DP's spooning at night drives me up the wall!

[pavilionredsquare]

Have had quite a big row with my DP this morning because of his "need" to snuggle and spoon either when I'm just about to drift off to sleep or whilst I am asleep drives me absolutely mad!

I quite like having a cuddle in bed before falling asleep but I can't fall asleep while "attached" to someone else ifywim. So I'll cuddle with DP, then announce that I want to go to sleep, turn over etc.

He on the other hand, loves falling asleep in each other's arms. Quite often after I've turned over having told him I am going to sleep he will start spooning me and it is really doing my head in. I get so grumpy when I'm tired and just can't sleep if he is cuddling me.

Last night he kept trying to cuddle me and I got quite cross as I was shattered and just wanted to sleep. He got all offended and said that had never met anyone with such an aversion to cuddling. I had also woken up in the middle of the night with him cuddling and also talking to me which he denied when I told him this morning.

In every other respect we have a good relationship. There is no lack of affection -we hold hands, massage each other's feet in front of the tv, kiss, cuddle, sex life is good.

AIBU?

Hillyholbrook, I love it:

Oh I didn't see he stropped off because you won't let him paw you all night long. Definitely kill him. With suffocation, so he knows how you feel.

It will surely stand up in court as mitigation.

I agree, YANBU. I was quite relieved when I read that you do not live with him. There is a boundary to keep!

He is not respecting your boundaries. Calling you names, telling you that you are weird, is just immature.

Splendidpup (18:03) has an excellent protocol for making it clear to him that you are not going to be manipulated into giving up a fundamental need for sleep. I would tell him he can attach any ultimatum to it he likes, your position is non-negotiable.

He is expecting you to cater to him throughout the night at the expense of your own rest. When, then, are you supposed to rest? He, perhaps, might feel that is your problem, not his. This is treating you as an object, not a person.

Sleep is so important. Imho, this would be a deal breaker.

I hate being cuddled to sleep. DH would like to but accepts I cannot fall asleep like this so we do cuddles before sleeping.