The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Sipping Super Summer Mocktails Whilst Soaking Up Some Sun.

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

I'm what some would call a 'controlled' drinker these day, but I wasn't always and I'm not alone on this wonderful bus, Gerald, when I say that.

We have drinkers who drink each day, those who abstain completely and those who are not sure what it is that they actually want just yet....

We won't judge you for drinking, no matter what your reason is, we've all been in your shoes somewhere along the way!! And we have ALL used every excuse under the sun too!

We have some Babes who ride on the Roof-Rack, (clinging on for dear life ) and then we have an expandable Side-Car, which some Babes use, but the bus, well, the bus, our wonderful Gerald, who takes us here and there, to pick up people in need of an unbiased and much needed ear to listen to. :)

There are lots of ears on this bus, and not a single one will turn you away and not listen!

Two things that we do believe here are -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

If you are lurking and reading this thread, there is a reason for it, isn't there?

Stay lurking or come and say hello! We don't always bite.

And for those who'd like a bit of history, HERE'S THE LAST THREAD

And of course, THIS IS WHY WE ARE ALL HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE, A VERY AWE INSPIRING READ

See you soon x

Thanks spanna. Awake having panic attacks. Didn't take time off. It is horrendous. I feel out of control and very scared...

thanks all you babes

im drinking tonight, but im gearing up for weds.

slightly worried about what ill find at the local AA meet - if its not right for me i will find another. there are a few around.

i bought a bag while on hols - it says "wine is good"....tonight i bought another, so that im not looking at wine, or thinking about it when i pick my stuff up to come home.

its a tiny step. but at least im thinking about not drinking.

ive only jsut got in so wont drink much but i had to go to the supermarket for some bits and ended up shoving a bottle of red in the basket.

im on a night shift tomorrow so wont drink.
its hard to come to terms with the fact that i only dont drink if im working.

and i never get drunk. i have high tolerance levels now and even a bottle or more has no effect.
in some ways that makes it even harder to quit, yet even more shameful.

Oh hope sweetheart, things sound really awful for you right now. I am so glad to see you back on the bus and just want to send you some love. You are an awesome lady, have always brought warmth, humour and sincerity here. There is a way back to some control and an af day is a great start. I will do it with you tomorrow/today. Xxx

Love to all other babes.

Wokwn up sober - always a great feeling :). - Day 3 here - lots to do and feeling great to be able to do it. morning to all babes - best wishes to all.

Hope lovely, put the breaks on! it may be a bit late now to chuck a sicky today, but please consider taking the rest of the week off. You have a good relationship with your Doc, please go and see her again, get yourself signed off and take some time out. You really need to for your own sanity! It sounds like you're on a hamster wheel doing 100 miles per hour with no time to just 'be', relax, reflect, pamper and generally be kind to yourself. If you carry on the way you are, you will make yourself sick and that will be no good for you or your children. It is time to put yourself first and think of YOU. Try not to worry about work it will still be there when you get back (if you decide to go back!) You will get sick pay for the time being and this may be the opportunity that you need to change careers and look for an alternative. Be strong, think of YOU and get yourself 'signed off'. Big love xxx

70 good morning Day 3 is brilliant, bright eyed and bushy tailed is a really good feeling isn't it?

Day 2 here. Have a good day all of you lovely Brave Babes x

morning and thanks for the great welcome, babyjane1 you made me cry I have just done my online shop and avoided all the alcohol saved in my favorites, got some ginger ale and some diet fizzy stuff for the weekend, I thought if I sipped it ice cold out of a wine glass I could pretend I am having something special. Scales this morning show the damage of last weeks binge drinking 3LB back on so will have to keep reminding myself of this when the temptation strikes. so good to hear that others are doing the same as me and are anging days and even better that when there is a lapse no one tells you off just gives support. I hope that now I have found you I can make a difference. I know it is only 1 day under my belt but I feel better already

Day 10 woo hoo. Into double figures

On a serious note. When i gave up i made a pact with DH that we would go AF for 3 weeks as that coincides with the start of our 2 weeks holiday and us going to a wedding. He has had some wine and a whisky over that time and i know he sees it more as moderating his intake which he can absolutely do.

However i don't think i can moderate. I suspect i need to be all or nothing. I have no off switch and the hangovers have become horrendous. How do i broach with him that i may just keep going? Do i just take one day at a time and say i don't really want to drink that day and eventually he will realise that i am just not drinking at all?

Or will i be able to have the odd vodka or gin or beer? I have no trouble moderating them. It is wine i have trouble with.

I am very confused.

Morning babes

AA was better yesterday. The speaker was great again and I had a chat with a girl of a similar age to me who I felt more of an affinity with. One of the older ladies who responded to the speaker also encouraged me as she was very much more like me in her drinking. No gutter moment and no physical addiction, just didn't want her life to be dominated by alcohol any more.

littlewhite wine is my problem too, I can drink a g&t or a beer and stop after 1 or 2 quite happily. Thing is, when I've tried to moderate using alcoholic alternatives before it has always eventually led me to believe I could moderate the wine too. Ie, well I've had two g&ts over the last month and I've not been tempted to drink any more so I'm sure I can now do the same with wine, etc. Not true, sadly! I'd like of at least 6 months dry this time...

I feel great this morning. Peaceful... Last night I had cheese, and cheese and wine has always been my thing, but I had cheese and M&S apple and pear presse and it was sooooo nice. Better than wine in fact, more going on with the flavours!

hopeI wish you were infront of me so I could hug you, I've had a nervous breakdown recently and your posts are very close to home, you need some time out and maybe try and see a therapist, I'm seeing a private one and it's worth every penny she's helping me clear the chaos of my mind, please consider it and keep posting, I've climbed out of hell with these babes yanking my considerable weight (no easy thing) but I made it back to a peaceful place, you can
Too.

eccles I'm at SW too so can I be your buddy, you can help me lose weight and I'll stick with you on giving that wine witch a Glasgow kiss. PM me anytime if you need a friend, big hugs, it's my weigh in today and have eating way too much chocolate on PMT week but I will carry on and your coming with me, like it or not, big hugs my friend xx

Need to go but as Arnie says, "I'll be back" xx

babyj so great to hear you sounding positive and making changes in your life!

well my alcohol-free fantasy lasted all of 3 days A friend came over last night, I thought she wouldn't drink which I was fine with; but then she said she'd have a beer after all. I can cope okay with DH drinking beer, cause I expect it, but I wasn't prepared for this as friend is usually teetotal. Caught me on the hop, defences down, and in my surprise I was 2 glasses of wine and pouring a 3rd when she left - and she didn't even finish her beer!!!

I just totally didn't expect that situation, but can't blame anyone else, just me lack of willpower. Various other annoyances as I was trudging round Sainsburys - feel rather cross with myself. Much more cross than I would have done if I'd had a normal Sunday evening planned with my usual limited amount of wine.

It was like someone left the prison door open for a moment, and I bolted.

Hi babes, another day 3-er here. Last day of the school term - argh! I had a tough evening last night as the DC were driving me mad and I so wanted a glass of wine to calm down. If there had been some in the house I definitely would have polished it off. Didn't though and this morning I feel much better. It IS nice waking up with a clear head. I stepped on the scales and that dampened my mood a little though. If I can manage to get through tonight without drinking AND without eating what is essentially a second dinner at 11 pm (!), I will be very pleased with myself.

Marigold, I'm glad you liked the AA meeting last night! And your drinking pattern sounds similar to mine too. Mostly white wine, and I didn't have a big dramatic 'rock bottom' moment that finally impelled me to go stop, I was just tired of feeling hazy all the time and obsessively thinking about when my next drink was going to be.

Your posts are very eloquent, baby! Would love the dewy skin but I'm not sure my skin could ever have been described as dewy, not even in my youth before I developed an alcohol problem! Sweaty more like.

vicar, 70, stepaway, alias, littlewhitebag, thinking of you.
littlewhitebag, what you say about perhaps being 'all or nothing' is true of me as well. I didn't want to give up drinking totally (that's why I liked the babes thread better than the 'dry' thread) but I'm starting to think that for me, moderation isn't an option. On the plus side, if you always give yourself the same answer when the voice in your head says, 'Should I have a drink?', at least there's no angsty debating!

I think telling your DH 'I'm not drinking today' is a good solution until you feel ready to tell him 'I've given up drinking' (if indeed you do decide that you want to give it up). My scenario went like this:

• told DH I was not drinking one day at a time
• told DH I was giving up alcohol for the foreseeable future
• relapsed and drank again
• repeated steps 1 and 2.

Not exactly a model to follow, but there you have it.

Also, hugs to you joey. The next time it will be easier not to bolt.

'I'm not drinking today' is a good solution until you feel ready to tell him 'I've given up drinking' this is going to be my new mantra, wish I could say I am going to give up. I would settle right now for being in control, would love the ability to have one ortwo and stop but the off button definitely needs fixing. babyj diet buddy you now have

Hellooooooo lovelies! On lunch so will NC later if I can!

Last minute procedure yesterday, about 3 hours late getting away but man was it worth it! One of those happy, satisfying moments where it leaves you engulfed in a rosy glow! My mantra has always been 'if it was a member of your family/friend wouldn't you like them to have all available hands on deck?' I hate to think an element of gold standard care slips because someone clock watches.

Went to bed tired, but content. Day 12 for me today and day 6 of no contact from him. I weakened and phoned the other night, but he didn't pick up.

Every day I feel a little bit stronger, he doesn't realise the longer he ignores me the more I'm shutting myself off from him. We'd booked a holiday last week of August, no doubt he'll be in contact for that. I should have listened a bit harder on Valentine's when he said he didn't love me anymore.

I'm only just beginning to realise that he still doesn't. Which is hard, because I still love him. I'm just not prepared to 'settle' any more. It's killing my self esteem. The bedroom stuff has probably been the worst thing, I feel like he isn't even in the same space any more, his mind is firmly on his screen women, as I maybe mentioned on another thread.

I'm still going to go on holiday, take some me time and (sounds a bit wanky but) find myself again.

Day 12 though. Bonus!

Aargh! Just wrote long post and lost it (so annoying when that happens), in a nutshell...

I haven't been reading or posting as have been so busy (work in a school, end of term, hen weekend, go in holiday today!)

I have been drinking but I am still firmly on the bus. Thank you for your kind words last week. I won't slope off and I won't lie on here. I have been drinking a lot. I know I will drink on holiday. My plan for Saturday night, when I get home from hols, is to make a cup of tea and settle down to read all of your posts from last week and this week

Sorry for really short post, just wanted to let you know I'm here, and from Saturday night I will be back andvhere for all if you too xx.

Hello all. I am terrible at name-checking but I read everything. I often formulate replies in my head, but then never get around to posting them (specially if I read on my phone). So, sorry about that, but even if you just know that what you type into cyberspace is being listened to, sometimes that feels good.

I think that giving up drink 'for ever' seems like such a hard thing to do, that many of us put off even trying. I would project forward to the next Christmas or birthday, or stressful event (or sad day, or well, pretty much any reason!) and wold not be able to contemplate doing it without a drink. But by not drinking a day at a time, I have focussed much more on how I actually feel, and what I really need. I have also learnt that my taste buds and my body really enjoy a whole range of other drinks, and the best birthday present for an old body like mine is beautifully fresh, delicious exotic foods, cool refreshing hydrating drinks (who suggested coconut water? - you star ) and a gentle walk in fresh air and dappled sunshine. That's a much better birthday treat for my ageing system than a bucket load of alcohol and a shed load of carbs, fried stuff and sugar. Happy birthday body (not quite yet... just anticipating).

When I'm asked about my drinking my favourite response is "I don't really drink much these days"

wry I wonder whether you do still love him, or if you are still in love with the idea of him and the dreams of how things might have been? None of that is bad - we should all have ideals and hopes. But it doesn't sound like he is the exact match for your dreams. Anyway, it sounds like he loves himself enough for 2 people anyway! Your holiday sounds just perfect - and you may found some extra new and wonderful things about yourself that you hadn't realised were lurking there

ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

My car battery is as flat as a witches...... well you know the rest

The very nice RAC man has said to me that I need to drive it for 40 mins at the very least once he gets it going. IF he can get it going. The boot has been open for 6 days so the lights inside have been on.

I've got to take it out when/if he get's it going so I'll be back later.

Sorry if I've butted in xxx

mouse I hope you have air-conditioning in your car. Then you can have 40 minutes of cool peace, away from everything, driving around looking at the summer flowers, the trees, the clouds, the blue sky.... >

hope you are sorted by now mouse....

its funny - was reading upthread, i can stop too if i have anything other than wine....but wine is my downfall. G&T, i can stop after a couple, whiskey and ginger, snap....wine....flood gates open.

well. i am going to count today as my day 1. its enforced because i am on nights tonight.
but tomorrow is the AA meeting so this can be my D day. wish me luck folks. i might need to write down my reasons for doing this, to keep looking at, to remind me.

i am sick of the constant headache.
i am sick of feeling tired and sluggish.
i am sick of spending £35 a week that i dont have on wine
i am sick of wasting mornings in bed
i am sick of thinking about what damage i might be doing to my body
i am sick of not being able to lose any weight
i am sick of feeling guilty
i am sick of DD nagging me to stop drinking (and feeling guilty about it)
i am sick of having no energy to go running

thinking of the rest of you babes.

i need to look at that list tomorrow. its going to be tough - i have 5 days off work.
i might have to try and shake up my routine a bit. i use wine as my reward.

well... I have made it past 8pm on day 2 drinking so much sparklywater I am peeing every 10 mins hope the car sorts itself mouse good luck tomorrow somethingvicard

Hi all
wry you are doing a brilliant job. Get him out of your life. You deserve better.
I am drinking tonight but have lost 6 lbs so am happy.
Bloody warm here in Scotland which is unusual bit lovely.

Hooooooooooorah! I have a functioning car again!

ma it's not lovely. For menopausal a woman it used to be lovely up here - cool and breezy and lovely and rainy. Now it is hot and sticky and horrid. Sadly I am so permanently hot that I think might have sole responsibility for the entire global warming crisis.

venus agree it's not lovely. I was sweating under my mask today. I could have been done with lifting my scrub top and letting Hugo give me a waft. It's so muggy here. At one point I had a small icepack tucked into my drawers. Not very elegant, but oh the relief!

I think you're right you know, I'm grieving for the relationship it should and could, have been. He doesn't get it, he was always looking out for something better, something thinner, something blonder. He never really let me in, in hindsight. xx

ma! 6lbs! Well done on the weight loss, are you secretly getting ready for the paps catching you in your jammies on No 10's doorstep? xx

Mouse Wooohooo re your car! You'll be Mr Toading it along the country lanes tomorrow, Poop Poop! xx

Vicar keep a good tight grip on your wee list, I hope you get what you need from your meeting. One day at a time, quine. xx

Eccles Well done on your 2nd day! xx

alison, see you on Saturday lass, enjoy your holiday! So chuffed you're still aboard, xx

joey nowt worse than having to do a shop when you're feeling peevish! You're fine quine, like you say, it was an unexpected situation and it threw you for a loop. Easy done, and soon mended. My sister should never be allowed near a shop when she's peevish. She has a masters in tut, and degrees out her arse in glower, eye rolls and theatrical sighs. And god forbid anybody whistles....I walk away then, she mean. xx

marfisa Whoop for day 3!!!!! Loved your dh scenario! It made me smile a lot!