I think I'm meant to be alone - do I let dp go?

[Sampanther]

I've been married before, which was a massive mistake. My exH was abusive in every way and a drinker. I've been with my now dp for over 5 yrs. I can completely trust him, he is a kind and thoughtful man and focussed on the children and I. He couldn't be any more opposite to my exH. He has never done anything wrong or criticised me or been horrible in any way.

However, I increasingly feel suffocated by being in a relationship. He tells me he loves me at least twenty times per day, in person and by text. He wants to text all day and I'd prefer if we didn't and just discussed our day in the evening. Whenever I stand or sit still without a child on me for longer than ten seconds he's trying to lay on me or cuddle or kiss me. At night he wants to lay nose to nose or stroking my face and sometimes I feel like screaming for him to give me some personal space.

He has a lot of weekdays off but never anything he wants to do. When he worked away I'd take dd to toddler groups, swimming, the park etc but also have days indoors painting and playing. If he's off he'll follow me wherever I go and whatever I do, literally from room to room and foot by foot at toddler groups/the pool. He's constantly trying to talk to me and not dd.

When he works away I'm more than happy to have busy days with the kids and go to bed and read. It's a relief to not have to go downstairs and have him all over me declaring his undying love. I find him very attractive physically but find the constant touching and 'i love yous' a turn off.

I feel like if I can't be happy with him then I'll never be happy with anyone because he's pretty much great all round. Is it kinder to let him go and resign myself to being single? I love him but admit I'm happier knowing the kids and I are going home to an empty house than to him, and it seems like the kids are too.

[RandomMess]

You need to talk. Explain to him blunty that whilst you have young dc you feel completely "touched out" that by the time dd has taken what she needs from you physically you need major space to keep sane. It is a common issue when you have pre-schoolers.

What SGB is completely valid though. How he reacts to your calmly explained need for space will tell you everything you need to know.