He's not going to text is he?

[Unrequitedrequited]

(Wo)manned up and told lovely guy I liked him more than is should so I didn't want to see him anymore. He has been my friend for a long time - mutual friend of ex dh (we separated 4 years ago).

If spent months pining for him before and i was trying to stop myself developing feelings for him again.

He told me he didn't know if he wanted me to stop having feelings for him and said he wanted to see me again to 'see how things went'. Then he told me he'd always had feelings for me and that he'd had to watch me and ex dh get together and split up when I would have been much better suited to him.

He asked me If I wanted to watch a film with him and I said yes. But I haven't Hearn anything from him since. It's been two days.

It's totally ridiculous but I have no appetite at all and I feel physically sick.
Now I'm miserable and waiting to hear from him but wishing he had just left things in a way . If he wasn't sure wouldn't it have been the easy way out for him?

Sorry this is so long, trying to condense it all and not leave out any thing relevant is tricky.

Shit. Wwyd?

OP!! Did he get back to you??

OP I know exactly how you feel, because this happens to me every time I like a man.

I get hooked in with their patterns of constant communication, passionate declarations and announcements, seemingly mutual interest and then they go cold or start disappearing.

Then the advice starts rolling in about he's not into you, don't be needy, people have lives and are not staring at their phones, and so on, but I don't believe that anyone is so busy they don't have 30 seconds to answer a text or email.

What always hurt me the most is I knew perfectly well that all these excuses are exactly that and if I was really important to someone then they would WANT to take 30 seconds out to answer my text. I can always sense when they have lost interest, and I suppose we are meant to "play it cool" and demonstrate "value" and all these other illusions of confidence, but it's very difficult to do that when you are hurting and feeling rejected.

I think it's only common courtesy, whatever one's feelings, to answer someone who is clearly distressed or waiting for a response. I don't believe for a second they don't see the messages, I think they ignore it so they don't have to man up or deal with it. Then usually when you have begun to feel better they pop up again, but always on their own terms... I like to think maturity has something to do with it, but it seems to happen at all ages.

These are only observations I have made, I have no real solutions but I can only hope that despite the bad luck I have had in love, my DD does not have to suffer the same constant rejection.

I feel for you very much, I know how disappointing it is when they show interest and then pull away.

Hi I had similar recently. An acquaintance not a random. I get the whole not into you thing but wouldn't it be polite to put you out of your misery as such. I was pissed off, I hate the whole dumping by silence thing - it's rude! Especially when you put yourself out there. Especially when done by someone you'd count as a friend. As a poster above said a friend wouldn't treat you like this.

I would love to know how this turned out.

When I met my husband we never worried about over texting or played any 'I am not texting first' games.

IME, if both parties are interested there is none of that. I have never known a man who was really into someone not text for days. If they want to go on a date they arrange it pretty quickly.

If a man took a while getting back to me (and I don't mean hours) I would know instantly that he just isn't that into me.

Hi, thanks so much go everyone who posted! Have been wallowing. He got back to me after 5 days but only after I texted him. He was really apologetic aux he had wanted to text but don't want to send a half hearted one?! He asked me again if I wanted to see a movie I said yes, he said that he needed to check his work rota but he'd let me know and that he was excited. He said liked me and wamted to spend time with me. Of course that was what I wanted too so I replied that I was excited too. After 2 days siting if still heard nothing more about seeing the film and was royally pissed off. So I messages him that I wasn't bothered about watching a film anymore and big to bother checking his rota...I feel like he's just playing some kind of mind game with me and if he liked me too he'd just set a time to meet. Am I wrong?

Why didn't he just stay away in the first place?

Sorry for all the typos- stupid phone! I meant 'not bother'

Op he has some one else.

Been there with a nob head ex - if that's what you can call him! The m

Poycastle, and Delphine thanks so much for your lovely messages...it is a miserable feeling isn't it!

U2 I think you are probably right. Why do dw always convince ourselves we might be the exception?

The min you try to pin for days , times they go cold , then the ramp up when you back off.

Leave it now and I bet any money he will message you out if the blue to see if your still interested. He is just keeping you warm.

Utter arsr holes and very hurtful!

op chin up! I found dp after being messed around by dick face.

It's summer! Get your best frock on and get out there!! Xx

Sounds like he either wanted you to flatter his ego, just to know you wanted to see him or he is for some reason keeping you in the loop for a time when it suits him.

I never thought of that at all, so sorry that happened to you. It would explain the hot and cold. I just can't believe he would do that to our friendship (well I guess I can but don't want too). I always thought he was one of the good guys!

It's a really selfish shifty thing to do if that's what it is!!

He said all these lovely things too, like he would never lie to me or bullshit me and that he means everything he says. Although why would you need to say that if you were telling the truth...seems unnecessary. I feel played big time. I know I need to get over if bit I just feel really angry at the moment!

Oh god don't get me started !!

My ex did all the running, then went silent , was really busy at work for a whole week! Couldn't even text, then he had terrible food poisoning for another week and couldn't text then.

If they wanted to they would! I was a sucker though and fell for his shot loads of times because I really liked him and thought he could be telling the truth.

He was lying as I cought him out.

Plenty more fish in the sea !

For some -men- people telling the truth is just too hard. So when asked, they say yes I'd love to go to see a film. But their actions speak their true feelings, ie they're not arsed.

It's horrible isn't it. Please don't text him again. All you'll get is more of the same. His actions are showing how he wants to proceed. If you don't text him, he won't text you with any more half arsed intentions.

What advice would you give a friend right now, that was going through this?

Men that can bare face lie to your face will never be happy with anyone, because they don't respect themselves.

Also op you might have bumped in to a sociopath. Google it see if it fits.

You're right. I'd tell a friend to move on and not look back. In the back of my mind I keep making excuses for him though. Maybe he was just about to text me when I texted him to call it off. It's stupid. We've just been friends for such a king time I can't believe he would do this.

He's keeping his options open OP.

Never make a priority of any one who makes you an option.

I know how painful it is, but he is turning out to be a waste of your time.
Time to move on methinks. Life is too short for this malarkey.

Had a look! I don't think he is a sociopath. He's generally a really kind, friendly person who gets along with everyone. Maybe he just has commitment issues?

I love that quote greenrexine.am going to copy that out. It can be my new mantra!

Maybe I'm projecting!

Still fuck him. If he was into you he would be begging for a date.

You can't find some one that truely adores you if your hanging about for some one else .

I really want to text him and tell him what I think of him. Get it off my chest.

Thanks softly softly!