Sex issues after childbirth

[Gatsbycluster]

My partner complains a lot when we're having sex missionary style. He keeps on talking about it feels just like having sex with a warm shepherds pie.
He bought me some Luna balls (?) and I reacted with a literal 'wtf'.

I would present him with a warm shepherds pie, garnished with his balls..... (Luna or otherwise) ... and tell him to shove his complaints

Erm, how many shepherds pies has he had sex with to compare?

It's comparable to having a erect penis the size of a worm inserted into a normal sugar bush.

What a catch. Congratulations.

I quite like shepherds pie.

I made a joke of your problem earlier and I shouldn't have as your likely quite upset by your husbands words. It's likely that things are a bit slack after childbirth and sex may not be the same for you both since but the way he's gone about it is pretty awful. There are plenty of positions to give better stimulation during intercourse. Missionary is probably the worst of all with your legs spread wide.

You should likely tell him what he said has hurt you and he should apologise and then it's up to you if you feel like you want to help improve things for you both.

Apologies... Partner not husband.

His choice of words is appalling, as is buying you a gift of toning balls. Has he suggested any positions he does find stimulating? not that you are likely to want to have sex with him after being compared to shepherd's pie

Tell him to go and have sex with an actual shepherd's pie, since you won't be having sex with him until he can talk to you with respect.

There's one thing for sure...... I bet you'll never make him a shepherds pie again!