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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My absent mother - need some advice though I'm already NC

2 replies

Weegiemum · 26/05/2014 20:18

My mother left our family - with my dad's best friend - when I was 12.

Even before that I was pretty sure she didn't like me as I "preferred" my dad (who was great).

I tried after my dc were born, but it was all on her terms. When they were "too old" my mum gave up. She loved babies/toddlers but beyond that wasn't interested.

She blanked them at my brothers wedding last October. I knew (from bitter experience) that she'd blank me, but her attitude to my wonderful dc, her Grandchildren, was the end for me. She blanked out my awesome (then) 13yo dd who had done a reading in the ceremony - by comparing my dsis's step children.

I can't see another situation in which I'd have to see my mum. I'm very glad of that!

OP posts:
IscreamUscream · 26/05/2014 20:41

Please stay NC with her,she sounds bitter and toxic and will never change and you and dc are better off without her. Concentrate on taking care and moving in from her.

FolkGirl · 27/05/2014 04:58

I've been NC with my mother for just over 2 years.

With every day that passes the effects of her toxicity lessen slightly. She's one day further away from me and I've never been happier.

My children are happier, too. They won't have her name mentioned and they don't even know why we don't see her (can't tell them for legal reasons and because they're too young to cope with the enormity of it). But they trust that I have good reason for it, and they didn't particularly like her anyway Sad

Stay strong, stay NC and good luck for the future.

What is it you needed advice on, specifically?

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