The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Getting Ready For The Golden Sights Of Autumn In Search Of Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Hello everyone, I'm Mouse :) and this is the Bus I've been on a while now!

It's filled with a variety of drinkers. Those that do, those that don't, and those who are desperate to STOP but hide it, or embrace it and get the help they NEED.

'Help' in whatever form works for them, your friend or you. Be it AA, a Local Community Alcohol Counselling Group, your GP, your family/friends, this thread or even a combination of all of the above!

You have to want to stop drinking more than wanting to breathe.

I know that right now, that may sound like a ridiculous goal.

They got sober, One Day At A Time then came here during the process to chat about it, discuss their feelings, but more than anything else, their experiences HELPED OTHERS TO BELIEVE that they too could get dry.

They might not get dry and stay dry, sometimes they'll be lying about their consumption, fooling themselves as well as others

BUT when the posters do get dry for good, come back and post to help others with their tricks of the trade or just to say 'I did it!!' my heart jumps for joy because that person, poster, Brave Babe has gone through hell and back, lived to tell the tale and now wants to share that with the rest of the Bus to see if one simple trick or technique will put them on the track to recovery, sobriety, to the life that they want to lead :)

There's two saying that have appeared to stick with us -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

We all have our own reasons for starting to drink 'too much', we all have an excuse don't we.... we all have a "but....."

Well, as I say to Nemo (who you will get to hear about ) - goats butt!

And for those of you who want to know a bit more -

HERE IS THE MOST RECENT THREAD

AND THIS IS WHERE IT ALL BEGAN, OVER FOUR YEARS AGO!!!

See you soon x

wry step away from my ice cream....

I'm off to yoga on a Friday night because this is what I have become.

But actually while typing that I realised I haven't even thought about wine today and Friday was so hard in the beginning.

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Doctors, emergency appt for me at 10.40 this morning. I can't do this without help anymore and I am NOT going back to drinking 90 units of vodka a week.

Thank you all. Off to shower, a treat for this Mouse who would rather go back to bed and Crabby - I do remember you posting now and again. Bless your heart xxx

mouse I hope everything goes okay at the doctors

soc mmm DH and I are addicted to the salted caramel ice-cream - we wait till DD goes up to bed, give each other the secret 'look' and immediately head for the freezer. Then we argue (in hissed whispers so as not to wake DD - if she found out, we'd never hear the end of it!) about who has the bigger portion...

Mouse good luck with the appointment, I hope the GP is supportive. Xx

Guggs This quitting business is a journey not a short sprint to sainthood tut, I quite fancied a sprint to sainthood . Your words never read anything but supportive and kind, I know exactly what you meant and I thankyou for it. The 'one stumble and you've failed' mentality is so dangerous and doesn't offer any hope or inclusivity. We are all human and brushing yourself off and starting again often takes enormous will. It can be very tempting to accept defeat and stop trying, use it as a stick to beat yourself with.

If I take something from it, it is that I am a hopeless drunk, once I begin, my focus is on continuing. I am not sure I even enjoy the moment, I am so concerned with having more. I still have a headache today, think it may have triggered a bit of a migraine. Anyway day 2

Soc and Wry thanks for your words too. It is so lovely feeling the support of the bus babes . joey I love the idea of the furtive ice cream eye signals between you and your dh!! I think I may have to try this product out for myself, all in the name of research of course!

Love to all xxx

beaches I'm the same. The minute I have that first sip of wine I am consumed by thoughts of more and is there enough for me to get as wasted as I like to be. I am so far from a normal drinker. Anyway, the plan is to abstain forever. I may have to start a new thread for salted caramal ice cream addictions though.

I feel bloody brilliant after yoga mind you. Hot yoga too so I'm in bed like a deflated balloon.

mouse hope your GP is supportive. I am so pleased you are getting RL help. I wouldn't be here without my GP. Or the bus. I'd better not forget the bus or I'll never get another opal again.

mouse hope all goes well at GP
wry thanks for the belief, I shed a small tear and am planning the next day 1. I am not sure it will be today as I have wine in the fridge but tomorrow I have said I will drive as DH and I are going to a party on the moor and will either have to camp there or drive home... its september, its cold and I don't like camping! so tomorrow may well be day 1

Hey all - fairenuff, I agree about loss - my mum died 21 yrs ago, I still ache for her - a bit sad and extreme but I worshipped that woman - so even though I know my girls wud feel the same if I was to die, I numb my sadness with alcohol - I'm not too worried tho now, as I've seen from all the posts here that although my problem is quite real at the moment there is still hope and time for me to desl with it - i didn't drink last night, I've been to the gym and had a good day, so I may just give it a bit more thought later tonight when I get the urge to drink the one bottle of red I have in and I may also just not have it!?

Evening all, finally, it's the weekend.

Tonight I will not be drinking.

But I will be eating supernoodles.

Classy.

I just wanted to say, I wholeheartedly agree about the people left behind. My heart aches for them, I swear if I could invent a magic wand to take some of the hurt away, I would in a heartbeat.

I never, ever get used to the pain and bewilderment in people's eyes. The rawness, the shock, whether or not it is expected doesn't matter.

A smell, a song or a situation can bring that pain right back again, years down the line. My granny used to say that time is a great healer, but I take a small bit of comfort in the fact that if people are in pain, it only emphasises how much that person was loved. And that is never a sad thing.

Mouse I hope you got the help and support you needed this morning, thinking of you and sending the tightest bosie through the ether. xx

Good evening my fabulous friends, I've been reading every post but after every one of my "episodes" I feel duty bound to run about like an apologetic chicken trying to be super mum and super wife and not had time to post but here goes:

My lovely beaches, it's getting chilly here and I need to light my fire so I'm taking that stick you keep whacking yourself with and tossing it in my open fire!!! I've been thinking about you a lot and I would hate you to lose sight of how amazingly your doing and a wee slip on your birthday will not undo all your hard work. I was thinking even if you drank once for every 35 days you managed sober you'd drink a mere 10 times in a year, that's a million miles away from every night so please keep sight of, it's like losing a stone and gaining a pound, you are amazing, you've done amazing and that stick is burning nicely. Xxx

wry I've decided your a modern day Cybil Shepherd in Moonlighting, she was a fabulous, sexy, smart private investigator and I so wanted to be like her. In your search for the camera and the evidence, you will be fabulous. Infact she never had a nurse's uniform and tight jodhpurs so your even more sensational. I'm just sorry that heed the baw you've given your heart and soul to isn't Bruce Willis. We all love you dearly and you will get all the love you deserve one day soon. Xxx

joey remember that knowing look was for some hanky panky and now it's ice cream, well it lasts longer for sure!!! Xx

guggs as always you are full of compassion and wisdom, your posts are so caring and always
Spot on, thank goodness we have you here xxx

sober you continue to inspire me with your journey and how far you've come, your our superbabe and I love reading your posts, keep em coming xxx

eccles keep throwing mud at the wall and eventually it'll stick, as long as your here and are trying to change, it'll happen, sometimes all I have is the hope one day I'll be free of booze forever, at least we have that and we all have each other xxx

ma I'm always willing you some happiness, so much on your plate and if handsome chap brings you a smidgeon of happiness, you can at least have that for now, hugs for you xxx

mouse I really truly hope your feeling a wee bit better, bad things happen to good people and it baffles be, your a brave lady, your mum would be very very proud of her girl xx

Right I know I've missed loads out but I'm scared I lose this so my love to everyone, day 5 here and life is scary but it's good to feel (ooh err) xxxx

Evening all, how are you doing babyj?

Doing fine joey very relieved to be sober and feeling kinda normal. My parents have watched wee one twice this week which has been amazing for me. She is adorable but hardly sleeps and she stays up til I go to bed and gets up when I get up, I hadn't realised the toll it had taken on me, haven't watched a film for months or got to read a book, hell I can't get a bath on my own. She is very very headstrong and challenges me from first thing putting clothes on to last thing getting her to sleep. Having 2 nights to relax has lifted my spirits immensely, I love her so much but at 43 and battling crohn's and depression I hadn't realised how worn out I had become and I've missed just a few toddler free hours in the evening. I've tried everything to get her down earlier but the health visitor said some kids just don't need much sleep!!!! Anyway 2 nights off has let me have a wee bit of time with dh and dd1 and a little bit of quiet and I feel so much better for it. Next time they take her I feel some salted caramel ice cream maybe part of the relaxation plan, just so I can empathise with your own situation ofcourse!!!!! Xxxx

Quick check in. Love to all, especially Superspy wry.
OK. Crisis.....I have to attend an event on Monday night. There will be 28 people there. One of them will be distracted chap. What to do? Call in sick to avoid him? Go to event and try to act normally? Other options? Help!!!!!!!

Wear something drop dead gorgeous, big smile on, belly in, breasts oot and make like the wifie in the Sheba advert, sashay.......

Flamin well have a flirt and give yourself a slice of happy ma, because as Cheryl says, you are worth it.

No other options, g'wan.

Hello, tis, me, Mouse

You are ALL utterly amazing Babes no matter where you are in your journey.

The doctor was supportive as much as he could be, he's starting at the beginning I suppose, but he's asked for a full blood count and eventually, I gave my permission to see a Mental Health Team.... then the bugger stabbed me with my flu jab just to cheer me up!

I don't do 'talking' and I am scared to open any more boxes. So I'm off to bed to think about my list.

I've had another shit and horrid day. I want my Mum. I want to hold her and her to hold me, make me fit into her warm form and tell me it's all going to be okay....

Just like she used to. Like I do with Nemo and my darling, ever growing daughter.

Plans for the half term holidays have changed and as stupid as it sounds, I am so, so, so sad about it. I was really looking forward to spending time with friends as DD is in NY with school.

I wanted to see my friends and I still could, but the idea was to see my friend who lost her DD, my close, darling and lovely friend who I worry about so much. Nemo was so looking forward to seeing his friend too...... why is this bothering me so much? I'm pathetic atm. I want to hide. Cry. Shout.

I wish I could turn back time and be me again. Less tears today but I still feel shitty about who I am.

Better call it a day.

Night gorgeous people, no matter what it is that is hurting you, making your life shitty, take one look in the mirror each day and decide what you want to do that day.

Just one thing. Even if it's just to smile. Just to look at yourself, think of a really lovely time in your life and smile.

Sleep well xxx

Tonight I feel stuck again. I need to start lists but finish them. Get my Blog started, and my sponsored walk for BHF and McMillan in November.

Hey joey what have you been up to this evening lovely? xx

baby are your parents able to help you out with your DD for a few weeks, just to let you recharge your batteries? If you know you have one or two nights in the week to plan a bath, an hour or two with a book, or even just to cop a feel, you'll be on top of the world in no time.

YYY to the ice cream. You may have to fight soc and me for it but a little you and dh time, sharing a tub, watching a film, sounds like a top night in to me! And squeeze in a ride somewhere. You know you want to.....

Well done on day 5! Bloody brilliant!

demented that's not a crisis. That's an opportunity. I'm with wry on this one. Go and have fun. You deserve it. We all deserve to feel good about ourselves. Go.....make sure you look drop dead gorgeous. And come back and tell us all about it.

mouse sorry to hear you're struggling. Are you writing lists to keep your mind busy? Your emotions will find a way to come out, maybe you need allow yourself to grieve?

ma is there a 3rd option? sorry, I shouldn't encourage you...

alias lol....I was thinking as much but clearly you're a badder woman than me to actually write it down. tut tut

mouse stay strong. You do so well given everything you have to deal with. xx

mouse she's there you know, right beside you, every step of the way. And she would be so proud of you today, you got yourself out for some help, even though you wanted to haul the duvet back over your head.

I'm pleased the doctor is starting from the beginning, and that you've had your flu jab.

Can you meet your friends half way for a day out somewhere? Just to give you something to look forward to? You are not pathetic my love, never were, never will be. Keep on keeping on, xx

(I am back in the eighties, 1984 at the Capitol, watching Depeche Mode)

mouse good to see you back on the bus. You have such a lot on your plate and yet you soldier on supporting us all. Your mum would be so very proud of you. Pity you have got a bit slack with the breakfast trolley but one can't have everything in life.....
Event on Monday is business so no drop dead gorgeous outfits. Which us good, because I don't have any. Love the way you are all encouraging me .....bad,bad people!!!

ma just after my post willing you a bit of happiness you posted about "necessary" hook up with handsome chap!!! I guess that makes me a witch cos my spell worked!!! Well dd1 tells me I'm a witch all the time so there's clearly something in it, in my lovely bath last night, washed my wild blonde mane and didn't straighten so I'm defo looking witch like this morning. Get your thistle groomed and go for the naughty secretary look, all buttoned up and frustrated and he may rip your bodice open, right no more Jackie Collins for me!!!

Dd2 been up since 6.45, tummy agony with crohn's pain and I look like a demented witch, not off to a "flying" start, get it, witch, flying!!! Ah well it was worth a try....

mouse big hug coming your way.

wry you are a filthy mare, get it, mare, riding Crikey I'm at it again...

Day 6, me drink??? Piss off saggy tits xxx

at baby. Get my thistle groomed? Fnar,fnar! Am ridiculously excited about a very dull business dinner....
You sound very cheery. Keep kicking saggy tits in the, well,tits I suppose.
Is secret agent wry about?
Also, haven't heard from dearest thurso for a while..are you lurking?
Pissing down with rain here so not sure how to pass the day other than counting the hours until Monday

Still on board over here !
1st week went just as I wanted . AF all week . Much more organised and as for mornings !!! How much better am I and as a new lone parent it's been a huge achievement . Pure habit coming in from work and pouring a glass of wine or a g and t . Once I make a cup of tea instead I thought about it less as the week went by.
Bought my fave yest which is cava and thoroughly enjoyed it last night and will finish it off tonight ! Back to AF Sun prior to work and usual mayhem of the week .
I seemed to get so much more done and lots more time in the evenings !
Positives hugely outweigh the negatives.
And didn't spend money on alcohol all week !
I do lurk on here but don't seem to be able to post on my phone .