Is this acceptable for a second date?

[superstarheartbreaker]

I really wanted to go out for a nice meal or a drink. His suggestion..stay at his in front of the tv and watch the England game. I suggested going out to watch the game in the pub. He said no because hos mates would give him a hard time for missing the match to be with me.

I got upset. He said I was being unreasonable. I guess I didnt want to go straight to his as I didnt want to rush sex.

I told him he should have rearranged the date although tbh I am going away for a bit so there wasnt much choice as he wanted to see me. I told him Iid stay put so he could see the match with friends an hour before due to meet.

He talked me round. Match on. We did have some good sex with match in in background! ut he kept going on about anal Which I refused.

I ended up paying a tenner for a pizza delivery as he was hungry and ran out of cash. I didnt even like the pizza he ordered. I started to get upset as I felt the date had been not romantic enough. He thinks I am way over thinking things but tbh I thinkni deserve better than footie and pizza on a second date.

Im going to stop dating til world cup is over!

Pof. I need to go on a different site. I do know I'm worth more which is why I've dumped him! I probably shouldn't have shagged him but I haven't had sex for a while and it was a good shag. I don't feel emotionally attached...how could I?

Yes...he's an arse.

However, you can't really complain about the 'date'. You agreed to it all - the football, the pizza you don't like, the shag. So he's thinking you were ok with all this and what did he do wrong? Don't agree to something and then moan about the other person - you both chose to have a night like this.

The only thing you disagreed on was the anal (agree it was poor of him to keep going on about it at all, let alone on the 2nd date).

Well why write a post about it if you think you're worth more? From what I've read it all screams 'self esteem issues' which most of have but Fucking dudes ain't solving that shit.

Shagging blokes at festivals is never ideal and certainly the types that go to Glastonbury...metal festivals are far better for men

He wanted to shag you quickly and have free (his choice) pizza in front of the footy. He got exactly what he wanted (minus the anal sex bit).

You didn't get what you wanted. (A meal, a drink, a nice pizza, romance, feeling special, or even watching the footy at a pub etc, etc) No wonder you feel upset.

He sounds like a catch. If you're done with him, can i have his number?
Ten years from now, he'll be slouched in a filthy arm chair, pizza topping dribbling down over his beer belly, shouting at the telly and your kids.
Run. Fast.

I don't see a self esteem issue here. She fancied a shag, got one, then told him to piss off.

She says she fancied a shag anyway - after the event. She is trying to take some good from a situation where she didn't really get what she wanted at all.

I really wanted to go out for a nice meal or a drink...I got upset. He said I was being unreasonable. I guess I didnt want to go straight to his as I didnt want to rush sex....
I started to get upset as I felt the date had been not romantic enough.

It is low self esteem if you go along with what some random wants, especially if your instinct is telling you not to.

Kentish... I didn't choose the footsie or the pizza... I basically went along with what he wanted... Doh!

Next time don't go on a date (of whatever number) with someone if they are trying to 'talk you round' into doing something you don't want to do.

This has got nothing to do with the World Cup.

I'm astounded you'd go to someone's house on a second date you met on pof.
Like REALLY?
I would be barely giving my surname at that point. Definitely not my address.
Yeah, I know women shouldn't have to limit their movements but my god, REALLY? Men are the number 1 health risk to women.

I'd wonder how this would have turned out if you had stuck to your original feeling and said you didn't want sex so early on.

OP you need to wise up before you continue dating.

You said in your original post that you didn't want to rush into having sex.

And yes to Ladyblabla too.

I'm not sure how going back to someone's house you met on online dating on a first or second date is any different to having a one night stand with someone you meet in a club though for example. A lot of people seem very anti online dating but the reality is that really it's just a different way of meeting someone.

Having said that (and this is a different topic entirely really) I wouldn't go back to anyone's house, however I met them, for a good few weeks at least. Time to get to know them and suss them out without sex being involved. But there was a thread recently where a lot of posters said they slept with their long term partners early on so perhaps I am rather old fashioned (age 33 if relevant).

'Kentish... I didn't choose the footsie or the pizza... I basically went along with what he wanted... Doh!'

But you did choose to go on that 'date'. You could have said 'no thanks, see you after Glasto'. Or 'what pizza shall we order, oh, I don't like that one, let's get an X instead' or 'can we turn the TV off now we are having sex on the sofa' or many other things. You agreed to his plans. That's choosing to do them.

I'm not having a pop at you. But try to grow a pair!

I think we've all had dates we were a bit dubious about and found we weren't enjoying. You aren't obliged to stick around for them as they are. You can suggest changing what you are doing. You can offer to leave them to enjoy themselves but go home as this isn't your thing. You can say that on reflection you think it was a mistake to get together tonight - you just want to chill and watch footie, I really don't want to do that, shall we call it a night and I'll call you tomorrow.

but anyway, someone who goes on and on about wanting anal at any point in a relationship is a tosser. To do it on 2nd date and I'm presuming 1st sex, how is he surprised he's been dumped? who wants a lover that boring and whiny and selfish.

Onwards and upwards, OP. Better luck next time.

Its quite normal to go to people's houses on the 2nd date, isn't it?
Rather that than they come to yours.

I dated my bf for 6 weeks before I went to his house. It was 4 months before I let him come to mine. I guess I'm old fashioned.

Talking about anal on a 2nd date? Run for the hills.

I think you need a break from dating, as well. You do seem a bit too desperate at present - and the trouble with being desperate is not only do you attract unappealing men, but the nice ones run a mile.

Buy yourself a nice new vibrator and one of my books and have some single time while you work out what you really want.

Thanks all. The funny thing was I was so happy being single before I met him. I still am atm. Id made up my mind to spend all summer having fun just dd and I.

He chased me on pof for about 5 weeks. The first date was lovely which is why I was a bit thrown but I did ignore that little voice that felt maybe he was tryong to sweet talk me into bed.

Well now I know and the d pell is well and truly broken!

And yes, I do plan to be on my own for a while.

Spell is broken even!

So he got the date he wanted. He got the pizza he wanted. He got a shag he wasn't even expecting. And you left saying it's finished so he doesn't even need to see you again.

Result night all round for him, just a shame the footie result was shit.

Look at the other way OP. Bullet dodged.

You found out is he is
Selfish
Self centered
Inconsiderate
And that he will always care more about what his friends think.

You got a shag out of it and have decided not to go back for more.

he didn't want to see you before you left because he really liked you it was because he didn't want to wait for sex.

Good. Well done for getting rid.
Now work a bit pn your boundaries.
E.g I don't like x pizza. Seeing as I am paying how about we get this instead.

This is the kind of date I ended up on when I was young because I didn't know any better!

"Men are the number 1 health risk to women. "
I have to pick up on this statement (and just to be clear, i AM a woman, but i also have medical training).
Heart disease is the number 1 risk to women.
None of us would like sweeping statements like "women are the number 1 threat to their children" but this is factually correct - for under 5s, 53% of DV deaths are caused by their mothers.
I only joined this site a few days ago and i am shocked by the man hating that goes on here. Two threads talked about sex today - one, a guy who would;'t have sex with his wife (predictably, he was labelled a twat and generally abused) and a woman that didn't want sex with her husband (perfectly excusable, lots of supportive comments).
I'm really not sure that it does anybody any favours to promote an anti-men agenda. Most men are no threat to women whatsoever, as witnessed by the low murder rate.
I do agree, though, that going to somebody's house, particularly this neanderthal's, is a bad idea for s second date.

Jamie, heart disease may kill more women, but in terms of being health risks to women, when we've got 1 in 4 experiencing domestic abuse, it's not great huh?
Domestic abuse is a health risk in many many ways. Not just the 2 killed a week.