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Original poster

new BFs rude friend

100 replies

Odessa88 · 27/08/2014 15:18

Hi.
sorry I post here a lot-only place I get any sense!
long story short.....I have a new SO. was going great 4 a few months and went to meet his friends at a party. They were all intoxicated and I was sober.
One girl in particular who he says is his best friend, wouldn't shake my hand, ignored me then stated I was chubby and a head case.
I don't know why because I was pleasant and everyone else was lovely, and they were clearly embarrassed when it happened. My SO started laughing (he was drunk too), but later told her (in the biggest display of kiss assing and flowery language not to do it again).
its early days and i don't know if i can be bothered with this. She never apologised and he just makes excuses and says i should give her a chance and wants us to hang out again.
Any advice???? x

OP posts:
AskBasil · 27/08/2014 21:46

So basically he's saying that you're chubby and a head case?

Because calling a spade a spade, implies that you are speaking plainly about a self-evident truth. He's saying she's just speaking plainly and telling it like it is.

He hasn't apologised. She hasn't apologised.

I would be thinking that they could both fuck off to the far side of fuck, tbh.

AskBasil · 27/08/2014 21:46

Oh and when they get there, they should then fuck off just a little bit some more.

And then a bit more after that.

zipzap · 27/08/2014 21:53

Oh I don't know walter - I'd have thought that shovelling him out of the door would have been more appropriate Wink

Also op - if she calls a spade a spade - does he mean that he thinks she was telling the truth? Because that's not very nice of him either. If he'd said that she likes to put everyone down or that she gets jealous so makes catty comments that would be different - but excusing it by saying that she calls a spade a spade kind of implies that he agrees with her...

coppertop · 27/08/2014 21:54

I'd also bet my last penny that when someone else tells her 'how it is' that she turns into a poor delicate little flower who complains that people are being mean to her.

The 'call a spade a spade' thing only ever seems to work one way IME.

If I'm wrong and she does indeed appreciate others telling her how it is, your boyfriend should have no difficulty in telling her that she behaved badly.

Reepits · 27/08/2014 22:24

She's territorial, she want him. He is a twat. Dump him.

RedRoom · 28/08/2014 00:40

Calling a spade a spade isn't really a compliment, IMO. It usually means someone blurts out things without any regard for the consequences: sod whether it upsets anyone or causes trouble. In short, brain and gob do not engage. If he condones or actually admires that kind of behaviour and thinks it is a strength of hers, then that doesn't say much for him. Rude pair of buggers.

RedRoom · 28/08/2014 00:41

Coppertop has a good point, btw. If she does live life following the rule 'call a spade a spade' then she should have no issue with being called rude, insensitive, possessive, immature and lacking in social skills, should she?

kaykayblue · 28/08/2014 09:18

I'm surprised that you didn't tell her to go fuck herself with a spade when she made those comments.

You don't know these people - you have no obligation to be polite to them if they are going to be rude in the extreme.

Passing judgements on someone's weight is about as rude as you can get. And him refusing to stand up to her - AND excusing her behaviour the following day is just bullshit.

There was clearly something between them at some point.

Any age past 16 is too old for this shit. Tell him you really liked him, but you can't be doing with this playground drama shit, or dating someone whose head is so far up a friend's arse that he can't call her out on totally shitty behaviour.

Ivehearditallnow · 28/08/2014 09:24

I think that the comment about weight etc is obvs vile... but the 'head case' comment makes me wonder what he's been saying to her about you? Sorry but, she seems to think (by using that term) that you're a bunny boiler or something?

Being rude about your appearance is one thing but commenting on you being 'a head case' is the thing that makes me doubt your spineless DP even more.

Really think you should re-consider him... this is a lot of unnecessary drama very early on. x

AskBasil · 28/08/2014 09:28

Actually that's a very good point.

Why did she call you a headcase? Where did she get that idea from? People don't just invent things because they're drunk, the idea must have been there before.

He's been telling her shit about you. That really is the most likely explanation of her behaviour. The other one is that in fact, she is a headcase and he's attracted to the drama of the headcase which is why he's such good friends with her, in which case he's a headcase himself.

Either way it's not looking good for him.

mariposaazul · 28/08/2014 09:38

Is it not possible just to avoid her? This seems to be about her rather than you or him.
I would not like to be responsible for everything my friends do or think(!) & wonder how much alcohol created this situation? I would certainly call them on something like this but probably one to one -,did he do this?- & require an apology. Have you seen her since?

Ivehearditallnow · 28/08/2014 09:53

Maripo so if one of your mates called your DP 'chubby' and mental you wouldn't say anything? Confused

plantsitter · 28/08/2014 10:56

Sounds like you should cut your losses to me. Could Not be arsed with this myself. If he is serious about you he will stop seeing her or at the very very least make her apologise. I get the feeling either he fancies her or he was enjoying her jealous reaction, neither of which is good for you.

Original poster
Odessa88 · 28/08/2014 13:17

U couldn't write this in a soap! Apparently she texted him to say I just seen her and didn't speak! oh my god this is totally insane

OP posts:
Original poster
Odessa88 · 28/08/2014 13:18

I must say I Swear I seen No one!

OP posts:
Alphabollocks · 28/08/2014 13:25

Oh fgs! Get out of their soap opera.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 28/08/2014 13:32

Omg, in the words of Woody, "Run like the wind, Bullseye."

Run, Run and never look back, no one needs to have that drama in their lives.

AbbieHoffmansAfro · 28/08/2014 13:34

And so he couldn't help but to pass her latest stupidness onto you? Why on earth did he bother telling you?

You're just a bit part player in their drama. Time to exit stage left.

Original poster
Odessa88 · 28/08/2014 14:13

Yr right PLUS I took it the wrong way again because I said she seems like she's causing trouble. Also admitted he tells her stuff about us because she's his friend!!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Odessa88 · 28/08/2014 14:16

Btw thank u all for yr honesty and support I would have turned into a head case without it ha. though I am considering decorating my lawn with some things he left at my house

OP posts:
Alphabollocks · 28/08/2014 14:22

Get out of this ridiculous situation, I hope you do. Sounds more like a slanging match than a relationship. There are better men out there that come without this baggage. You could even just say it is not working for you and you are getting out, you don't have to give a specific reason like you are not prepared to put up with some silly immature woman and man. Tell him to do one then let them get on with it.

RedRoom · 28/08/2014 15:09

Oh throw all his shit on the lawn and let him come and get it. He's got no spine. The pair of them deserve each other.

Ivehearditallnow · 28/08/2014 15:36

Pathetic!

Someone did that to me once, mortally offended I'd 'blanked' them when in fact I hadn't seen them. Power tripping childish fool.

And he has sponge for a spine.

x

mynewusername · 28/08/2014 16:04

In vino veritas. You've seen his true colours, and hers too.

They can F off

Original poster
Odessa88 · 28/08/2014 16:19

He is totally refusing to acknowledge that she is trouble causing because she was stressing that I HAD seen her n ignored her. I didn't see her and what stopped her saying hi and apologising.
I am so angry I nearly pulled the old it's her or me but that's childish and I know who he would pick! x

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