Desparately need my maiden name back - any advice?

[handfulofcottonbuds]

I'm going through a divorce at the moment and for some reason my FWH is dragging his heels and making the process longer than it needs to be!

I don't get it, he is living with OW, has been for almost a year now. Has a beautiful rented house in an elite area and seems to have everything. Yet he is still pleading poverty and delaying any financial resolution and refusing to answer any questions, instead asking more stupid questions such as has my son got special needs! He brought him up for 11 years!! He's playing nasty.

Anyway, all this is setting me back and although I wanted to change back to my maiden name as part of my divorce, I am now desperate to have MY name back now for my own sanity.

Does anyone know how I go about it? My legal bills are through the roof as it is and I just want it done in the simplest way.

Thank you

[longjane]

Can I just ask all those that change their name .
Do you use mrs ms or miss

[handfulofcottonbuds]

longjane - I'm intending to go back to Miss.

[pregnantpause]

I use ms- but I've always used maid I hadn't I'd choose miss I think

[pregnantpause]

Used ms not maid.

[MsAnthropic]

justatoe You do not need either, if your passport and driver's license are changed. As others have pointed out, your name remains your name always. I know banks say they need it, but they are not correct. What would they do if you changed it with HMRC yourself (which you can very easily) and all other official government bodies? My banks gave me the same story and I pointed out it was ridiculous because I had NO identification whatsoever in my married name and all legal/government documentation was not in my married name.

pregnantpause That is just staggering. My GP, hospital and NHS card all were changed without a murmur.

longjane I use Ms

[Prometheus]

Passport website says you need to send in marriage certificate and decree absolute in order to revert back to your 'maiden' name. Surely this can't be true - what if the decree absolute is another few years away???

[MsAnthropic]

Prometheus I sent in marriage certificate, my old passport and a letter saying I wanted to revert. They issued new passport without query.

[TravellingToad]

Go to //www.changemyname.to

It will cost £10 and you never have to use his surname again.

No brainer.

[OneLittleToddleTerror]

pregnantpause omg that is awful. There is no legal requirement to change name in the first place. I never did and I don't remember anyone informing me I needed to! I'm sure you didn't either or you wouldn't have kept it in most of the official document.

Definitely complain about the receptionist. That's just not on. People usually only switch back to birth name for a reason.

[Jennco]

I know I am hijacking the thread, and I am sorry, but my marriage certificate doesnt have my birth name on it!
instead it just a name i was given and used for the previous 14 years (mum married my step dad - and whilst not adopting me, the wanted me to have the same family surname so was given his)
My passport had the family name, as did driving license, but all completely different to my Birth certificate name.
Silly question, but is my marriage legal? and if so, what do i need to do if i ever wanted to revert to my maiden name (not the family name - they got divorced :D)

[handfulofcottonbuds]

I don't mind anyone hijacking the thread, I'm glad to get the advice and also know I'm not the only one.

I am confused though and need my maiden name back. I cannot explain how horrible I feel having his name

I'm confused with all the different advice.

[skyeskyeskye]

Hi Cotton I changed mine my deed poll for around £40. One bank informed me that this was required, however I have since found out the the Decree Absolute is all that is required.

If you are wanting to change it before you get the DA, then deed poll is the way to go. I think that there is a free one that you can use, as long as it is witnessed correctly it legally stands.

Driving Licence required the deed poll and the DA. So did the bank. The utility bills have all done it by email with no proof. The Life Insurance companies wanted the DP and the DA. It varies from company to company.

[skyeskyeskye]

I stated Ms as the deed poll wanted a title. I didn't feel like Miss or Mrs was appropriate so went for Ms.

[handfulofcottonbuds]

Thank you skye xx

[FishWithABicycle]

You REALLY don't need to do deedpoll - it's unnecessary.

All anyone has to do to change their name is write their own document, and get it signed and witnessed by 2 professional-type people of your acquaintance. My DH did this when we married so that we both had the same surname without being patriarchal, and never had any problems.

There is no legal requirement to register your new name in any particular way, there are a lot of people who like to make money out of pretending that there is.

Quoted from The Guardian:

Changing your name by deed poll

A "change of name deed poll" is simply a document that contains the following three declarations:

• I am abandoning my previous name.

• I will use my new name at all times.

• I require all persons to address me by my new name only.

You must sign and date this declaration in both your old and your new name. Your new name must contain both a forename and a surname and be pronounceable, as well complying with other common sense restrictions specified by the Home Office. Two witnesses, who aren't related to you, must also sign your deed poll and give their name, occupations and addresses.

You can prepare this document yourself using the legal phrases shown in the government's free example form but are under no obligation to do so so long as the above 3 statements are clear and the witnesses are appropriate.

[FishWithABicycle]

sorry somehow the words I intended to type in the top bit "..pay to.." got missed out.

[MsAnthropic]

FishWithABicycle good explanation of the process!

It irks me so much that there are so many companies that charge for deed poll when it does not cost anything. It's plain theft.

It irks me even more that any company says they need either a deed poll or a decree absolute - it is absolute nonsense. A married woman who has no plans for divorce or separation can revert to her maiden name. A woman's birth name is always her name. It's just bullshit and I wish more people would challenge it and tell these people they are wrong. I only had problem with one bank out of the whole process and like I said, that lasted a few minutes. The person went away and checked and then accepted it.

I've done it without either DA or deed poll, and actually I didn't admit this earlier but I've been married twice and done the whole process twice in exactly the same way.

[StripyBanana]

It does make cross that online info makes it look like you have to pay (as so many posters have).

The info the registry office gave me was similar to the guardian article. I dont remember needing witnesses for simply reverting to maiden name.

[Stupidhead]

I saw my solicitor, it cost £50. He gave me the original document and about 10 photocopies to post off to various places which I'd need when informing them. Absolute piece of piss! Left solicitors and went straight to a tattoo studio to get my maiden initial tattooed on me, yeah I know, classy AS I WOULD NEVER MARRY AGAIN (ok so I will be next year...oops, different guy though).

It was taking ME back.
Oh I also opted for Ms.

[Stupidhead]

Oh and I paid as I didn't want any hassle if there were to be some. I don't or didn't have the balls to do it myself.

[pregnantpause]

Aarrrgghhh! The gps have sent me an acknowledgement of complaint addressed to MRS pregnant MARRIED NAME. Wtf is wrong with them?! If I wasn't waiting on a hospital appt letter I'd have returned it with not known at this address. I'm sure it's intended to piss me off

[Stupidhead]

My gp had me down as MRS maiden name. At my next appointment I asked the gp is she could change it on her computer, she said no prob and I've been Ms thingybob stupidhead ever since. It did make my stomach lurch so I know how you feel!

[NotALondoner]

I cannot comment on reverting to your maiden name as I haven't done that.

BUT IF YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME BY DEED POLL IT IS FREE.

Sorry for shouting but I see all the time on these kind of threads people being charged anything from£10 to £50 for a free service. It is as easy as going to buy some bits and bobs from a supermarket. If you can navigate your way from the bread aisle to the teabags, you are more than capable of using the free service yourself.

I'm not entirely sure why legally qualified people continue to spread this myth that it has to be paid for.

Rant over.

[RedBushedT]

Definitely do NOT need a deed pole. I changed back to my maiden name as my divorce was going through. I just told all companies as I went along. Only issue I had was home insurer wanting to charge me an admin fee, so I cancelled the policy and went elsewhere shrug Got it cheaper too
Deed pole is not required. Not even for HMRC etc. You have a National Insurance number which is linked to your maiden name, just switch it back.
It meant a huge amount to me to be able to revert to MY name. Hope reclaiming it makes you smile as much as it has done for me!