he just revealed that he had a mistress and five years old daughter

[MaMaof04]

the affair started when we were moving countries and he lodges at her house- romance started- he said that he believed it would be for just a week but he kept coming back and forth and lodging at her house and helped her- and she kept wanting him to come and help her with her problems- until the day she asked him to help her
have a baby as she was close to her fourties- he said that pregnancy came straight away- he is a good dad to his love child- all the time he was having fun
i was struglling with my 4 kids- to adjust the eldest to new education systems and to help the two little ones who had many problems including adhd and speech problems because they were born premature- they were toddlers during his affair. he told me about it all only two weeks ago- i feel a bit stupid disgusted and like if i am with a stranger- my eldest daughters and I always cherished him because what we thought was his integrity and inability to lie- we forgave him his awful inflexibility-
All my kids are doing OK (in fact very good) at school and emotionally- my daughters are not affected by the affair- I was honest with them- the little ones do not know- i checked what they could accept and no it would be too hard for them to have a perfect brand new sister-
I look very good and very attractive for my age- but hey I am approaching my mid fiftiesand I still have a lot to do to keep my 4 kids mentally and emotionally healthy.
my little ones want us to stay together- i said we will but separated but they are not that happy-
Mister say that he loves me he never wanted to split he told her it would be short but it was a process and when she told him she wants achild because she approaches her 40 he said ok let have full intercourse during ovulation so convinced that this will just please her and not make her pregnant given the numerous ivfs treatments i did to have my little ones- he even says that she is not that attractive to him- now he wants to continue to be a good dad to his other child and he wants that we continue to be together- the little ones want us to stay together- the eldest ones give us to sort out our problems- please just say something- now I am discovering little things- such as trips with the daughter and the other woman etc etc what to do???? just throw your opinions- i will welcome any-

it is indeed odd
but life can be odd c'est la vie
they say there is no fool as an old fool
well that is true-my connard is an old fool-
besides odd or not i got to deal with it
but i do not want my kids to live in the feeling that their family is odd
so i joke about it with the girls, after i checked how mature or ready my little ones are
to hear the story i decided just to spare it to them, i will slowly prepare it them, by dripping it in general stories etc, i will rebuild their dad's image (i first give them time to vent
their anger at them- ) by stressing the good things in this odd story -he is fully taking fatherhood responsibility-i will stop speaking about his honesty as i did before- he must make it clear to them that the little one does not undermine his love for them- of course the daughters are upset because she 'steals' time from the little ones and they
feel that she also steals their monies- i had to be more careful with
the monies i spent on their extra-curricular activities recently, because he told me to do so...) i will slowly neutralize his 'f**ing behavior
and this odd story will not determine or define our life - it is just like
a birth mark- it might even be cute and open up their mind and heart to other people's life-

so where is Connard living now.
Is he still with you at home--if so get him out. he has taken you for a fool for the last 6+ years.
Time for you to start over again with someone who can keep his dick in his trousers

he is now in the uk with the boys-
we were on family holidays when Connard spilled out the beans-
the boys were with us- i waited for my elder daughter to join us in the uk
before i told her the story- i did not want her to cancel her trip as she has a lot of friends in Surrey and it is only during the summer holidays that she can be with them for a couple of weeks- she came to the UK last wednesday and went straight to her friends in Surrey-the boys Moi and Connard were then in London- i then told her the story and asked her to talk it through with her friends - she told them and came to visit me to check on my well being- - she spent Thursday and Friday with us- we had a good time- we dined and wined together- she felt i was ok- she was happy to return to her friends- i was then free to curtail my holidays
and i come back home to my anna on Sunday- i left the boys with connard
and he is playing the good father now- now about throwing him out of the house: that it is not so easy- what will the boys think of it? i have to teach them that they cannot eat the cake and keep it entire- that is for sure- but i want them to be with their father- so we will separate but share the same house-i will slowly and according to their readiness tell them the story-
you know in this dating site i subscribed to i had the opportunity to talk to some guys who divorced/separated and they are telling me about arrangements of sharing the same house without sharing the same bed-
Girls i mustl tell you: in mumsnets i find compassion and wittiness and in this dating site
i hear about some solutions- (I also see disgusting dicks out and about)-
in fact if you have time subscribe just for a short while to some dating site -not to fish any dirty old dick but just to observe the male fauna-
believe me that shows me negative behaviors i do not want my boys to ever indulge in-

I am pretty sure it won't work out as well as you think it will. Connard will continue to play a huge part in family life and the only thing different is that he will not-l hope-share your bed.
It really doesn't sent out a very healthy message to your DC's and l am sure they will pick up on the atmosphere at home very quickly.
Sometimes in order to move on you need to make a clean break, kids are very resilient and will deal with this a lot better than you think.
He seemed to spend a large amount of time away from the family home anyway, could he not find a place for himself nearby when he could see the boys as often as he wants.
As it stands just now there doesn't seem to any serious consequences for his longstanding betrayal

girls out there: i owe an apology and some explanations to all women using sperm donation and to al kids born following it-
1- before i married i considered the case i would not find Mr Right (???) and because i love kids i promised myself ivf with sperm donations
2- my daughters made it clear to me that they would have been delighted to accept in our family any child born out of Connard's sperm donation and the Mum- but this is not the case-