Talk to me about kissing

[Summerbreezer]

Ok, so it has been a fairly long time since I kissed someone so I may not be down with the current trends.

I met up at the weekend with a guy I really like. The date was nice, we had fun. Then he went in for the kiss and it was horrible! Firstly, the tongue went straight in on full spin cycle mode. I require warming up a bit, like a frozen microwave meal. I thought we would do no tongue for a bit, then bit of tongue, not full-on Hotpoint right from the starter's gun.

So I suppose my first question is - is this normal? Is he a bad kisser, or is that just par for the course these days? Second question - how do I get him to stop without making him feel awkward or uncomfortable?

I know that this makes me sound like I am 13 - I am actually in my 20's. Any help appreciated!

And this is what you want to avoid!

Eughhhh- the kissing in Floop's link!!!!

There's only one thing you can do : next time he moves in, give him a glance through your lashes and say 'let me show you how I like to be kissed '. Demonstrate. If he can't pick it up after that elephantine hint, dump him.

That wasn't a kiss the groom was trying to eat the bride yuk

I had this years ago with a guy who was about 40. Nothing much that I said (including "UGH") seemed to help.

I wasn't that fussed on my now DP til we had our first kiss. It was so perfect I did love him forever more.

Now if that kiss was crap I really wouldn't have bothered seeing him again. Shit snogs = deal breaker.

Ahhhhhh!!! That is horrible!

What a dilemma, although we are now a bit like neiljames77 TBH....!

Thanks all, nice to know I am not going mad.

I spent the first half of the kiss wondering if this was like a ride at Alton Towers - fun when you are younger, but when you go back to it after a break you wonder what all the fuss was about.

I spent the second half of the kiss wondering why the hell his ex girlfriends (including an ex fiance!) didn't bother to say anything. Some girls are prepared to put up with way too much crap.

Obviously I had lots of thinking time - not much to do when you tongue is being treated like a mini roundabout.

Anyway, I am not prepared to put up with that. However, I do really like him. We have been friends for years so although this was a first date, it wasn't a real first date, if you see what I mean.

Also, I think his incompetency comes from a place of ineptitude rather than a deliberate disregard for my feelings. Therefore I shall try to re-educate him.

But this has definitely made me question our compatibility. And I really don't want to be coming back on here with similar issues when we have sex...

Definitely give him a masterclass! I did this once when I was younger (although he was older than me). He was a washing machine kisser too, but he did improve. His subsequent girlfriends/wife have ME to thank.

Years ago I ended up with a bit of cabbage in my mouth after one particularly awful kiss. He had been eating a kebab, I hadn't.

No, you're right, you've got to build up to tongues, not just poke it in straight away, that's gross, especially when you don't know the person.

Mind you, I went out with someone once who had a phobia of tongues and it was literally just dry rubbing faces. So I think there's hope for you.

!

The kiss in the virgin link is hysterical. Talk about chomping your way through someone's mush. Ewwww. Can't understand the waiting at all.

It is funny - but I fear we probably looked a bit like that! Oh the shame.

He's just a bad kisser. Urgh!

I think it's one thing to have a not-so-great first kiss on a date and quite another to do it in full view of family and friends AND a video on your wedding day

Try not to be put off. Different people like different things.

My boyfriend before DH - the first time we kissed was awful. I kind of had to 'train' him subtly and it wasn't long at all until it kind of blended together better.

It turns out that's how his ex liked it yuk

Try not to be put off. Different people like different things.

My boyfriend before DH - the first time we kissed was awful. I kind of had to 'train' him subtly and it wasn't long at all until it kind of blended together better.

It turns out that's how his ex liked it yuk

in one ear & out the other upthread ^^ fnerkk!

DH was a bit too tonguey to start with but soon had him trained

You see, when I get a bit frisky, that's when I like tongues to be involved. However, a nice smoochy kiss is most romantic. Definitely reeducate him.

It turns out that's how his ex liked it

Nail on the head, Bub.

I doubt he's kissing that badly. He's just kissing the way his last ex liked. Obviously you and her have different kissing styles.

Thank god styles can change and technique can adapt.

WildBill - Years ago I ended up with a bit of cabbage in my mouth after one particularly awful kiss. He had been eating a kebab, I hadn't.

Yuk!!

I think it's just as bad when a man kisses like his tongue is a tortoise head and you end up wondering why he's just poking it out a tiny bit then popping it back in again.

I would tell this guy just to slow down and you take the lead.

I've had sloppy slobbery kissers ( yuk) but the worst one was a beautiful looking man, 13 years younger than me who never used his tongue and just gave me chaste little pecks. Soooo frustrating!

I have also had a washing machine kisser. He was nice in many ways, but when he leaned in, stuck his tongue out and rotated it all over my face, his slobber extinguished any spark I felt for him.

I did wonder how his ex girlfriend coped with it for 12 years.

Looks like there are lots of bad kissing techniques out there! The OU should do a course or something.

Tortoise head!!!

I have just remembered one I'd blocked out. He had clearly had a tongue transplant at some point, for no human male could have one that thick, it was honestly like a cow's tongue. And he just sort of...laid it in my mouth like a dead cuttlefish, blocking most of my airway until I had to choke make an excuse and pull away. Brrrr.