Background - together 3&bit years. I'd been in a 20yr EA marriage he'd been a player for 15yrs after divorce from unfaithful wife .... we took it really slowly - I didn't introduce him to my children until we'd been seeing each other for over a year.
Started talking about him moving in with us about this time last year and planned to do it in October (2013) with his place being rented out. Then in August he became seriously ill and after a life saving op couldn't go home alone so moved straight in with us. It was difficult to start with but we all soon got used to it and he's made a remarkable recovery. We've got engaged and he's recently booked (and paid for - a considerable sum) a holiday for us, my children & his two daughters (both early 20's).
This morning he's gone away for two nights with work. I went to log into Facebook on shared computer to find him still logged in and this conversation showing (sorry it's long!)
Conversation started 31 March 2012
HIM: 31/03/2012 11:33
Hi Sxxxx
It was as lovely as it was unexpected to see you in the pub on Friday night. I hope I didn't disturb your evening, but I had to say hello.
I have to go to Cyprus soon but wondered ... would you like to catch up over coffee sometime?
Nl x
HIM: 26/04/2013 16:13
Hi Sxxxx
Weird to think it's a year since we bumped into each other in the Prince of Wales. I wasn't ever going to follow up but just saw you today having a (very late!) lunch with another lady in a restaurant at the foot of road. Actually almost said hello, but then wondered if it was your Mum maybe, and didn't want to intrude / cause you to have to explain everything to her.
Now I'm home, I wish I'd said hello of course. Hence this message. You know, it's seventeen years since our summer romance. Seems forever ago, and yet also just a few months. How weird time is.
I'm actually on the verge of a pretty big decision. You know how it is... You know you will look back one day and recognise this was a big turning point, but of course THEN you'll also know what the right decision should have been ! Unfortunately it's now when you've got to got to make the damned decision !
I guess you decided not to go to Australia? Maybe you're living happily ever after with your Terence Trent D'Arby lookalike (couldn't resist ) or maybe you've moved on. I'd love to know. It feels like we had a great story but we never got to read the last page.
Whatever happens, I do hope you're happy. You still looked charming and elegant at lunch
N
Sxxx: 07/04/2014 17:20
Hi N, I'm so sorry for not responding, I've only just found your messages. Facebook is still a bit of a mystery to me…and I don't come on very often. I went to Australia last year, finally got the visa, but only stayed for 3 months.
How was your decision….did you make the right choice? I'm with Terence and very happy….hence I didn't leave blighty. Seventeen years….gosh, time has flown. I hope you're well and enjoying life. It was nice to bump into you, you haven't changed.
S x
HIM:18/05/2014 13:32
No, I don't use FB much either... but it was good to hear from you. well, it's 18 years now, and yes, I made the right decision, moving in with Axxxxx after a lot of soul-searching. Didn't think you'd changed either... but I'm pleased you're happy. Maybe we'll meet again sometime, who knows? You take care, N
HIM; 18/05/2014 13:40
ps jus re-read that and it sounds a bit like a christmas card greeting to a distant friend. There is more I could say, of course, but I've made a choice. I guess I'm saying I shouldn't have got in touch but it was still really good to hear you're happy. I really wish you every happiness in life - and lots and lots of happy chistmasses to come of course!!
HIM:18/05/2014 14:46
OK one last go.
I’ve just re-read again and it now sounds like I thought I could click my fingers and somehow rekindle an old flame. Er, no,.!
All I’ve been trying to say Sxxxx, is – you and I ended so suddenly then it was like you fell off the world, and I’d love to know what happened next. I’d love to have a coffee and tell you what happened to me too. We had this wonderful moment in the sun and it seems weird to have just airbrushed it out of history.
But I realise now that that get-together can’t really happen as, even if you’d still like to do it (admittedly unlikely after these mad ramblings), the person I’m with might not see it that way, and I couldn’t possibly do that to her, as well, I owe her such a lot (including nursing me back to health after my very nearly dying last year).
Anyway, I’m well now, in fact something of a health nut (long-distance running etc!), who’d have thought??
And I’d like to wish you well properly, and hope that, if we ever do bump into each other again, it will be as friends.
N x
Sxxx: 18/05/2014 14:52
Hi N, it's good to gear from you, I'm so sorry to hear you were ill last year. It sounds like you've been through the wars. It has been a long time, and yes we both have stories! I'm so glad you found someone you care about, and who obviously cares about you. I'm sure we'll bump into each other at some point, I'm back in the UK now after a bit of travelling. Getting married next year! I wish you all the very best in the world too. Sx
HIM: 18/05/2014 14:57
That's wonderful news Sxxx, many sincere congratulations, N x
Sxxx:18/05/2014 15:03
Thank you x
Now I feel curiously unemotional about this ..... what do you think? The only thing that bothers me is that he didn't say that he's getting married too.