loves me, doesn't find me "FWOARRR" any more...

[emzickle]

I was stupidly fishing for a nice comment the other day from DP - which resulted in him explaining that no, my new big curves are not what he likes... and if he liked "big" girls he would be going out with some one like X (one of my friends) and he would never of gone out with me.

To which I pointed out that I am about to have his baby in the next few weeks - which he replied "yes and Im grateful. I love you, I just dont think that your body is very fwooor... or what ever any more"

me left sitting in shell garrage mouth wide opened GOBSMACKED... then burst into tears whilst DP paid for petrol.

He says he loves me, just doesnt like my body.

So now I have this major horrible complex. I was 9 stone, im probably more like 13 1/2 now, I have stretch marks all over, and I feel like a big fat jelly moo... please make me not feel so horrid about my body. Ive started to get dressed in the bath room now, not infront of DP.

depressing me. thought pregnancy was supposed to bring people closer together. PIFFLE

emzickle... you might feel like a hyppo, and trust me it will get worse the closer you get to due date, but YOU ARE NOT A PIG YOU ARE PREGNANT

My DH has said something very similar. He said although he loved me and the thought that his next LO was growing inside me he really doesn't find my pregnancy shape attractive. TBH I don't like it either. I can't blame him for being honest (I can't stand his new haircut) although it hurt my feelings a bit.

I really want to get back into shape after LO is born and he has said he will help however he can.

Your DH probably didn't mean to intentionally hurt you feelings, lets face it we all know men are not a sensitive to feelings as us girls but I do think he didn't think about what he was saying before he said it.

You will just have to get yourself back into sexy, foxy shape after the birth, dress up in a super-sexy dress and go out for night with the girls, let him see that the 'larger you' was only temporary.

You can't blame hime for being honest? I bloody can!

There's a time for honesty, and 8 months pregnant and feeling insecure is not it.

Arse!

Amen, Becky!

I really hope my daughter's marry the person who loves them for who they are. As my mother always said, 'Marry the one who uses his eyes to see rather than look.'

You're PREGNANT w/his child now, ffs.

"You will just have to get yourself back into sexy, foxy shape after the birth, dress up in a super-sexy dress and go out for night with the girls, let him see that the 'larger you' was only temporary. "

And he will just have to stop being such an insensitive arse who thinks with his prick so that, let you see the 'more moronic him' was only temporary.

Been there. Its horrible. Hope it gets better for you

lol joelallie

jesus christ ALMIGHTY. This is AWFUL treatment from him.

What actually is lovable about him Em? What is nice about him? why do you love him? Help us out here, we're struggling to understand why you haven't bopped him on the head and buried him under the patio!

Agree with everyone. Poor you.

First can i say congratulations on expecting your first baby, what a wonderful exiting time for you, and what a shame your twit (DH/DBF/DP whatever) doesn't appreciate you for the gift that he could never have without you.
And, although this is not the very best time to mention it, a word of warning. My husband is a precious dear person and a wonderful father who I love dearly and we have been together for nearly 20 years, but I don't find him remotely sexually atrractive and never really have. Our sex life is strained and infrequent BUT, and this is a big BUT; I have never said such hurtful things to him as your partner has to you. Especially at such a vulnerable time. Is this man really good enough for you, whatever life may bring to you? take care.

i think his comments were out of order at a time when u needed support. is he generally bad at giving you compliments or was this a oneoff?

tell him the best way for you to get your shape back will be to eat lots of healthy, home cooked food (cooked by him....) do some exercise (and have massages, paid for by guess who....) and have plenty of sleep (so guess who will have to do some night shifts...)

WeightWatchers helped me get back my figure. And Dh missed the curvier aspects of it- at elast I think he did, he amde have said that to make me feel better when I was bigger.

because people who really love you want yu to feel good, not bully you into submission before you even give birth.

Don't go rushing into diets as soon as you deliver, please. Give your body time to adjust, hormones time to re-balance and BF to be established, if you want to bf.

Pretty shocked also at him discussing your weight with the beauty therapist (hardly a sisterhood type is she? WTF?) or the comments about your friends being socially acceptable. I mean, ??? Unless he's Price Charles and you're hanginga round with Bernard Manning, that's meaningless bullying. And if he is Prince Charles that's still bullying and crass to put it mildly.

Emotional blackmail and cruel bullying, I am afraid.

I would seriously consider leaving if this continues, or if it is an extension of behaviour from the past. It may be a case of panicking about his 'lost' youth (hey mate, you wanna keep your youth, use a condom) but still needs a setriously talking to

Poor you, emzickle. Your man needs to take a good long hard look at himself and see that he is being cruel. Does he have any information on pregnancy and know that what is happening to your body is normal? Maybe your midwife could help with some info? At least she could maybe reassure you that your body is just doing what it's supposed to and that your man is the one with a problem here. Good luck.

it's a time of readjustment for both of you and then BANG there's a baby and you both have to readjust some more.
Don't hate him.
Don't let his remarks crush you.
he was telling the truth and that is never all bad.

You will not be this size and shape for long.
Good luck with the baby.
What an exciting time.