The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Sipping Super Summer Mocktails Whilst Soaking Up Some Sun.

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

I'm what some would call a 'controlled' drinker these day, but I wasn't always and I'm not alone on this wonderful bus, Gerald, when I say that.

We have drinkers who drink each day, those who abstain completely and those who are not sure what it is that they actually want just yet....

We won't judge you for drinking, no matter what your reason is, we've all been in your shoes somewhere along the way!! And we have ALL used every excuse under the sun too!

We have some Babes who ride on the Roof-Rack, (clinging on for dear life ) and then we have an expandable Side-Car, which some Babes use, but the bus, well, the bus, our wonderful Gerald, who takes us here and there, to pick up people in need of an unbiased and much needed ear to listen to. :)

There are lots of ears on this bus, and not a single one will turn you away and not listen!

Two things that we do believe here are -

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

If you are lurking and reading this thread, there is a reason for it, isn't there?

Stay lurking or come and say hello! We don't always bite.

And for those who'd like a bit of history, HERE'S THE LAST THREAD

And of course, THIS IS WHY WE ARE ALL HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE, A VERY AWE INSPIRING READ

See you soon x

I made it to the semi-finals but was soundly whipped by my nephew! However,honour was restored as dh beat my sister in the other semi and then beat upstart nephew in the final!

Sounds like tremendous fun!

Hi All.
Just popping in where I know its safe and I can catch my breath.
Ive got work to do.... :(
I cant seem to say much. I just want to say Im here again Im so happy to see you all.
Going to take myself to bed so I dont drink.

x

Ilove bed can be so safe, but please don't use your electric blanket in this heat!

Day two done and dusted. Off to bed and looking forward to good AF sleep.
Night, night all.

Thats my day two done also. I am feeling much better now. Night.

Day two done here also.

Avoided wine tasting at food festival today. Had to really steel myself after toddler tantrum when I, again, thought, "One won't hurt..." But I tried to stay really focused on the bigger picture.

In bed and feeling ok.

I didn't drink, and also tucked up in bed after watching the football. So close to winning work's sweepie. I have but one thing to utter.

Balls.

See you in the morning, bosies to all, xx

Quick post before bed. Thanks for your lovely words, wry. I am finding the weekends hard going. Warm weather... friends and neighbours sitting around in the garden with a glass in their hand... me tired, grumpy and irritable from chasing around after the kids... I catch myself thinking, 'Right, and sobriety is so great because...???' The only thing that held me back this afternoon was thinking that I had made it to day 13, and did I really want tomorrow to be day 1 again? Went to an AA meeting tonight and felt a lot stronger. I find that the meetings vary a lot in terms of atmosphere and in terms of how they make me feel, but usually I find them quite soothing and fortunately tonight's meeting did have a soothing effect.

I'm definitely feeling better physically, but it is going to take awhile to get used to being so bloody lucid and tuned-in all the time. (I keep thinking of what guggenheim said about sobriety being great and horrible at the same time.) I suppose I'm going to need to find other ways to relax and wind down that don't involve mind-altering substances. But mind-altering substances are such a quick handy route to oblivion! Pah.

sweet, littlewhitebag, margaret, bravo on day two! Days one and two are the hardest IMO. And ma, well done on all the successful low-carbing, not to mention the drinking-in-moderation!

I hope isinde comes back. It's funny, that book on mindfulness she recommended was recommended to me before, by someone in RL. There's a group of therapists who did training on mindfulness with Mark Williams, and at one point (when I was desperately/unsuccessfully trying to find strategies to get my anxiety under control), I made an appointment with one of these counsellors to talk about the possibility of having mindfulness-based therapy or maybe doing a mindfulness course. I was upfront with her about my drinking problem and the first thing she said was that you can't drink AND practice mindfulness simultaneously. Duh, I had never thought of that (!). If you're intoxicated, apparently the mindfulness exercises don't work properly. 'Are you serious about stopping drinking?' she said. And I said, 'Oh yes!' and went home and had a bottle of wine to calm myself down and didn't contact her again. Anyway, maybe now I should buy the book.

margaret asked how other babes handle talking to their other halves, friends, etc, about not drinking (or about drinking less). I would be curious to hear about this too. My DH is very supportive of my not drinking, so I'm lucky in that regard. On the other hand, I find myself using other people to lean on rather than him at the moment, partly because he has a history of pointing out my flaws - flaws of which I myself am only too well-aware, for the most part - and it seems easier to seek support from people who have struggled with alcohol themselves. I didn't tell him about AA until I had already been to several meetings and decided that I really did want to give sobriety a go, at least temporarily. I haven't made any big promises to him though, because I'm so afraid of not being able to keep them. I've just told him that I have stopped drinking for now and will see how it goes. As for other people, I think I've erred so far on the side of saying too much, because that's the kind of person I tend to be - I'm not guarded enough, I think. It's partly cultural because even though I've lived in the UK for a long time and consider it my permanent home, I'm American, and Americans are known for, ahem, should I say, oversharing. So I've been telling friends that I found myself drinking too much and just want to take a break for awhile. (I have not gone into the sordid details; I'm trying to be much more casual about it than I actually feel.) So far no one has batted an eyelash really. At the few social functions I've gone to thus far, I've hung onto a glass of something for dear life (whether tonic or sparkling water or whatever) and I suspect most people haven't even noticed that it's non-alcoholic.

God I am chatty. G'night, babes, sweet dreams to all.

P.S. wry, I was happy when you mentioned going round to your boyfriend's, because that means you're not actually living with him. Not that break ups are ever easy, but if you did break it off, at least you would be spared the whole messy question of who moves out and when and so on. Sorry, I don't want to be presumptuous about your private life when I know next to nothing about it, but the man does sound like such a twat!

I'm waking up this morning hungover and with a huge day at work ahead of me why do I do this to myself? Sorry I haven't been able to check in much over the weekend, il read back thoroughly and post properly later xx

What night owls you all are! Well done everyone who is achieving their goals, and if not come and post more for support.

I've had a great nights sleep - though I'm finding it a bit difficult to fully surface and I have a bit of a day three headache. But I feel so much better, and I have lost a pound, which is progress.

What do I tell people about not drinking? I mostly don't, I am so bloody embarrassed about how much I putting away. I tell them I'm dieting or diving. To DH, I just say I'm not drinking today; we both know I drink too much, but we don't discuss it, it doesn't cause arguments because I just fall asleep. But he also believes firmly in personal responsibility and self control - he would never tell me to stop, or to do or not do anything, but accepts any decision in a supportive way. But he also doesn't have a drink problem - he drinks, probably more than he should but not in a problem way - he can stop after one and go back to drinking tea - something I never could.

Working from home today. Got some admin to do then want to get on with a really important career steep for me, and submit my application to start a part-time PhD. I got as far as a first complete draft of my last one, then the closure of my department, a new job (I worked in what was then a new and expanding field so completion wasn't essential to get an academic post), a baby and an EA ExP took away my time and confidence and I put it in a draw. It has now got to the point where I need to get my researching confidence back, and I can only get support by having a formally appointed supervisory team, even though I am a senior academic in every other respect. Not drinking is a really important step in achieving this, so, hello sober day three, these are the things I need to do for ME.

Oh, and I also have to tackle my line-manager about a little over-sight on his part regarding my staffing for next year. Takes deep breath.

alison it will be fine,obviously it would be better if you weren't hungover but I think that everyone here has struggled through work + monster hangover a few times. Get an early night and lots of water for you.

sweet yes you must get back to your studies,very much part of recovery to start to put your self first. To say nothing of recovering those brain cells!
I'm just feeling very grateful today,I was going to post how much I love ds etc etc. Then I remembered that the gratitude MAY have something to do with both ds and dh having buggered off for the morning and me scoring an unexpected day off. Still,I'm bloody grateful for it all.

Nothing wrong with gratitude for some 'me-time' Guggs! - Have you seen this:

It's about babies - but I think it applies to older ones as well - DH and I always discuss how much we miss DS when he's away, even though he's often infuriating when he's here!

I have spent years not getting back to the research precisely because other people's stuff gets in the way (and I want to facilitate them) - except it doesn't, I just use it as an excuse to avoid failing by not trying

But, this year so far I have had more AF days, and life is moving forward - the house move is really important because we finally get away from the house I originally bought with ExP. So, first steps to Dr Sweet

Don't worry alison, at least a killer hangover is a good reminder of why you want to be on the bus!

sweet, great news about your PhD application. What you say about why you didn't need the qualification before and why you want it now makes a lot of sense. Good luck and I hope you are admitted to the programme of your choice and that you have fun doing the degree! One big thing I want to do for myself and my career is finish the book I've been not working on for a terrifying number of years. The post I have now isn't a permanent one, and if I don't get the book done, I'll have next to no chance of getting another post after this one. Lots of alcohol has not really helped me finish the book thus far, so let's see if sobriety can do it.

Good luck with the line manager too.

at guggenheim feeling the love for DS in his absence. I'll having rather the opposite feeling today since DS1 is off school sick. At the risk of sounding heartless, I fervently hope I will be able to pack him off to school again tomorrow. All my plans for the day have been turned upside down. I'm afraid I'm relying rather heavily on various media devices to act as babysitter.

Alcohol is the arch-enemy of finishing for me, so I feel your pain, Marifsa. I have so many half written papers, projects (and PhDs!!). The state of academia these days . . .

I am flippin' fumin', so I need to type to keep the WW from persuading me to hit the 'fuck it button'. Just got of the phone to my mortgage broker. The lender who gave me a yes in principle last week has now said that they have made an adjustment in what they will lend (significantly less than we need) because of the size of my pension payments - this is the pension they wanted to see details of because the mortgage went one year beyond normal retirement. WTF? I wasn't even asking for 3.5x income, and I have a 60% deposit. Mad as fucking hell!

Sorry, just need to vent.

So, I need to keep myself occupied, but mind is now racing - so I am going to concentrate on why I'm not drinking. I feel a list coming on ;

Alcohol:

made me fat
ruined my complexion
made me lazy
because it ruined my sleep
cost me a fortune
doesn't solve anything

Sobriety
is rebalancing my sleep
gives me control over my food and weight
doesn't stop life being scary, but helps me be less scared of life
heals my skin
is helping me to re-focus on me instead of prioritising everyone else
GIVES ME BACK MY MOJO

And, calm.

The witching hours are almost over for me, phew! DH and I are off to the theatre. So hope all you babes are ok, stay strong and fabulous.

Marfisa, that line you wrote - 'Are you serious about stopping drinking?' she said. And I said, 'Oh yes!' and went home and had a bottle of wine to calm myself down and didn't contact her again' made me laugh out loud. I hope you finish the book you are writing so that you can start another one that we would like to read. (Apols assuming your other book is an academic one).

That sentence you wrote sums up the last 3 weeks of my life. Given that my drinking nearly cost me my job and could still bite me anytime, my behaviour is not good, to say the least. Just like Annie and others mentioned I started drinking lager to stay calm and it invariably let me back to drinking wine.

Alison, I hope you got through the day ok? I was on lager one night recently and decided to go to the off licence to get wine. When I got there I decided to go for a drink (which led to 3) and then came home and drank 2 bottles of wine alone and got to bed at about 4am. Needless to say work the next day was hell on earth.

I am now AF for a few days. I have stopped counting. Reading posts like Socs is really helping me stay on the wagon. Thanks very much for reading this.

Can anyone tell me how to write names in bold?

To write names in bold put an asterisk immediately before and after the name.

Well, no alcohol for me today. Have been battling what I though was cystitis but it flares into a full blown and agonising urine infection. Was out with Dcs and only just made it to supermarket loo. By the time we got home I was doubled up and peeing blood! Sorry tmi. I have never known anything like it. Gp supplied emergency antibiotics thankfully, and I have to drink litres of water. So, an AF day for me but I would prefer easier ways to do it!

Thanks Ma, much appreciated. You poor thing. Have you got some decent painkillers? That can be agony. I once ended up in A&E on morphine with a urinary tract infection. Make sure you take it easy and take a few days off to recover.

At 4pm this afternoon I had the half glass of wine left in the bottle from last night. I desperately wanted to go to the corner shop to get more. Physically felt like screaming and throwing things I felt so stressed out about it. I didn't though as I knew dh would be fuming as he was unhappy about me drinking so much last night. I did broach the subject with him when he got home from work but it was a no-goer. Luckily rather than being overly judgemental he gave me a hug and asked what he could do to help to make me feel less stressed and therefore feeling less like I needed to drink. That made up my mind not to buy more wine and amazingly, once the decision was made, a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. The actual thought process of whether to drink or not was my biggest source of stress. Although my aim is moderation I do need to consider complete abstinence as perhaps I'll find it a relief to remove the daily decision making.

Get better soon ma, sounds awful.

It's so hard isn't it pat? One week I do really well and the next I stuff it up again.

Well done for making it through the witching hour sweet, one minute at a time.

The very lovely jesus who started us all on this journey, often used to post first thing in the morning - some kind of ramble followed by: TODAY I WILL NOT BE DRINKING (always in capital letters).

It is as though you make that decision once, early in the day, and then that's it. The decision is made, and there's no need for all the head-fuckery later on.

Hi babes

Have been on the bus before but have been away for a while and have name changed for this.

Went to my first AA meeting tonight. No one else knows I went, made up a plausible story for DH and snuck off. Don't know how I felt about it yet, it was a lot to take in. Everyone was very friendly and welcoming but it was pretty scary. Lots of people who have obviously got physical and mental problems as a result of drinking. I felt kind of divorced from a lot of people's responses to the share. I dunno. I think I'll go back, but I'm not sure how helpful it will be.

2 days done anyway...