Am I a trouble causer ?

[sadsally99]

Hello to all, just looking for a bit of reassurance that I'm not going daft.
My husband thinks its ok to go to the gym for 3 hours a day, does nothing at all at home and I mean nothing. He spends his time at home on his fone or laptop. He is arrogant, and when hes had a drink threatening.
He ignores our child 9 times out of 10 when he asks his dad a question, when I mention this he says hes busy with work, but hes really busy with his virtual life.
Yesterday we got back from a weeks holiday. He started drinking in the airport going and drank solidly for 12 hours each day. Two of the days he went off on his own to watch football in a bar and came back drunk. He did nothing with us on holiday just laid on the sunbed tanning himself and drinking. His idea of a holiday.
He does work hard at work but works harder at pleasing himself. In the airport coming home I felt a little unwell and said I need the loo, he said "go on then, do one". I had to take two heavy suitcases and my child into the toilet with me. I'm afraid I lost my cool and acused him of being uncaring, his response was to spit in my face ! and called me a scumbag.
Does anyone think I deserved this.
Kind answers only please feeling very hurt and tearful.
Thank you for reading.

[BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted]

His attitude and his behaviour will never change. Because he's a self-centred and abusive arsehole. Wishing and hoping for something different will change nothing. You stand up for yourself and demand his respect, and what you may get in return might be far worse than being spat at.

His attitude and his behaviour will never change.

Now, if you want to give him another twenty years of your precious life, just sit there and continue as you have done for the last twenty.

His attitude and his behaviour will never change.

[LuluJakey1]

I have been think g about him spitting in your face and how truly disgusting that is. Did he do this in the airport in front of people? If so did no one help?

How on earth can he just return to his normal behaviour?

And what on earth are you doing laughing and joking with him?

If you intend to just continue to put up with this behaviour, stop complaining about it. Why would he behave any differently when he just continues with his disgusting, selfish, arrogant, bullying behaviour and gets away with it?

The solution is in your hands. Don't accept it. If you keep accepting it, he will keep doing it. It is who he is. Why are you staying with him? It does not matter how nice he can be- it is only if it suits him. Your life is on his terms and you see what happens when it doesn't suit him.

[Vitalstatistix]

I want cream cakes to be an aid to weight loss and to shit diamonds.

You will waste your life wishing for things to be how you want them to be.

Someone who can spit in your face is never EVER EVER going to love, cherish and be interested in you. You can stay until the day you die, hoping he'll have a personality transplant one day and love you, but it will be a sad lonely life.

You deserve better. You honestly do. I wish that you had the confidence to see that you are worth so much more than to be treated like this.

[crazylady321]

He sounds like my friends DH who spit at her for not stopping the baby crying, I will say to you what ive said to her. Get out now!! Why are you with him? Unfortunately she hasnt listened to me and is now pregnant again but she likes the money he brings home. Hopefully you will take a bit of notice.

Good luck x

[Abilly72]

Plan carefully,gather all the essential documents for you and your child,
enlist the aid of family and friends and- last thing- empty the joint bank account-see a solicitor -another dangerous man whose violence will get worse

[cheapskatemum]

Can I just add to all that others have said, that he says "you will be punished..." to his DW. This is a threat. Police will (or should, if there's any justice in the world) take this seriously. It's despicable, who does he think he is? He does not have the right to punish you, whatever he says.

[captainmummy]

Op, it's abuse. Phone women's aid, right now. Today.
You may feel you 'love'him, but honestly, just that he is goodlooking is not enough. He is vile on the inside. You can get away. You can be happy. You do not need this waste of space.
Vile, vile, vile man.