AIBU in thinking this is so not fair?

[dripty]

Admittedly I am the one wanting to separate and get a divorce. But STBX is massively better off financially than me, howeverI am the one who is going to have to scrimp and borrow money from family members in order to get rid of him.
Solicitor has informed me that the basic divorce will cost £400 but with finances and DCs involved it will be much more.
Can't really see how I am ever going to be able to go through with this.
Ant advice welcome.

AIBU may not be the best place for advice. Try relationships or legal.
I hope you get it sorted OP

my divorce cost me nearly £4000 but was worth every penny

Not a lawyer, hopefully others with more knowledge of the law will be along soon. But: if you want rid of your H because he is abusive talk to Women's Aid. It may be possible to get legal aid for divorce if the man is abusive, particularly if he is financially abusive and that's why you have no momey.

Oops you are in relationships!!

Sorry the AIBU in your title confused me.

I was in the same situation as you and I'm afraid my divorce cost more than this and took 5+ years too. But I paid for it out of equity and it was well worth every penny.

When you say you paid out of equity do you mean you did not pay anything until the house was sold?
Not abusive so no legal aid afraid.

Are there no joint finances you could use?

STBX doesn't do "joint finances" which is one of the reasons for the split

If he is withholding family money from you then he is abusive.

You should def get advice from Women's Aid.

Don't panic. Paying for your legal fees out of the equity means that quite a few solicitors are happy for you to pay their bill out of the financial settlement rather than up front. If your STBXH is well off it doesn't matter if the money is in his sole name rather than joint names. Money, property and other assets acquired during the marriage is regarded as 'marital assets' and the starting point is to assume a 50/50 split. I say assumption because every case is different and people often reach their own arrangements .

So don't let money stand in your way. Talk to your solicitor, reach an agreement and then - as they say in the states - sue his ass off!!!