Please tell me I did the right thing (long)

[JaneyBoo]

Been friends with this guy for a while. Mutual attraction, got on very well. Emailing me constantly for a while. We go out for a drink, sleep together, wonderful time (emotionally and physically).

He is lovely; affectionate; very compatible.

We both have a history of terrible relationships- he is pretty scarred over it. He had a habit if disappearing on me (no contact for a while) so I asked him explicitly to keep in touch.

After sex, I don't hear anything. Not a text, nothing. So I contacted him basically saying you did the one thing I asked you not to- disappeared.

I then get a very nice email and we have more back-and-forwards contact.

Then he disappears again.

So I contacted him, nicely but assertively, to say that I didn't think this would meet either of our needs and that he shouldn't contact me again.

I feel dreadful. I really liked this guy and he was lovely to me (when he could be arsed ).

I did the right thing , didn't I? But I really feel a loss; over the friendship more than anything.

???? Views???? (This has been going on for a couple of months although I have known him longer).

Yes, you did the right thing. But now you have to stick to it.

He is Not That Into You. If you go all pathetic now, he will be Really Not Into You.

Just write him off.

You definitely did the right thing. Mixed messages from a guy usually mean he's just not that into you. Sorry to use that awful phrase.

Dust yourself off and congratulate yourself that you saw the red flags this time and won't be wasting loads of emotional energy on him any more.

Sorry it turned out to be crap but hopefully there's a better one around the corner for you.

100% you did the right thing, good for you. You need to stick to your decision though as this user will be back when he's nothing better to do. What a prick.

Thank you. I won't contact him. Just miss him very much and feel sad today.

I really do feel like I did the right thing now !! Thanks . :) Hard though.

it is, give it time. And be proud of your kick ass, no shit attitude.

Thank you .

The thing that bothers me is that I got this sooooo wrong. I thought he was really nice. Seemed really into me. Wow. Oh well, guess it's an old story. :/

Yes you did. Oh well at least you have found out quite early on. How much background do you know about him, do you think he could be in another relationship or even married?

Divorced. Could be in another relationship I guess. Not known him all that long- about a year, on and off.

janey, don't blame yourself, he charmed you, he's a user. you've cottoned on pretty quick.

Thanks. He was incredibly nice and in retrospect I guess very manipulative. :(

You did the right thing but it is so sad that you gave him a piece of your soul so easily.

er, hang on a mo, she's known him a year. I think that comment's out of order. What about a bit of support?

A peice of her soul? Piss off!

OP you did the right thing. Stick to it! X

He got a piece of something; wouldn't say it was my soul. :D

Conservative, if by a piece of your soul you mean she had sex with him, then why don't you say so?

This is the second post I've seen on this board from you and while I get it's throw-back Thursday...

oh is that where my soul went????

well done OP. not easy but you've done the big girls pants thing to do.

I didn't realise I kept my soul down my knickers. Thought that was my arsehole.

I agree that she is now in the right frame of mind - no need to have a go. Where is the respect for decency and decent opinions.

LOL!

bless you Conservative I just don't happen to agree your opinion is 'decent'. Old-fashioned woman-hating bolleaux, yes, but decent, no.

:) Oh well, at least I'm smiling now which I didn't think I'd do today.

Oh that's good OP, did you find your lost bit of your soul? I am pleased for you...

:D I'm having a fiddle around now trying to find it...