Sex, rejection, pornography....

[seabream]

I need some help so I can work out if I'm justified in feeling as hurt as I am. My partner rejected me sexually, said he wasn't interested, and has done this quite a bit recently. I have a decent figure (size 8, good boobs etc), but I might as well be completely invisible. He hardly glances at me, and doesn't really touch me.
But then this morning I discover that he has been googling naked photos of girls and looking at porn.
It's hurt me to the core but I have no way of knowing whether I'm being totally ridiculous (which would be characteristic of me), and how on earth I would speak to him about it, or even if I should. All I know is that its made me feel like shit, like I'm the least desirable person in the world. He says he loves me all the time, does lovely things for me, and we do have sex, and it is great. But it has been dropping off lately, and while he's quick to point out my flaws - as in "ohh, you've got a spot on your chin", I can't actually remember the last time he complimented me or showed attraction to me. We've been together two years.

I'm very surprised anyone could read my post and claim I was 'bigging it up'. Those are just the facts of the situation and nature of the industry. A lot of the time you're watching a gay man (who is there for money) have sex with a lesbian (who is there for money). It is so artificial and inauthentic that this makes not a jot of difference to anyone involved and is quite common. I'm not sure why anyone would want to elevate something like that and I certainly haven't.

If you want to advise others to judge themselves against porn or to try and compete with it in word, deed or 'stance' then knock yourself out but its a fool's errand and you're just hurting yourself. Its a classic case of a situation where you think you are "fighting back" against something but all you're really doing is renting space out to it in your head that it certainly doesn't deserve.

PO, you are trying to tell women how to feel.

Classic mansplaining there. I don't care how you feel about porn. Why don't you try to understand how others feel about it ? Like the OP ? Remember her ? She has an opinion on how it is currently affecting her life in a negative way...she doesn't need to see people like you dismissing her feelings as so much "nothing".

What if you find out he is actually using prostitutes?