Stop thinking about him for a minute and think about you? What is it you want? How do you want to be treated?
If you picture your relationship in a year's time, how will it look in an ideal world? How will it look if things stay the same? What are the differences between the two?
You can't change him, but you can control your own behaviour. You know he's not going to talk to you when he puts a pillow over his head - have you ever just stopped and walked away and don't talk to him? I know the issue will still need dealing with, but yelling at him isn't likely to achieve that, so maybe leaving him and talking it over when you've both had a bit of time in different rooms will help. Do something different in that time, like some gardening or a drink with a friend or go for a swim. Just try something completely different from the silence/yelling/silence pattern for once and see how it changes things.
He may behave that way because he's no good at conflict. I was hit when I was a teenager, and it took me two decades to be able to be somewhere an argument was kicking off without getting shaky and my mouth drying up to the point I literally couldn't speak. If I was directly involved, I would feel sick and get tearful. I therefore avoided conflict at nearly all costs. Maybe your husband reacts like this in some way, so he physically can't handle it at that point? (It might not be - he might just be an emotional bully, in which case, I think you should probably not try to fix anything, as it's unlikely to work.)
If it's difficult to get a dialogue going, because he won't engage, can you write down what you need to say, and give him a letter or email that he can read when he takes the pillow off.
I don't know if any of this will work, but carrying on in the same pattern clearly isn't, so try different things - but to do that, you need to work out what you want for you, what things are good to have but not essential, and what things are essential and you can't comprise on. Things won't change overnight, whatever you do, and improvement is rarely straight forward - there will be some backward steps, but as long as there are more forward ones, you'll still progress in the right direction. And if you're not doing that, then you know it's time to cut your losses.