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Original poster

Work and relationship

64 replies

Sylviasfamily · 30/05/2014 20:37

I don't want to give too many specifics but I would like to see what other people think about this scenario.

One male boss and female subordinate. They have partners and are in long term relationships separately. He is 40 and she is 30 going on 16.

They are always at each other's desks, joking and laughing. He has jokes with her about him being her favourite. She says she would only attend work do if he is coming too. He calls her naughty. She talks about him all the time, and knows his diary like the back of her hand. He also touches/shakes the back of her chair which seems a little weird as he does it to nobody else.

Is there something going on between these two?

OP posts:
JohnFarleysRuskin · 30/05/2014 20:45

Ime, the moment they stop doing all this is when they start shagging.

Original poster
Sylviasfamily · 30/05/2014 20:53

This relationship is not professional, is it?

OP posts:
headlesslambrini · 30/05/2014 20:57

Not professional no. If they dont get a grip then something will happen.

Original poster
Sylviasfamily · 30/05/2014 21:07

I have known him for 10+ years. She is fairly new (1 year) at work.

I have gone out with them separately and both of them do talk about each other.

I think that she is driving the flirting and he is enjoying the attention in a mid life crisis scenario.

Should I get involved and say something? Or let them be, and they will shag and get over it.

OP posts:
wtffgs · 30/05/2014 21:14

It is a tired old scenario.

I would keep out of it unless it has a negative impact on the workplace (sales, targets etc), in which case, HR.

Original poster
Sylviasfamily · 30/05/2014 21:24

I can't call HR on them. I just don't understand why he putting so much on the line for her?

She is a bit of a bitch queen bee, getting people together, organising socials. Very much of a look at me attitude, and he is facilitating this. He has always been professional at work. I just don't get it.She is not even pretty.

OP posts:
Sunbeam18 · 30/05/2014 21:27

Sounds like you are jealous and fancy him?

Humansatnav · 30/05/2014 21:28

Steer clear , this will not end well and the less involved you are the better.

Original poster
Sylviasfamily · 30/05/2014 21:31

I've known him for a very long time. I don't fancy him at all! I am in a loving relationship and I don't cheat thank you very much.

I just can't understand how he thinks what is going on is remotely normal or professional.

I posted because I want to know whether:

  1. They are already shagging
  2. I can do anything to stop this
OP posts:
TheNewSchmoo · 30/05/2014 21:33

You do sound jealous. How is organising social events a bad thing? I organise social events. Doesn't mean I want to Shag my boss

Nunyabiz · 30/05/2014 21:42

Does this affect you in any way?

scottishmummy · 30/05/2014 21:45

Your language regard this lady is v harsh,bitchqueen bee. Youre not impartial

BalloonSlayer · 30/05/2014 21:46

Could you talk to him and alert him to what he is on the brink of? (grammar!) And what he is likely to lose . . .

Viviennemary · 30/05/2014 21:48

It's probably the lead up to an affair. Not exactly unususal in the workplace. Unfortunately.

Original poster
Sylviasfamily · 30/05/2014 21:51

TheNewScmoo Of course, it is a good thing to organise work events. My point is that she wants to be at the centre of everything. He is helping her to do so. He is assigning contracts and work responsibilities to her that she does not have enought experience for. He is happy to do the hard work and let her take the credit for it.

It does not affect me as my work is different to hers. However he is not being professional. He could lose a lot, she can just move on somewhere else. He has more to lose than she does.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 30/05/2014 21:51

Out of interest if both have partners,whys the female getting most derision?
If theyre both shaggers,thats unpleasant.both are equally amiss
No man is lead astray by wanton libidinous woman.people are shaggers cause they are

scottishmummy · 30/05/2014 21:52

So what if he has stuff to lose?how does that render her more ammoral

Preciousbane · 30/05/2014 21:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kalidanger · 30/05/2014 21:53

Have you spoken to him about it? You and him are old friends, right?

Original poster
Sylviasfamily · 30/05/2014 21:54

scottishmum OK, I have not been impartial. I was trying to be. Blush

Viviennemary you think it is not an affair yet? I think I wanted to try understand at what stage they are at.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 30/05/2014 21:57

theyre both adult.shes not more to blame than him.hes not compelled to defend fancy piece
If something going on,theyre both responsible.
Its not your lookout unless you compromised by being friend of his wife?

Original poster
Sylviasfamily · 30/05/2014 21:57

kalidanger She started work about 1 year ago. Things were professional initially. It is only recently that when a group of friends went out and all he was talking about was her. I did not think too much into it, and the next time I went out with her, she kept on talking about it.

I'm sure there must have been other signs before that, but it is since then that I realised how much time they spent together at work.

OP posts:
Humansatnav · 30/05/2014 21:58

Why do you wish to be involved in this ? Your coming across as a controlling drama queen , its none of your business!

Original poster
Sylviasfamily · 30/05/2014 21:58

scottishmummy I think you know the answer to that already. I am friends with his wife.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 30/05/2014 22:01

So you're compromised by knowing the wife and you minimise his actions
But youre quick to be clear hes been lead astray.diddums did she force herself on him
This isnt post about colleagues this is a my mate dh is a shagger post