Attractive women with not so attractive men??

[positively9something]

I have noticed that there seems to be a lot of attractive women married to not so attractive men. I'm not saying they are not lovely guys I'm guessing they probably are.

The reason I am mentioning this is because I had a date yesterday with a guy that was really nice and down to earth, looks wise he isn't my type. I normally go for big muscly guys, he is short and looks like he doesn't work out. He seems really nice and I'm just thinking that a lot of women go for the not so attractive type of guys.

I know that relationships are not based on looks and it must be about personality but

It took me half an hour to realise what I had written joy and then I thought "oh well, nobody has read it anyway"!

I am sure there have been threads were posters have said they didn't want to work and the fact their DH earned more than them was important to them. I think that answers your question - money more important than looks for many women.

A guy who spends a lot of time working out doesn't particularly do it for me. I'll not pretend that I'm an overly "attractive" woman, though.

When I was in my twenties, there was obvious distinction between the guys who had looks and those who didn't. Now in my forties, guess what? They all look the same!! And my friends who went for kindness, intelligence, ambition, they're the ones still married.. The ones who went for looks alone are long divorced, some now happily remarried to the latter!

Sorry that should be the former!

Well, I went for looks and 20+ years later we are still happily married (and he is still hot).

I'd say a good lot of them find their lesser attractive partners attractive, as there will be women who are with their partners because of the bank balance. You can surmise which couples belong to which group, but you can't be too sure either.

There's a couple who have children in my children's school who when I saw them together did (I'm ashamed to say) very raised in the eyebrows. He's about a foot shorter than her, seems to be about twenty years older and firmly in the not attractive branch. She's plasticly perfect, always done up and dressed to the nines. They could be together for love, but he is extremely wealthy, with all the trappings. So who knows, apart from them?

Moin - they probably love each other. Is that too hard to comprehend,

OP, part of the reason is because different physical attributes appeal to different people. For example, 'big muscly guys' make me want to vom, and I can't imagine ever finding someone who looks like that attractive.

I don't know, I suppose you could say that both ways, I've seen a lot of good looking men with not so good looking women. That's how it is here to my DH is gorgeous and I suppose I can scrub up not too bad if I really really try (which I never do) but he always says he wishes I could see myself through his eyes. There has to be an attraction but I suppose not everybody sees it

I'm a minger - and fat - but I've always had loads of boyfriends. Some gorgeous ones too, that everyone fancied. I have a strong intellect and a strong (bossy) personality. Some men (weirdly) are very attracted to that. I suppose a slight S&M thing.

I'm not an ugly woman but not really beautiful either but all my life from teens even to now at 45, I have never been short of male attention. Probably due confidence around the opposite sex.

I think my husband is cute rather than handsome and he has had comments about punching above his weight/cradle snatching (only 12 years between us).

I can only speak personally, as a decidedly average looking bloke. However,

i'm funnier than Eddie Izzard, More caring than a bloke who rescues dolphins from captivity, my poetry knocks Simon Armitage into a cocked hat, Heston calls me up for recipe tips and I'm a better shag than Brad Pitt after a month in a monastery.

I have no idea why I'm always with drop dead gorgeous women!

Attractive is so much more than looks.

Also, play the long game. Check out the middle-aged men around you. They all look pretty much the same. With a very few notable exceptions, (yes, you George) you would be hard pushed to spot the ones who were hotties in the day.

I know what you mean running!

I went out with a pretty (physically) unattractive bloke and I'm not bad looking. First time I met him I though 'Eww...not really' but then he grew on me cos he had a GSOH and we had a lot of fun. Turned out to be a psycho...but that's another story...

@slimsoon

Sadly, from my experience this is very true.

For most of my 20s I was a not completely unattractive rugby playing skint but happy graduate engineer. I dated like most people that age with varying degrees of success but it was only when my career finally took off in my early 30s and I started to get some money and I could afford to buy myself my own home and have some semblance of financial security did I suddenly find myself being ‘attractive’. I don’t think I had changed massively, no sudden change of personality or some overnight transformation into a Mens Health cover model, but I definitely noticed that some very attractive women were being a bit more proactive in chatting me up which was a previously largely unknown phenomenon. It actually kind of annoyed me, some of these women I had known for years or had rejected my advances in the past, yet suddenly I was desirable. Made me all a bit cynical and depressed to be honest. Ended up internet dating and bullshitting my salary/income details which seemed to do the trick of eliminating all the gold diggers. Now married to an awesome women.

Women can make themselves appear more attractive with their hair and layers of make up.

Without this are these women really far more attractive than their partners?

I would say my dh is more attractive than me regardless of what people may think. He wakes up looking gorgeous whereas I look very 'tired' without wearing my usual concealer/foundation/ mascara/eyeliner.

Actually there are a couple of men who live near me who are gorgeous but their partners are more average looking...I think they've aged well...(...it's just an observation!)

And vice versa.

As for women with less attractive men, good looks aren't that often something women go for. Some women are more attracted to masculinity which some think can involve being a bit on the heavy and balding side. Some women put a good job and career path and ambition ahead of looks. Some women want to be adored, not fighting off admirers for her man.

brokenhearted55a I have found it the other way around: last two times I've been dumped ....I've been left for really ugly women. One looked about 10 years older than me. One was 3 times my width. These were not bad looking guys either. Good jobs etc.

For some reason, a lot of DH's work colleagues embrace the very plain wife/girlfriend without job and with weight issues and sour face and no attempt at conversation type.

I do wonder whether they lack confidence with women and want a safe bet who will be pleased to settle down and not challenge them too much. I must admit I would struggle with a partner very different from myself in terms of education and shared interests.