I have been with dp for a year. I have 2 dcs from my marriage, he has 3 dcs. I am pregnant with our first together, due in December. I knew dp years ago when I was growing up, we lived in the same town but he was 9 years older than me. We went on one date about 12 years ago but then met and married other people. We got together last year after both of our marriages ended.
My relationship with my mum has never been great. She drank a lot when my brother and I were young. My dad worked nights and she was out most nights in the pub while he was working. She's a toxic narcissistic person and I don't have much to do with her although we live about 5 mins apart.
Last week my dp sat me down and told me that about 18 years ago he slept with my mother. (I'd have been a young teen, he was early 20s, she was in her 40s). Apparently they were out drinking one night...you know the rest. He told me because he got a text from an anonymous number saying that the sender knew it had happened and would tell me if my dp didn't tell me first. Apparently he discussed it with my mother who told him to lie about it, but he refused saying he wanted to be honest with me.
Since then my head has been all over the place. I'm trying to keep my relationship with dp normal for the sake of the kids and because I do love him but I'm having real trouble being intimate with him. I just cant do it. I haven't spoken to my mother. She knows dp told me...she went mental at him and said he should have lied to me. This happened a week ago and she has not once lifted the phone to speak to me.
I hate her for cheating on my dad...he's such a good guy and deserves so much better than her. Apparently my dp wasn't the only guy she was with over the years. I don't want anything to do with her right now but don't know how to maintain a relationship with my dad apart from her without him knowing something is wrong.
I feel so confused. Its been a buy week anyway, I haven't had a minute to myself to think...now dps kids are arriving today for the week and all I want to do is pack a bag and go away by myself for a couple of days to figure out how I feel. I feel so hurt that they both lied to me for so long. Dp only told me because he was being blackmailed and my mum had no intention of ever telling me. I feel like an idiot.
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Relationships
My dp and my mother...am I overreacting?
xmasbaby2014 · 29/07/2014 10:16
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