How does a guy find the right girl

[seekingsoulmate]

Hi all, wondered if anyone could offer me some advice. I'm a 35 year old guy, positive approach to life, good company and romantic, and a bit shy. I'm a really decent and genuine guy but I'm pretty lonely and want to try and get my personal life to actually work! I could do with a bit of advice on finding the right girl for me, I've dated and want to do so again, just could do with a few tips.

[NearTheWindymill]

I love being called a girl and I'm 54.

OP I think you find the right one when you stop looking so hard and stop being anxious about it. You might find the right one you might not but either way you need to ensure your life is fulfilling and that you have interests other than work. I'd stop looking if I were you and set yourself some other goals.

Read a good book once a month (gives you a topic of conversation)
Make sure you watch a new film/play once a month - go on your own if you have to (gives you a topic of conversation)
Learn something new: Bridge, the piano - anything that takes your fancy
Join something - book club, wine society, tennis club, church, political party, amnesty international.

Funnily enough if you have interests you love and pursue you are likely to find someone like minded and be far more successful at meeting someone than through a dating site.

[Smilesandpiles]

After reading these answers I wouldn't be surprised if the poor bugger decided to stay single.

[FolkGirl]

smile

[NotNewButNameChanged]

Near I am never sure about the cliché of "when you stop looking so hard it usually happens" sort of advice because while, obviously, it has happened to people, if you want a new job, or a new car, or a new house, or a new hobby, you have to go out and find them. Very rarely has anyone said that if you want a new job, stop looking, and one will magically appear!

The usual advice is always join more clubs, do more things, you are more likely to meet someone that way. When the truth is that the whole thing is LUCK. Sorry, but it is. I know people who have been single for years, do not give off bad or desperate vibes, are fascinating, attractive, belong to umpteen clubs but never ever meet anyone single or available. I know people who've done online dating and rarely got a date, people who've been on loads of dates but never clicked with one person and someone who met their now husband on their first ever online date.

[NearTheWindymill]

But at least if you focus on other things, you make a satisfying life for yourself when you get a partner or not. I may be biased. I met my DH when I had given up men and was inundated with dates 27 years ago when I was young and slim. Eek - that means I've almost been with DH for half of my whole life