To have discovered my husband openly lying to me

[Lottiegal]

I accidentally opened a letter to my husband as I thought it said Mrs not Mr. It reported my husband had received a great review at work and he was to get a bonus and pay rise backdated. I felt bad and thought he'd probably want to tell me himself later at night so I sealed it up. When he got home I handed him his post and casually said 'this one looks important'. He opened it in front of me and said 'oh it's nothing just pension rubbish'. I feel cheated as I'm a sahm and we have separate accounts, he gives me an allowance towards the house. I can't tell him I know as he'll know I opened his post. If I say it was by mistake he may think I'm lying. Don't know what to do?

Just stop claiming it!! It's madness to have it just to lose it

The state pension/ni contributions are not driven by the claiming of cb anymore. Speak to the cb office and they will explain

Just wanted to re-iterate I am intending to return to work when my youngest goes to school in a years time and I'm preparing for this now.

Also I don't want a bigger house, I wanted to move to an area with safer schools as the local junior school has recently gone into special measures again. It's been up and down over the past few years and I was hoping it would improve before sending my son there next year. The Ofsted said the teaching is poor and especially fails children at the top and bottom if the spectrum. My son is mildly autistic and very bright but needs a firm structure so a good school is important for him.

I will suggest a pension to my husband.

Perhaps I'm coming a little too late to this discussion, but I wouldn't necessarily want to get into a tense discussion about money, promotion and change the second I got an important letter. I might well mumble something about it not being important and then pick my moment another time. I know my husband does the same. I would be worried if it wasn't mentioned within a week, but not immediately. This might be because there are tensions about money and the future in our household though, and so it isn't something I'd just blurt out, I'd wait perhaps til an opportune moment or when I thought my husband looked interested (as opposed to busy) and then mention it.

Just looked online:

'You may get National Insurance credits if you can’t work - eg because of illness or disability, you’re a carer or if you’re unemployed.

For example if you:
claim Child Benefit for a child under 12 (or under 16 before 2010)'

If you're a SAHM, how else do you get credits if you don't claim CB?

You still can have the credit towards your ni as a cb claimant who isn't entitled to the money. Speak to the cb office, it's very straightforward and easier than paying the money back.

You claim the CB but the tick the box on the form stating that you don't want to receive the cash. That way you get the NI contributions but don't receive the cash and thus don't have to pay it back.

Ah.

Thank you.