How should you feel about the prospect of a date?

[Bananasandnutella]

So the other day I posted about how much I was 'struggling' with OD. Well since then I've been messaging a few chaps. The guys I really like kind of don't message me back, but my skin's getting better.

Anyway, the ones I am chatting with regularly are ones who are a good 5 years older than me (I'm 31) and look 'old' for their age. I am a young 31 in body and spirit.

I'm going on a date tomorrow and I just feel a bit 'meh' about it as it kind of feels like I'm going on a date with my 'dad'.

Am I just freaking out because I've never been on a OD date??

I sound shallow unintentionally. What I'm trying to say is that the men just seem so much more older and grown up than me, whereas I'm really young at heart.

You don't sound keen. It should feel better than 'meh' at least.

That's what I thought. We've been texting and it just really feels like I'm speaking to my dad.

He just seems a bit boring.

I surely should be excited? Albeit a little nervous

Who suggested the date, you or him?

I wouldn't bother. Go out with your dad instead.

Him. But it was quite quick in to our messaging, so before I'd really got to know much about him. I'm still finding my OD feet.

It's not compulsory to go you know. If you feel uncomfortable talking via text, I would imagine it won't be a bundle of laughs on the actual date. You owe him nothing, so don't feel pressurised to go.

I think you would feel excited if you fancied him...I've got a date on Weds with someone I met on Tinder, he's younger than me and looks really nice, so I am excited!

I suppose that's it. If I fancied him a little bit id be excited wouldn't i. Texting him is easy but boring, no laughs, just very sensible!

I'm also new to it.
Have also met a guy 8 years older than me, however I find him interesting, funny, easy to talk to and there's lots I like about him.

I think from what you've said this guy isn't for you. I know what you mean though, some people (even young fit ones) are just boring and it's too much effort.
Try to not focus on age etc just go with who's fun, makes you laugh, keeps you interested

My partner is 9 years older than me, not boring, not sensible and plenty of laughs. Even if you go on a date with an older guy, they're not all 'Dad' like, it just sounds like this particular one is. Keep looking Bananasandnutella.

Thanks. I'm trying not to think of age. I did chat to a guy 8 years older and he felt easier to talk to.

So, how do I kindly let this guy down?

Just be honest and straight

'Its been nice chatting but I don't want to take this any further, good luck on here'

You need to have a bit of banter and a laugh on text, not just just boring conversation.

Tell him tonight that you won't be meeting him tomorrow. Just say that you'd rather not take it any further. Wish him luck. And close your eyes when you press send, if it'll make you feel better. Good luck.

Why am I too scared?? I must man up

It's a horrible feeling intit? Why are you scared, are you afraid you'll offend him by calling off the date? A man you've never met and who you really aren't fussy about meeting. Have you decided if you are going on the date or not?

I don't want to offend. I have a habit of doing things I don't want to do just to keep peace.

No I'm not going to go. If I had a can't wait to meet him feeling going on I wouldn't have wanted to...

OD is scary, because you don't get to see the guy in RL before you meet him! I'm such a wuss about it.

I'm 37 now, got to find a boyfriend but I hate the whole process! I wish I could just meet a guy at the gym; get chatting and the rest would be history but it's proving to be difficult - so OD it is.

I'm sorry you feel awkward, but you know you'll not sleep tonight for worrying. If you were really looking forward to seeing him, you wouldn't be able to sleep for excitement. Don't feel bad, it doesn't make you a horrible person doing what makes you happy, it just makes you a happy person.

The people I know who have been successful with online dating have all just put a lot of time into just meeting up with people and seeing if they clicked in person. Admitedly they had a few hairy moments but they just toughed it out and met someone eventually. I think even if this 1st date is practice then do it just make sure you stay safe.

Another think I would say is men you don't find attractive in the pictures you might just like them in the flesh.