Desparately need my maiden name back - any advice?

[handfulofcottonbuds]

I'm going through a divorce at the moment and for some reason my FWH is dragging his heels and making the process longer than it needs to be!

I don't get it, he is living with OW, has been for almost a year now. Has a beautiful rented house in an elite area and seems to have everything. Yet he is still pleading poverty and delaying any financial resolution and refusing to answer any questions, instead asking more stupid questions such as has my son got special needs! He brought him up for 11 years!! He's playing nasty.

Anyway, all this is setting me back and although I wanted to change back to my maiden name as part of my divorce, I am now desperate to have MY name back now for my own sanity.

Does anyone know how I go about it? My legal bills are through the roof as it is and I just want it done in the simplest way.

Thank you

[EhricLovesTheBhrothers]

Omg pregnantpause please don't pander to this misogynistic, patronising, incorrect bullshit. You do not need to change your name, your name is your fucking name. Your doctor surgery is utterly wrong.

[MsAnthropic]

You do not need to use deed poll. And if you do decide to do it via deed poll, you can do it for free.

I changed my passport and drivers license first, then bank then everything else and this was without being divorced or having any lawyer's letters etc.

[handfulofcottonbuds]

How did you do that MsAnthropic?

[FryOneFatManic]

insist that my marriage certificate was legally binding and as I'm married I have to have his name, they can't change it without deed poll

This is not true. You do not legally have to take your husbands name on marriage, they are talking bullshit.

And deed polls are free, just google the direct.gov website, it'll tell you all you need to know and has a link to the free form to download and use.

[MsAnthropic]

handfulofcottonbuds For the driver's license, you just fill in the form and give them your marriage certificate. It was very quick and they post the certificate back. For my passport, I applied for new passport and provided my marriage certificate and a letter saying I would be using my maiden name. For my bank, I went in with my marriage certificate and new passport plus driver's license. They were the only ones who were a bit perplexed and said "But you need to be divorced" and I said "No, you really don't and my passport and driver's license are changed, so best you do" and they sucked in their breath for about 3 minutes, and did it. Everyone/everything else, like HMRC, council tax, utilities, everything, I just wrote and informed them I was reverting and gave them copies of my passport/driver's license.

You never lose your name, it's yours to use whenever you want. Banks may complain slightly, but they're wrong to and you just insist they're incorrect legally (which they are). I didn't have to, but I'd just threaten to go open a new account at a different bank with all my correct and official ID.

[mum786]

I'm going through the same. How long will it take for my Passport to get back to me? (going abroad for Xmas holidays)

[OxfordBags]

OP, when someone changes their name upon marriage, it is only ever an assumed name (which is perfectly legal, like Maurice Micklewhite using Michael Caine as his stage name). Your name is actually always your maiden name, unless you actually change it by deed poll to your married name. You can just start using it again. Anyone who tells you that you need to change it by deed poll, or that you legally changed it upon marriage, is misinformed. Changing your name upon marriage is purely a choice.

[tribpot]

pregnantpause you need to make a formal complaint. That is utter bollocks. Beyond proving eligibility for care in the NHS (i.e. that the practice should register you) there are no identity requirement on patients at all.

Please write to the practice manager, sending a copy to the CCG, and demand they change your name. End of.

[pregnantpause]

Sorry I've hijacked the thread, but thanks everyone. I went back in today again armed with documentary evidence and spoke to them again including practice manager.

They are refusing, saying it's not that simple and they need a solicitors letter or deed poll. I've written a letter of complaint and asked for their complaints handling procedure. Hopefully they'll see sense.

[tribpot]

Have they quoted any kind of law, policy, standard or statute that requires them not to honour what is already legally your name, pregnantpause?

They actually register patients on behalf of the CCG, so I would have a word with PALS at the CCG (if this is all conducted on Twitter, btw, you may get a startlingly quick response to your query).

[Justatoe]

I feel exactly as you and cannot hang onto my married name any longer while the tw*t prevaricates.
I have changed back to my maiden name for general use, but my bank requires Decre Absolute or official solicitors documentation (about £80). They say Internet form not sufficient. .as I work them too I am just keeping my married name for work & official stuff.

[pregnantpause]

Trib- I'm in Wales so I don't think we have a ccg- I've googled and tried nhs wales online. But no, no law quoted just refusal, reiteration that I need different proof ( deed poll solicitors letter) and it's my legal name so "not that simple" - it's all very embarrassing and conducted in front if the surgery with refusal to go elsewhere to discuss. They have even said I can deregister if I'm unhappy with the policy. And it is they. Within two minutes of my arriving today, explaining what I wanted to receptionist- she said no but stayed out , the practice manager cane over , the receptionist from last time came over to put her two pence worth in, so I was stood with a growing queue and rather excited audience trying to convince these people through a glass barrier that my name is my name I've included this unprofessional attitude in my complaint letter. Wish me luck

[tribpot]

No you have a Local Health Board instead. Same kinda deal.

Cannot believe they refused to move away from the front desk to discuss that - staggeringly unprofessional.

What would happen if you did de-register, and then re-registered some time (say a month) later? They would ask for proof of ID and - voila. You have passport, driver's license, etc, all in the right name.

[BranchingOut]

Has anyone changed to a completely different name, not reverting back to their maiden name?

[pregnantpause]

Great! Found my health board. According to their website I need to raise my concerns with doctors first, once I feel they've failed I approach the health board.

I asked- I could register in my name. But I'm in the doctors regularly due to ongoing serious health problems so don't want to be forced to do this.

Again, I mentioned how ridiculous this fact is in my complaint letter. They are just awful, and obviously think they are right and I'm an idiot. We'll see. I won't let this go now, I'm not paying or even printing a deed poll to prove my name is my name. Mn is great for making one feel anger at life's injustices

[tribpot]

Right so they've actually admitted that if you were a new patient you have sufficient evidence of your identity that they would accept your maiden name as legally valid. What a bunch of utter muppets.

Are you under the care of the hospital? If so, can you ask them to update their record of your name? That will really nark off the practice.

[StripyBanana]

You DONT need to pay or use a deed poll.

I changed everything before we were divorces. However this is only the vase for a maiden name as its still yours, not for a completely new one.

I initially emailed the registry office where I was living and they were unbelievably helpful. They gave me a statement to use. Basically something along the lines of "I am revertig to my maoden name xyz fir all future use and will no longer use or be known as abc" but obviously check it first!!

I then changed driving license and paid to chamge passpoet. With those 2 done I had sufficient id along with my statemr to change everything else. Online statements are just a money spinner.


Completely recommend you contact local registry office. You may find you need a copy of your marriage cert.

[StripyBanana]

I just told he various hospitals I saw my name had changd amd the receptionist chamged it!! Or the consultant on the letter...

they sometimes used old address labels but all was ok.

[Hippychickster]

I think you can just be known as your maiden name again. I did it by deed poll as I wanted it official and I think it cost £40 but I don't think its legally necessary

[PurpleWithRed]

Deed poll. Dirt cheap and I changed everything with it. Get a couple of certified copies when you order it.

Took me 6 years to get divorced btw.

[StripyBanana]

Goodlord apologies for typos. Jist was -no you don't need a deed poll as you cN make an official statement that you are reverting back to.maiden name.

However I fully recommend you contact your local registry office for further (free) advice. Lots of online "advice" comes with a service selling you what you can do for free!

[Oldraver]

Your legal name is you maiden name, your married name is just a courtesy.

I reverted to my maiden name and just informed different people starting with my bank. They did want to see my marriage certificate as it 'connects' the two names. I would just go and get a copy of your MC.

Pregnant your GP's are wrong you have to have his name. What century are they living in.

OP I had a few people questioning me as to why I was changing my name which is nothing to do with them. People seem to have allsorts of odd ideas about taking your married name. It was Sky that kicked up the most fuss and demanded my non existant Decree whatever...it ended up with their person saying "well how do we know you are telling us the truth"..I cancelled there and then