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Original poster

How many people have a "perfect" relationship?

55 replies

MissPennySweet · 07/06/2014 23:05

Before my STBXH went and fucking cheated I thought we had a perfect relationship, now it seems like I will never find someone else, even though I know it's not been long.

To summarise:

  • he was respectful of women
  • a careful yet generous attitude to money
  • not selfish in bed
  • same views on marriage/children
  • a kind person
  • sent me regular "good morning beautiful" texts etc
  • bought me flowers all the time
  • would put my needs first
  • would stay up/in to comfort me if I was sad
  • lavished me with compliments
  • slow danced with me
  • never got cross at me for being too needy
  • never had an interest in other women (or so I thought)

Someone reassure me that there are other men out there like this!

OP posts:
JaycesMummy · 07/06/2014 23:07

I don't as I'm single Confused but there are plenty of men out there that are like what you have listed.

Original poster
MissPennySweet · 07/06/2014 23:10

Thanks, I'm being woefully self indulgent I know, it's been a hard night , feeling not good enough for another man.

OP posts:
littlegreengloworm · 07/06/2014 23:12

I am happily married but I don't think there is a perfect relationship at all.

I have been very badly hurt in the past and I'm grateful to meet someone who I am compatible with, trust and make each other happy.

There are definitely things I would change but I am so far from perfect, I am lucky to have met someone who would marry me.

Iflyaway · 07/06/2014 23:15

Fuck another man..,

You are fantastic as you are!

When you believe that, and well on your way with your own company, a great man will show up.

might take a while

Iflyaway · 07/06/2014 23:18

Why do women think only a relationship can make us happy?!

it, s the culture!

GiniCooper · 07/06/2014 23:19

Tbh, the constant compliments, flowers bullshit stuff is not 'perfect' at all.

No long term, long lasting genuine relationship I know has this stuff. It's all a bit showy, red flag to me.

MagpieMama · 07/06/2014 23:26

I like to think DH and I have a perfect relationship but it's only perfect for us and might not be what other people want. I think being compatable is what makes a relationship, that and knowing that everyone had flaws but still loving them for it.

JaycesMummy · 07/06/2014 23:47

Iflyaway I am happier when I am not in a relationship.

holdyourown · 07/06/2014 23:47

My (limited) experience is the overly romantic flower buyers are more likely to have affairs as they love romantic ideals. But I haven't got much evidence so would be interested in what others think.
Also, one big minus of your ex is that he was unfaithful, obvs, so you need to find a man with that stuff minus perhaps a bit of the romance but with a bit more integrity, which I'm sure you will in time.

bumdiedum · 07/06/2014 23:54

what's wrong with to be in relationship? being lonely is unhealthy! (and lonely!) Perfect one maybe a bit optimistic though.

BolshierAyraStark · 07/06/2014 23:54

My very good friend had a hot husband & fuck me was he hot that was generous with flowers etc & lavished her with compliments, he golfed abroad a lot & found a Spanish woman to fuck in his spare time-he told my friend about this in such a callous manner that it broke her Sad He is a twat Hmm
My DH has non of the bullshit qualities, we both simply know that an affair is the one thing there is no going back from, we make our choices based on that.

HalfCracked · 07/06/2014 23:57

Yeh not convinced people in relationships are any happuer so im not looking. Seems to me, even if u meet somebodt lovely, it's all good for 18 months to two years and then boredom complacency disrespect etc show up..... ive been single for 6 out of the last 7 years. I think i could date but id have to date down (ie older men, unattractive, boring). Plenty of single men out there but none as good company as my female friemds. So. I doubt that cheered u up!

SirChenjin · 07/06/2014 23:58

I don't know anyone with a perfect relationship. I know people who think they have a perfect relationship, but that seems to entail one half of the couple taking more than they give and the other half accepting behaviour that others wouldn't put up with. I do know people who have a really good relationship - but it's definitely not perfect.

Lioninthesun · 08/06/2014 00:16

Same as Sir. IME one person is doing all of the 'work', be it emotionally or physically. Not for me, thank you!

Philoslothy · 08/06/2014 00:23

GiniCooper Sat 07-Jun-14 23:19:43
Tbh, the constant compliments, flowers bullshit stuff is not 'perfect' at all.

No long term, long lasting genuine relationship I know has this stuff. It's all a bit showy, red flag to me.

I have been with my husband for 20 years, he brings me flowers every week and is always paying me compliments.

Philoslothy · 08/06/2014 00:25

For me, my marriage is pretty close to perfect. My husband makes my heart flip, I often gaze at him and can feel my loins stirring after 20 years and five children - hopefully more to come. We sit and talk for hours, I respect and admire him and he is a great father and husband.

tanukiton · 08/06/2014 00:29
  • he was respectful of women
  • a careful yet generous attitude to money
  • not selfish in bed
  • same views on marriage/children
  • a kind person
nope- sent me regular "good morning beautiful" texts etc nope- bought me flowers all the time
  • would put my needs first
  • would stay up/in to comfort me if I was sad
nope- lavished me with compliments nope- slow danced with me
  • never got cross at me
  • never had an interest in other women
Not PERfect but My husband is kind and usually doesn't get cross at me. I totalled the car on fucking gate and he actually phoned me back and apoligized because he forgot to ask if I was ok. I love him especially when I do something stupid. MEh I can buy my own flowers.
getthefeckouttahere · 08/06/2014 00:41

hmmmnn,

i'm not sure that trying to create a clone of the man who treated you so appallingly is the best way to go?

Some of your assumptions about your ex are obviously incorrect

eg Respectful to women ..... errr not really was he? Not to you or the person he shagged when he was married. You get my drift, i just think you are comparing to a person who never existed.

DollyWosits · 08/06/2014 00:46

Not me, but I am very happy with my DH and have been since we first moved in together nearly 30 years ago but he perfect he ain't Smile

  • he was respectful of women. yes
  • a careful yet generous attitude to money. yes
  • not selfish in bed. yes
  • same views on marriage/children. yes
  • a kind person. yes
  • sent me regular "good morning beautiful" texts etc . Sometimes
  • bought me flowers all the time. sometimes and for no reason
  • would put my needs first. would put both our needs first Confused
  • would stay up/in to comfort me if I was sad. yes
  • lavished me with compliments . yes
  • slow danced with me . No chance Grin
  • never got cross at me for being too needy. yes
  • never had an interest in other women (or so I thought). yes
Pugaboo · 08/06/2014 08:03

My husband doesn't do the flowers and texts all the time but does the rest and much more. He's brilliant. Our marriage isn't perfect though.

Revised · 08/06/2014 08:26

I absolutely agree that the hearts and flowers stuff is not a good thing. Occasionally yes, but all the time, no, especially if it's done in an ostentatious way. It's more about showing you and everyone else what a perfect husband he is than actually being one (by, you know, staying faithful)

JapaneseMargaret · 08/06/2014 08:37

No such thing as a perfect relationship, because humans aren't perfect.

But I don't think that's the issue here, anyway.

What here are is, plenty of good, kind decent men out there. Your ex obviously turned out not to be one of those, but there are plenty more out there.

Don't give up hope. :)

melissa83 · 08/06/2014 08:40

I would say your list is just mostly standard not perfect.

Nulliferous · 08/06/2014 08:44

I've got to say, OP's 'perfect man' sounds deathly dull. I don't want to be 'wooed' by some alpha male. I want an equal partner I can have a laugh with.

melissa83 · 08/06/2014 08:46

I dont care about flowers and wouldnt say I am ever needy, but surely respectful, kind, similar views, great shag, best mate would be the least anyone would want.

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