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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

loves me, doesn't find me "FWOARRR" any more...

64 replies

emzickle · 06/09/2006 12:41

I was stupidly fishing for a nice comment the other day from DP - which resulted in him explaining that no, my new big curves are not what he likes... and if he liked "big" girls he would be going out with some one like X (one of my friends) and he would never of gone out with me.

To which I pointed out that I am about to have his baby in the next few weeks - which he replied "yes and Im grateful. I love you, I just dont think that your body is very fwooor... or what ever any more"

me left sitting in shell garrage mouth wide opened GOBSMACKED... then burst into tears whilst DP paid for petrol.

He says he loves me, just doesnt like my body.

So now I have this major horrible complex. I was 9 stone, im probably more like 13 1/2 now, I have stretch marks all over, and I feel like a big fat jelly moo... please make me not feel so horrid about my body. Ive started to get dressed in the bath room now, not infront of DP.

depressing me. thought pregnancy was supposed to bring people closer together. PIFFLE

OP posts:

sandyballs · 06/09/2006 12:44

, jeez, what an arse. Can't believe he said that to you in your condition. Does he still look exactly the same as when you met him? I doubt it and he's not even pregnant. You'll get back to your pre-pregnancy weight eventually.

bouncy · 06/09/2006 12:47

what a knob, sorry he said that to you.

Northerner · 06/09/2006 12:48

He was very thoughtless IMO. Is this your first baby?

Being pregnant does strange things to men, they do stop seeing us in a sexual way and see us more as a mother and not someone they 'fancy'

Your body is that of a pregnant woman, you are growing a baby FGS, tell him if he had a bay in his tummy you wouldn't find him very Phwoor either!

It's not forever and yuo will return to normal but he should have been intelligent enough to keep schtum. Moron

joelallie · 06/09/2006 12:48

A little insensitive of your DP to say the least! I'd have been devestated too. I am fairly sure that DH didn't fancy me much in the last few months of my pregnancies but that was fine 'cos I sure as hell didn't want a sh*g most of the time. But he would never have said anything so blatantly cruel....pregnancy emotions tend to make you a little emotionally vulnerable anyway.

What did he say when he saw you so upset?

Original poster

emzickle · 06/09/2006 12:48

to top it off - we went and had dinner with friends that evening (his friends, not mine - as none of my friends are actually "socially acceptable" in his eyes)

and his best friend's new girl friend is a beauty therapist aka jumoed up bitch tart and they spent 45 mins chatting about how to get me looking "normal" again. I could of actually killed him.

OP posts:

Northerner · 06/09/2006 12:49

It gets worse. This man deserves a kick in teh bollocks.

ishouldbedoingtheironing · 06/09/2006 12:49

If he finds you so unnatractive I take that he never wants to have sex again with you!!
I doubt it.
I agree what an arse.

Gobbledigook · 06/09/2006 12:50

sorry, he needs a good slap across the face

ishouldbedoingtheironing · 06/09/2006 12:50

Does he have any redeeming qualities ???

joelallie · 06/09/2006 12:51

Just make sure that, once you are slim again and back to your old self (and it WILL happen), that you make sure to let him know when he puts any weight on, or starts to lose his hair or any other inevitable sign of being a normal human being.

T*sser!

AvaLou · 06/09/2006 12:52

Jesus that is awful. You need to make flippant comment about his length/girth and see how much he likes it.

It's bad enough in pregnancy when you have your own body image issues to deal with, and you do really need a supportive partner. I mean, he may think that, but what good will it do to say it out loud? You are carrying his child fgs which is the most amazing thing a womans body can do, and you deserve a lot more respect.

I bet that beauty therapist had overplucked eyebrows, nasty nails and orange skin anyway.

Original poster

emzickle · 06/09/2006 12:54

he did squirm a little when bumped into one of my ex's at my brother's birthday party on Sunday afternoon, as my ex announced to the room he'd never seen me look so sexy... DP's jaw hit the floor...

OP posts:

HappyDaddy · 06/09/2006 12:55

What a prick.

expatinscotland · 06/09/2006 12:56

What a bastard.

Sorry, but even if you think something like that, is it necessary to say that to your partner?

Especially when they're pregnant, ill, vulnerable, etc.?

Original poster

emzickle · 06/09/2006 12:57

and me being a total idiot last night spighed on his phone a text message from a mutual female friend, obviously been texting each other (but nothing going on, I know that)

when she asked how I was, his reply, "about to drop, about bloody time, should see her!"

made me grumble "GIT" a few times...

OP posts:

AvaLou · 06/09/2006 12:58

My ex many years ago, used to refuse to come over when I was ill as I in his words 'look like crap and won't want sex' .
He became an ex for good reasons.

wartywarthog · 06/09/2006 13:02

he's being a wanker.

HappyDaddy · 06/09/2006 13:03

emzickle, the more you tell us the bigger a prick he becomes. How you haven't smashed his face in, I'll never know. Tell him he's got a tiny cock and he's shit in bed anyway, then ask how he likes it.

Twat.

bossykate · 06/09/2006 13:05

looks like you will have 2 kids to contend with.

throckenholt · 06/09/2006 13:06

your body is growing a baby - in the best way it knows how - it doesn't care if it changes shape a bit - and you have very little control over what it decides to do.

Revel in the fact that you are doing someting wonderful that your DP can never do.

And try telling him to grow up and realise that life changes you in unexpected ways.

I hope you feel better soon.

coppertop · 06/09/2006 13:10

Being an arrogant self-centred tosser is far less attractive than being 13.5st.

MrsBigD · 06/09/2006 13:12

emzickle, can only echo what has already been said... what a pl*nker!

Defo try and find something you can critique on him and then he'll see how he'll like it!

re your ex's comment! I know quite a few men who find pg women VERY attractive .

Original poster

emzickle · 06/09/2006 13:16

all of you ladee's that have had LO's, can you give me some advise on how to loose the weight postpartum, Im kinda worried if I dont loose it soonish, that I'll loose him.

OP posts:

AvaLou · 06/09/2006 13:18

That should be the least of your worries, and if you lose him for that then he's not worth 'keeping'.
Concentrate on making yourself and baby happy and comfortable.

Sparkler1 · 06/09/2006 13:20

emzickle - I'll be brutally honest here and say that if you do lose him then maybe it's not such a bad thing and he doesn't deserve you anyway. The rotten git! But I'm sure that's not the sort of thing you want to hear - as no matter what you still love him dearly.
I have been a previous member of Slimming World and am returning to group tomorrow night. I remember last time I went there was a lady there who was pregnant - she was following the healthy eating plan. She was gaining weight at a steady pace as pregnancy progressed. Whilst most people were applauded for losing pounds she was cheered for putting on weight. It was good for her though as she was eating healthily and the plan was for her to be able to get back to her pre-pregnancy size again easily.

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