But we are still going to live together.
I work in a job that involves me working out of the house at night a lot, I also have sport activities which mean that I would find it very hard to be a single parent, I wouldn't be able to fulfil my current commitments at all and would have to give up work.
But we are over as a couple, he hasn't been sexual attracted to me for many years, ever I don't think to be honest and I have suffered tremendous self confidence issues as a result of the lack of sex and intimacy.
Its all come out now, we are good friends and we have this perfect life, family and home. It all works so well but clearly I am so repugnant that actually trying to make it work intimately with me is not worth what we lose if that isn't there.
So we've decided to just live together for a time, until I am trained and can change jobs or until he decides he wants to move out. I don't see either of us finding other partners, he is my partner but he doesn't love me. I can't really see a way out of that.
A huge part of me wants him to just grab me and hold me and tell me that he loves me passionately and that we can have it all but I know that we can't. I know that it is over and has been for a long time.
So close to having it all, this perfect life with a perfect man and perfect family. Just out of my reach.
I feel like such a failure, I find it hard to watch TV and listen to music because I yearn so much for love, to think that nobody will ever want to just fuck me rotten or hold me and carass me.
My husband has never kissed my body or undressed me slowly, he is only interested in the orgasm and I have found that really hard. I think the more we learn each other the better it will be but he has never wanted that.
I am so sad and sorry that it has to be like this. I need advice from others who have separated but lived in the same house? I will take extra shifts at work so I am away more so I will barely have to be here but we only have two bedrooms so I will have to share a bed with him.