Please help womens aid or the police

[jellybellybo]

I have NC for this as I dont want my friend to know I am posting this on her behalf

She is in a very abusive relationship, he's controlling she's not allowed friends and its got so bad that he wont let her have a lock on the toilet

She's just rung me petrified, hes just destroyed the shopping with a pair of scissors she's hiding upstairs with her dog and he's gone out

She's ringing me to say that she would never commit suicide she just wants me to know that and if she dials my number but doesn't talk Im to call the police for her

I'm of a mind to do it now except for the fact that he hurt her badly last year and her friend called the police but they let him off with a caution

Unfortunately the legal position is that its his house too and he was allowed to return to the property

Don't know what to do now i've tried to give her womens aid number but she is frightened to write anything down in case he finds it

Ive just about convinced her to keep her mobile tucked under the edge of the bed so she can get to it, he insists on it being turned off at night and she isnt allowed a phone in the bedroom

Good luck Jelly. What a horrible situation. You're doing the right thing for your friend.

You're doing he right thing.

You're doing the right thing, you're right, this can't go on.

Say the word 'domestic' on the phone. It makes it a high priority. The police told me that.

I would have to call the police. Sounds like she is in a very dangerous position

Sorry X post. Good luck.Hopefully the police will take this seriously and take him as far away as possible!

Please keep us updated x

good luck jelly, for both of you. you are doing the right thing

Feel awful that her confidence has been betrayed but she doesnt deserve this at all

Without being dramatic this could be a life or death situation.

I think she is crying out for your help but she is terrified.

When someone contacts you with that kind of information they want you to act. You have not made things worse and you may have saved her from becoming another fatality

Jelly, you did the right thing. You know this deep down too & she too will thank you one day.

What's happening now? Are the police there? x

You've done the right thing.

I cant see anything from here and I don't want to go out but it sounds quiet at the moment

Jelly turn this on its head, how would you have felt if she was hurt or worse and you'd done nothing? You did the right thing. Well done as I know it wasn't easy for you. She is scared and confused and cried out for your help. She is probably too scared of her OH and fears phoning the police or directly asking you to, because then in her mind she can say to him that she didn't do it iyswim, but wants someone else to do it and you have.

Well done and I hope she is safe and can escape him

Big supportive hugs to you too, Jelly. You have done the right thing.

I hope she's safe

You did the right thing Jelly, I also think she is crying out for help
No one should have to live like this, it's so sad, I hope the police go there and she gets away from this controlling bully.

Sometimes the right thing is hard. Well done you. I would have done exactly the same thing. You're acting in her best interests

I hope she is ok

Free not sure why the sceptical face about 'crying out for help'?

I do not have any more advice to add to excellent advice already given. I know the police are very often slated in DV cases, however, it is often very difficult for them to prosecute a man if the woman totally refuses to prosecute, and I fully understand the very complex reasons why women do this. I cannot praise the police enough in their action/treatment of my daughter in her recent horrific DV experience. She too refused, yet again, to prosecute but after the 5th assault they overrode her and prosecuted the guy anyway and he ended up with a prison sentence.
It's a nightmare situation. These relationships seem incredible easy to start but frequently, virtually impossible to end.

Any news OP? Do you know if she's ok?

I hope the neighbour is ok.
I'm so glad your helping her op.

Thorn the mumsnet app apparently mixes up sceptical and sad faces. It's a real problem because it really changes the tone of what people are saying.

OP, please let us know she's ok and you're ok. She can go to a refuge and get rehoused, the legal stuff with her house can be sorted out later. She needs to accept that house isn't her home anymore, even if she could legally get him out she won't be safe there. Men like that don't listen to injunctions and it only takes one time for him to break in or be waiting in the shadows. She needs to get away, and somewhere he can't find her.

Thorn it's not a sceptical face, it's sad face like this maybe it's because I'm on the app? I can only see a sad face.