Things you would love to say to crappy BIL/SIL but can't really get away with just yet

[LittleMissRayofHope]

Ok, so as the title says, things you would love to say to siblings partners but you can't really fat away with.

My sis is living with a total knobhead. He's 25 and has his first mortgage and a good job, Italian (so clearly far far superior to us, better looking nice skin etc) he is incredibly metrosexual and doesn't have any involvement with us cos he can't be bothered.
He is also obsessed with the size of his cock and tells my sis (on a daily basis) how huge he is and how lucky she is and how she'll never see a bigger cock then his.

I would love to tell them that:
A) buying a house because you were left a huge inheritance does not put you in a position to dole out financial advice to everyone around you cos 'I'm so successful and so young'
B) I couldn't give a shit what country he comes from but if England is so rubbish would he please fuck off back to Italy!
C) just because you don't get a blow job at the end of every meal you cook does not mean she doesn't love/care for you!
And
d) he really should stop obsessing over how HUGE his 8inch cock is as everyone can tell seeing as it is stuck to his equally huge forehead!!

Ahhh that feels better... She is planning to leave as she has finally seen through him and realised how desperate, immature, needy, controlling he is. Thank god!

Feel free to share the unsayable things you would LOVE to say!

I don't say the following because it is, after all, my choice to live 200 miles from my ailing and elderly parents. But SIL (and DB) .... even though you have young children and a busy life, would it really have been a stretch for you to drive five miles and call in on them last week when they were having a bit of a crisis? They've helped you both out so much over the years - not least stumping up a large amount of cash to help you get that new house you're so proud of ... where were you when they needed a bit of help?

BIL

I wish you would take some responsibility for your own actions rather than blame everyone else like your parents and your brother for your own ills.

How do you think I felt that day at the dentist when I was asked a lot of questions about you from someone who thought that what you had said gave that person cause for suspicion?. I did not protect you, I told that person that it was all lies and fantasy in your own head. And do not get me started on the stuffed toy that you now keep elsewhere following my complaint to MIL.

You've cut us out for a number of years now and for that I am grateful given the fact that you are a narcissist and I often state on here that is not possible to have any sort of a relationship with them. I would have advised DH not to even approach you at that party but he did not tell me in advance what he was going to do. You hurt him badly by rejecting his overtures as well and I detest you for doing that to him. You are not worthy to even lace your brother's shoes. Your parents are weak and divided and you use that against them as well. I realise its also their fault, its not just you who is to blame for you being the ways you are here.

You are nothing but a parasite and a user of people, you probably think their house will be left to you in the event they will have nursing care. You will likely disappear never to be seen again.

bil & sil you two faced back stabbing, brown nosing bastards.

That covers it.

No!

Sorry Dad, BIL/SIL, SIL

Just that, No (and I'll do the fuck off thing if you push me)

Stop playing the martyr and spouting on fb that you're never invited anywhere. I fucking invite you to everything and you never reply. Your boyfriend is a dick and om I'm so tired of seeing you argue on the Internet. Your mother has no obligation to babysit for you and neither does anyone else. We aren't going to offer so damn well ask. Oh and my reply will always be no since you asked me to go to your antenatal classes then didn't speak to me after the baby was born.

FFS bil get your head out of your phone for long enough to grunt a greeting at least. that's when we call to their house AND when he calls to us!

Dear BILs and SIL, I don't really mind at all that we have MIL and your disabled brother round for Christmas every single year. Genuinely. We have quite a laugh. But I do find it odd that not once in 20 years have any of you at least offered them to come to you. Not even just for one year!

We know what has been said behind our backs.

DB & SIL,
The sh1t is about to hit the fan, run, hide, keep your heads down till we see you in a few weeks, Love you.

(d)B and person who never became SIL,
I'm sorry it hasn't worked out for you but you are both needy, immature and incapable of standing on your own 2 feet. Please please at the end of all this don't F up my DNs life.

Puppy not that I know your family dynamics, but we had a similar situation in our own family. It turned out that Aunt was genuinely afraid of treading on toes around Xmas traditions and didn't want to cast nasturtiums on my mum's set up.

Was a major shock to my mum to find this out after 17 years. Just thought I'd mention it as situations so similar

I must be very lucky. My bil is brilliant.

Puppy similar to 7days, we've invited mil every year since we've lived together (almost 20 years) and she never comes because she thinks "mothers should be with their daughters at Christmas". But sil could probably have written your post !

Mine is, sil - we all know no one works as hard as you, nobody has as many commitments as you and none of us are as organised as you. We know this because you tell us all repeatedly. But eventually you may find that no one is as lonely as you. Please wind your neck in before the bridges are burnt beyond repair.

SIL, you are vile.

Dear STB-Ex-SIL, You are an evil bitch who used my DBIL and then dropped him; which he didn't deserve. I hope you get your comeuppance soon.

SIL - DB's wife - you are scum of the earth. Really. Please try not to fuck up my DNs though we are all worried about how you treat them. You are a racist, lying, scheming, greedy, twisted bitch. DB knows he was a fool to marry you but it would break him to lose his children seeing as you keep threatening to move abroad if he leaves you.

BILs - both DH brothers. Please stop pretending that FIL didn't beat the shit out of MIL. DH was there and he knows it happened. He just doesn't care about inheriting and so he is free to tell the truth.

SIL and BIL- stop snogging/groping each other at family lunches. We know you love each other. Especially, BIL- get your hand out of SIL's pants. It kind of grosses us all out.

And no, you're not always right. Either of you.

Oh and BIL? It's really bad table manners to wipe your finger around every serving dish at the end of the meal. If you're still hungry, MIL will produce something more for you to eat in a matter of minutes, if not seconds.

SIL I am really pleased for you that you managed to get mil to buy you a house 2 doors away from her because you handled the fact that you couldn't cope with one child ( who by the way is only a spoiled brat because you made her that way) by having another one you also couldn't cope with just 1 year later.
I do hope however that you feel slightly guilty that FIL, who does all your DIY because your DH is nice but quite useless, collapsed with a burst bowel and was literally minutes from death but no body noticed because mil was looking after your 3 year old who is no trouble at all while his sister ( who is a pain in the arse) was at preschool so you could have a lie down for no reason whatsoever other than the fact that you are bone fucking idle!!
God that felt good.

(We have on occasion tried just not saying anything to see if the others will step in, perhaps, just on the off chance, but usually DP checks with MIL a few days before Xmas, finds out she's had no other invitations and of course invites her to us as we like having them both) .

Bil - its fucking disgusting your burp so loudly after a meal. And you never apologise. Why did your mother raise you with such bad manners? If I was your mother I would have slapped you some. Please don't sit in front of my face burping when you do know better. Your poor girlfriend.

SIL - nice to know that the reason you stopped my DB from visiting my poorly Nan in hospital to drop off much needed nightwear was because you had a surprise birthday meal planned. In your house. That you could've kept warm for half a hour. Cuntchops.

No good, I still want to do something childish to her.

B and sil: the world does not revolve around drink. (Not alcoholics). Stop giving the poor mouth. Save your money & go on a holiday instead of endless nights out; paying a crèche instead of a more economical childminder; letting your 12 yr old come home every day to an empty house (a childminder would solve this also). Notice your children & discipline them properly instead of ruining every family occasion with drama.

BIL & SIL,

Please stop telling us that you don't have enough money/time to come and visit. You seem to have plenty of time and money for nights out, foreign holidays, and Glastonbury. If these are your priorities, then that is your choice, but at least do us the courtesy of telling the truth. And don't be surprised when you realise that we have stopped visiting you.

BIL - no I do not want to shag you behind your wife and brothers back......

BIL. I think you're controlling. I know you do sweet FA with the DC or the housework. I worry.
SIL Call your brother. Just fucking call him. You know you were thoughtless and hurt him. Call him. And if you could lay off the whingeing about being skint while sitting in your obscenely expensive kitchen wearing Prada it might help.