Despite his promises, I was dumped by the MM (previous thread) who went back to his wife. I thought I was at an all time low then but in the aftermath, i've stooped to new levels. I did the whole 'don't contact me ever again' spiel only to go back on it the minute he messaged me. Since then he has sent me vague messages about how he's getting on, and each time I reply with a heartfelt deluge of feelings. It's got to the point now where he asks me to meet him and i'm there in a shot, just for him to moan on about work while inside I am in pieces about what happened. I know the script is that this will result in a 'shag' or whatever but that is not what he wants, he says things are 'ok' at home. I am the one now chasing for more. I have asked him to meet in the evening but he said no because of his family.
I want to go no contact but my heart isn't in it, though I feel so angry with myself. Even if I told him no contact now he wouldn't believe me - I said this last time we met and he said he knew 'we' couldn't keep that up, almost laughing.
I know the damage is done. Can I get any dignity back out of this situation? What is wrong with me?? The old pre-affair me would be furious with myself and I would be disgusted with any of my friends for behaving this way.