Desparately need my maiden name back - any advice?

[handfulofcottonbuds]

I'm going through a divorce at the moment and for some reason my FWH is dragging his heels and making the process longer than it needs to be!

I don't get it, he is living with OW, has been for almost a year now. Has a beautiful rented house in an elite area and seems to have everything. Yet he is still pleading poverty and delaying any financial resolution and refusing to answer any questions, instead asking more stupid questions such as has my son got special needs! He brought him up for 11 years!! He's playing nasty.

Anyway, all this is setting me back and although I wanted to change back to my maiden name as part of my divorce, I am now desperate to have MY name back now for my own sanity.

Does anyone know how I go about it? My legal bills are through the roof as it is and I just want it done in the simplest way.

Thank you

[NewMe2019]

ZOMBIE fgs.

But for anyone reading now:

YOU DO NOT NEED TO PAY ANYTHING. IT'S FREE ONLINE AND EASY TO GENERATE A DEED POLL.

Also I've found some places were very difficult about it despite my solicitor saying I can just use birth certificate and marriage certificate as I was reverting to the name I was born with. The deed poll was just easier.

[indiaaah]

I did the same thing when I was going through my divorce and I had to contact deed poll. Cost me £45 but money well spent as I felt I had taken back some control! Not complicated to do- look it up online. Can be done In the space of a few weeks x

[itwillgetbettersoon]

I use both names depending on what I'm doing. Never had an issue. I didn't realise that when a female marries you have to make a decision as to which name you want! I still have bank accounts, utilities etc in my maiden name. I've never had a problem. Are we just a possession!

[SeriouslyYouSaidWHAT]

Hi,
Having just found your thread by accident and read the challenges you are having, it sounds very familiar!
I had all sorts of issues, the telephone/broadband company being the most difficult to change, with numerous letters. In the end, I changed provider!
Deed poll is not the only way, but you do have to be firm with people who tell you otherwise.
This is what I learnt the hard way:
For the most important documents changes, such as passport and driving license, you will need a decree absolute.
Do one change at a time, not everything at once.
Ask for your solicitor to do two things:

1. if they can get your intention to revert to your maiden name included on the absolute
   
2. issue copies of your absolute authenticated by the solicitor.
   You can ask for the marriage certificate back from the court, if the ex has not already done so. If this is the case you will have to order a copy of your marriage certificate from the GRO.
   Someone already said this, but get everything with the solicitor to refer to your maiden name.
   Then start by changing the utility bills. Some of them, will change over the phone, when you say the word divorce. Others, I wrote a letter and send authenticated copies of my nisi, which were returned.
   Bank Accounts, I did this with the nisi. I went into the bank with the nisi, utility bills, birth certs and a bill from the solicitor in my maiden name.
   Doctors - there is no reason for them not to change your name to your maiden name. There is a form at the surgery to fill in and sign.
   HMRC - I just rung them up and said. There were no issues.
   Passport - the best way, although it costs extra, is to take all the necessary forms as detailed elsewhere in this thread and on the passport office website to a fast track appointment or to the check and send.
   
   And if anyone said I need to change my name by deed poll, I say "No, I am getting divorced and returning to the name on my birth certificate, not changing my identity. Deed Poll is for changing your name, I am returning to my original and true name."
   Stick to your guns and your maiden name!

[SunshineAndShadows]

It's a ludicrous situation but it seems that companies can refuse to use 'your name' unless you present them with your marriage very and decree absolute.
It seems if you want to regain your maiden name prior to divorce then deed poll may be the only way. Ridiculous.

[handfulofcottonbuds]

They want original documents! At least the DVLA will accept my Decree Nisi and a birth certificate.

I am just coming up against a brick wall for something that should be simple.

Changing my name at my surgery was so simple, just wrote down what i wanted my name to be and they sort it all out.

[KatieKaye]

It depends where you live . In Scotland it is as easy as just reverting back and you do not use deed polls for this.

[skyeskyeskye]

It pisses me off when they ask for the marriage certificate. My solicitor took mine and said I'd never see it again.! I presume you could get a copy but why should you have to pay for it!

My passport is good til 2016 so will revert to maiden name on it then. It just means that you have to remember to book tickets in that name. And of ourselves you ant produce it as ID for your new name.

Pain in the arse.

[handfulofcottonbuds]

I've come up against a brick wall

To change back to my maiden name on my passport, they need all of these documents:

birth certificate - have got this

a signed statement saying you’ve gone back to your maiden name for all purposes - can do this

your decree absolute - I don't have this yet and as my stbxh is delaying the settlement, it may be some time before I get my absolute

a marriage certificate showing both names - I don't have this and am fed up of companies asking for this. I am getting a divorce and when this happens, the court takes your marriage certificate

Sadly, I renewed my passport recently so I still have over 8 years on it before I need to renew but I don't want my married name on there!

Has anyone managed to get over this with their passport?

Why is it so hard to have MY name

[rockpink]

Bloody hell pregnant I can't believe they are being so awful ! Have you heard anything back from them regarding your complaint?

[tribpot]

I'd imagine they'd say it wasn't possible to do that, Rafter - a new patient registration triggers various background processes and checks which are likely to complain if the patient registers at the practice of previous registration on the same day. Plus there's the risk the practice will say 'no, the list is full' or something equally nonsensical, since they seem to be having some kind of war of dogma over the issue!

ITruly - that 'my system is always right' attitude is a real problem, although I wouldn't expect a hospital to be wilfully ignoring a change of address that's appearing on correspondence to them. I would speak to hospital PALS and insist the change of address is processed on the hospital's patient administration system. If necessary put it in writing along with your NHS number.

[Rafterplease]

Can you go to the practice and say, " please de register me,and then five minutes later say, I would like to be registered as a patient at your practice please? Yes, please request my records from my old practice... Which was you...

A farce but one they are forcing you to create

(I would enjoy doing this)

[ITrulyMoustache]

handful I assume you aren't at the nisi stage yet. Most places took my nisi as proof of my first marriage ending and my reversion to maiden name. Though a lot of places didn't understand the entire concept of wanting to revert back and kept insisting on my 'more recent marriage certificate'. It took all I had not to shout back with 'I've not remarried you effing idiots, as Ive explained 17 times I'm reverting back to my maiden name'

pregnant I come across similar issues when I try to explain that despite being married and taking current (that always makes me feel like I have plans to replace him!) DH's surname I am still a Ms. I've had people tell me legally I had to be a Mrs . I tell them quite firmly to find the law that states it and I'll back down, but until then they will refer to me as Ms x.

I also have issues with one of my local hospitals in that whenever I'm referred to one of them they look at my papers and their systems and decide their systems must be right over the newer papers and change my name and address to one from over 4 years ago meaning I miss appts. They just can't understand that possibly they need to update their system.

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

Good idea! It's so frustrating that so many people still believe that changing your name on marriage is a legal requirement, or even a legal change, it's not.

[tribpot]

Ehric - I've been prompted by this thread to write to Rights of Women to see if they would consider writing a leaflet to clarify the actual legal position on this. It seems to me very wrong that people are having to resort to deed poll (in effect creating a new name) merely to revert to a name they have always owned.

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

Good lord. There are a lot of people invested in the patriarchy and determined to insist that women must be branded on marriage!

I secretly hope that threads like this make a couple of women think twice about changing their name. Just keep your name sisters! Life is so much simpler and nobody is confused about whether or not you have the right to use your own bloody name!

[tribpot]

pregnantpause - that is classic. Top marks for passive aggression from your practice.

If the practice get a 'not known at this address' return, they are obliged to de-register you (at least, they are obliged to make efforts to find out your new address before doing so) and might take this opportunity to cast you off the books, which you want to avoid. So best keep your powder dry for now.

[BeforeAndAfter]

Can't you just ask your solicitor to return your marriage certificate or give you several copies? I just changed mine back the day I separated from XH1 and sent a copy of my marriage certificate to anyone who needed it. Most places didn't need to see the certificate back then but nowadays banks etc do need to see government issued ID (passport or driving licence) to process a name change/open an account and if that's in a different name then they'd ask to see other formal documents like a birth certificate or marriage certificate.

Due to the palaver with changing my name back I didn't change my name when I married XH2, which, with hindsight was a good decision!

I have never had to produce a decree absolute for anyone.

[StripyBanana]

Jojo - If you read the thread back a few pages you'll see that you can do it with a statement yourself, you don't need to pay for deed poll.

its a heck of a task - but once the "biggies" )driving license/bank/passport) are done tge rest are a lot easier.

It made a huge difference to me psychologically to have my name back. I felt "free". More so than the divorce paper which came a long time later.

[Jojomo7]

My sister did hers by deed poll, she needed to for Passport, a new mortgage, Driving Licence, credit cards and a million other things.....you may not need to but so many companies want proof of ID today it may just be easier, it was for her.

[handfulofcottonbuds]

Thank you for clarifying it for me. I have emailed my solicitor as a start and asked her to only use 'Miss Handfulofcottonbuds' in any correspondence from now on.

I will make a start on all other companies too.

I feel a bit more normal now I know others on here understand why I need to have my name back.

[RedBushedT]

Definitely do NOT need a deed pole. I changed back to my maiden name as my divorce was going through. I just told all companies as I went along. Only issue I had was home insurer wanting to charge me an admin fee, so I cancelled the policy and went elsewhere shrug Got it cheaper too
Deed pole is not required. Not even for HMRC etc. You have a National Insurance number which is linked to your maiden name, just switch it back.
It meant a huge amount to me to be able to revert to MY name. Hope reclaiming it makes you smile as much as it has done for me!

[NotALondoner]

I cannot comment on reverting to your maiden name as I haven't done that.

BUT IF YOU CHANGE YOUR NAME BY DEED POLL IT IS FREE.

Sorry for shouting but I see all the time on these kind of threads people being charged anything from£10 to £50 for a free service. It is as easy as going to buy some bits and bobs from a supermarket. If you can navigate your way from the bread aisle to the teabags, you are more than capable of using the free service yourself.

I'm not entirely sure why legally qualified people continue to spread this myth that it has to be paid for.

Rant over.

[Stupidhead]

My gp had me down as MRS maiden name. At my next appointment I asked the gp is she could change it on her computer, she said no prob and I've been Ms thingybob stupidhead ever since. It did make my stomach lurch so I know how you feel!