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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

help with situation please

6 replies

lashie08 · 20/04/2014 20:13

Hello, I have never used this website before but often find myself browsing looking for answers to things ive googled!! I am a google fiend! I just wanted to post this and see if anyone knew anything that could help my situation. I have been with my partner for 7 years and we have 2 children together, 5 and 6. Our relationship has broken down over time and I am unhappy and want things to come to an end. He treats me very poorly and I have let him for years but I feel for the first time in my life I am ready to break free for the happiness of me and my children. He puts me down alot and swears at me a lot, in front of the kids and lost his job for aggressive behavior, he plays on the computer from 11 in the morning when he rolls out of bed until 11 at night when he comes to bed. This is not an over exaggeration, he plays on the pc at the dinner table and me and kids sit and eat tea in the living room because he wont move. He is making my life hell.
My problem is this, we live in a rented place and both names are on the tenancy and he has flatly refused to leave but I live a 4 minute walk from our childrens school and dont want to uproot and leave our home for the sake of disrupting the kids, I really dont know what to do, I went to the council and they were no help at all, I just feel completely stuck and like I am going crazy!? Any advice or guidance would be appreciated so much. Thank you in advance xxxx

OP posts:
Jellykat · 20/04/2014 21:19

Hi and welcome to MN Smile

I'm not sure i'll be much help, but didn't want to leave you unanswered..
Firstly well done at getting to the point of making plans to start a new life without what sounds like a helluva pain in the backside!

I presume you don't have the money for a deposit for a new place?
Do you work, are you on Housing Ben?
I'm thinking if your partner lost his job and presumably your place is a 2/3 bed roomed, he wouldn't be able to pay the rent if you left anyway?

lashie08 · 20/04/2014 21:38

Thank you for the reply! I am looking for work at the moment but have basically relied on him to support us but he's bee out of work for coming up 5 months, I receive housing ben, if he left me and the kids could get the help but if we left he would be booted out anyway for lack of rent cos he couldn't do it without us, I have explained this to me but he just tells me to 'fuck off' or says 'ah whatever man' and completely blanks what I am saying and continues what he's doing!!! X

OP posts:
Jellykat · 20/04/2014 22:03

God, he sounds like a knobend! He really isn't going to budge is he?

I'm wondering about help with getting a deposit together.. loans from the Social fund or something - depends on where you are i guess, have you looked into the possibility?

SpringItOn · 20/04/2014 22:13

Hi there lassie, you'll get more responses if you ask MNHQ to move this thread to relationships. There are some really helpful posters there who know their stuff.

If you click to the right of your own op, on 'report' ask them to move it.

Good on you for making this decision, you will get there Smile

lashie08 · 20/04/2014 23:11

I haven't looked into that but definitely something il look into! Thanks for the idea, no way is he going to budge so looks like I'm going to have to make the move!! Xx

OP posts:
lashie08 · 20/04/2014 23:12

Thank you I will do that! Xx

OP posts:
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