Talk to me about kissing

[Summerbreezer]

Ok, so it has been a fairly long time since I kissed someone so I may not be down with the current trends.

I met up at the weekend with a guy I really like. The date was nice, we had fun. Then he went in for the kiss and it was horrible! Firstly, the tongue went straight in on full spin cycle mode. I require warming up a bit, like a frozen microwave meal. I thought we would do no tongue for a bit, then bit of tongue, not full-on Hotpoint right from the starter's gun.

So I suppose my first question is - is this normal? Is he a bad kisser, or is that just par for the course these days? Second question - how do I get him to stop without making him feel awkward or uncomfortable?

I know that this makes me sound like I am 13 - I am actually in my 20's. Any help appreciated!

Not normal and yes, he is just a bad kisser.

As for tackling it...hmmm...not sure how to do that. I'd say lead by example, but if the tongue is lolling around it may not be that easy to show him how it should be done. Tricky.

Shame because I love a good snog and would feel cheated by a bad kisser.

Bad kissers are born that way, nature not nurture.

In films now people always kiss the other persons bottom lip, even when they are portraying previous generations. This simply did not happen years ago.

Not normal and sounds gross

My sis was cured of a long standing crush recently when she finally got to kiss him. Some men are clueless.

I had this when I was in my late-ish teens. Had fantasised about kissing him for the first time. It was a real let down. I even tried to speak to him about it! Just to say slow down a little and build up gradually. Went in one ear and out the other.

It's so disappointing to discover someone you really fancy is a terrible kisser.

The last few guys I've been out with have been terrible kissers - it was all pointy stabby lizard tongue. There was also one guy who used to lurch at me with his tongue already out.

In all instances I just couldn't figure out a way to address it without hurting their feelings. I mean really, how have these men got to their mid/late 30s/early 40s and haven't a clue how to kiss well. Haven't their other girlfriends ever said anything? Obviously not. I sometimes wonder if this is why all of them are still single.

Some will call me shallow but their being terrible kissers definitely contributed to why I rapidly lost interest.

Yep he was a BAD kisser!

I met and snogged a really good one a few years ago and the memory still stays with me - [swoon]

Ok I assume you know what you like - try telling him in the "I really find x,y,z a real turn on could we try it" sort of conversation.

Being a terrible kisser is definitely a turn off but if he is great in other ways try teaching him.

How do you kiss without tongues tho? !

Keep it in your own mouth Spartacus!

Some people are really horrible kissers. A kiss can be really sexy without even using tongues too much IMO.

he's a bad kisser but maybe no-one's told him otherwise? If you like him could you point him in the right direction, as it were?

Bad kisser is a real deal breaker for me. How you teach them to be better tho? I don't know if you can. They must already think they are ok if that's what they're doing.

Ime some men don't take kindly to being criticised on their
'Technique'...

I had this a few years ago I told him to put his tongue away I'm not that kind of girl! He turned out to be a fab kisser, he was just a bit inexperienced

There are many men out there who are crap kissers.
I had one ex who came at me with his mouth open....total turn off, he didn't last long.

'Came at me with his mouth open' ewwww. This thread has made me laugh though!

He sounds clumsy and awkward.
I only seem to do tongue thing when "other activities" are taking place at the same time.
I think French kissing in public is a bit vulgar really.

I was a crap kisser - I started dating XH as a teenager so we always kissed like teenagers - first partner for both of us.

It wasn't till I started seeing DH that he told me what he like, take it a bit slower, let's do this - that kind of thing. Now I like to think I'm a pretty damned good kisser

Of course, he could have just dumped me because I was a crap kisser .

They get to middle age as bad kissers because kissing is all relative.

What might be horrible to you is some other woman's dream - even if, after experiencing it, you couldn't possibly imagine how any human on the planet could like it.

I'm of the opinion that bad kissers can be sorted. The more you kiss, the more you'll adapt to each others styles.

I'm always self concious about kissing thinking I'm doing it wrong, how do you know?!

Ginger, unless you're doing something awful - like licking his face - there is no wrong way to kiss.

If your partner likes it, you're doing a good job.

OMFG.I'd have vommed.DH kissed like this when we first got together.It was first relationship for both of us.I just had to say it straight 'I fancy you like mad but I can't let that happen again as it made me nauseus so can you read a book or ask your sister or something please' I was a stroppy 15 year old at the time.He sulked for a while but the next time it happened it was lovely.And it's been lovely for the last 45 years.Never did ask him what he did,it somehow keeps the air of mystery.:)

Oh noooo! I also had one who'd come at me with the tongue already poking out. Eurrrrgh. Does anyone actually like that?

Yes, you have had a run in with a rotten snogger. Chalk him up, unless you think he can be re-trained!

Thank you floop

Maybe some people like washing machine stuff? I kissed someone recently and it was like one of those nibbling fish, fucking gross! He wanted to see me again but I had to say no...

Bite.

I think this is what you want to be aiming for

Sorry, I'll get my coat (fans self on way out)