anxiety. I keep telling myself 'I can do this work, I am not stupid. I can understand it. Just - one step at a time'

But every time I ask my boss to explain, her explanations get longer and more complicated!!

'you told me this' or 'yes, we decided this last night... had a whole conversation about it actually'

Oh yeah, been there and done that.

faith, how are you today? What's the plan for fending off the WW tonight? Don't let her in, you know she's skulking round the back door!

guggs, if DS does have any special needs then it's been noticed nice and early and he'll get the support he needs from you and from school. Special needs are such a complicated and subtle area, that's why they have SEN specialists!

nance, re family my mum's a moderate drinker but my dad's been a 'functioning' alcoholic for decades. While they were married (nearly 15 years) Mum said Dad had had less than 10 AF days, though he'd usually only have one or two drinks. After they divorced, when I was in my early teens, it really ramped up. I believe I inherited my attraction to alcohol from him. My brother's not that bothered about drinking, though he does take quite a lot of recreational drugs and behaves in risky ways. Our upbringing was a mess and I think we're both attracted to ways of getting out of our heads (in both senses).

DH came home last night from a work jolly, not drunk but REEKING of booze. I don't realise how much alcohol smells until I'm sober. I got up in the night to go for one of my interminable pees, and when I got back the whole bedroom smelt like a pub carpet, even with the window open. It makes me wonder how I ever thought I could get away with 'secret' drinking

I am a massive food hoover at the moment. It's all I think about. Thus far I have already eaten toast, cereal and a slice of yesterday's pizza and I'm hungry again. Not putting on that much weight though - the not drinking is balancing it out!

Phrase i was a food hoover through both of my pregnancies, just couldn't get enough!

I drank on Thursday, was sorting through lots of old photos and just really wanted to. It was fine, I drank a bottle probably. Waking up was awful though, my mind racing and my head hurt, I felt defeated and edgy. As I lay there, I thought this really is not worth it. I really love waking up after not drinking. So day 2 here and feeling a little bit excited about having guests!!! Really hoping (perhaps kidding myself) that this may be a restorative visit. Anyway, there is always the secret annex

Have a good day babes xxx

eccles well done on day 12
I have had a really bad week drink wise and woke up feeling deservedly shit this morning!

Erm, I also have a painful lumpy bit in my boob.
First doctor's appointment is next Friday.

oh ma no! FWIW I'm sure I've read that breast lumps are usually not a problem if they cause pain. It's the painless, innocuous ones which are suspicious.

thanks joey that makes me feel better.
im sure it's just related to menopause and periods as I always get really tender boobs at that time of the month, but this feels a bit different. Not a lump exactly, more like a hardening of an area of tissue and an ache and tenderness to touch. I'll get it checked out next week.....keep thinking about all the articles I've read about too much alcohol increasing your chances of breast cancer but am being a drama queen. I'm sure its just normal lumpage and bumpage for my age.
DD2 told me this last night:
What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?
hallo me!

(say it out loud)

Is she feeling better then?!

Yeah, definitely get it checked out, but probably 'normal lumpage' as you say. If alcohol affected our chances, there would be no passengers on this bloody bus at all.