The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Springing Into Spring Like Super Spingy Springs On A Springy Day!

[Mouseface]

Hello everyone, I'm Mouse :)

Welcome to the Bus, Gerald. Of course it's an imaginary Bus, and we're all aware of that, but we've been on this Bus for a bloomin' long time now so this place kinda feels like home.

See, the thing is, we're a mix of drinkers, non drinkers, total abstainers, and also posters that are or have been, somewhere in between, around the block and back again!

There are no hard and fast rules here, just No judging, No bitching about others and most certainly No expectations of YOURSELF.

No-one can say what will or will not happen whilst you're posting here. You just have to take the ride, One Day At A Time.

There are two sayings that we have painted down either side of the Bus :-

1. • The Vulnerable Need Our Support, Not Our Judgement
2. • Alcohol Fosters Inertia

You've started to read this thread for a reason, and you'll either carry on and maybe Name Change (or not) and post, walk away, or realise that this is all about YOU, cry for a bit, and then come and take a seat :)

For those who would like a bit of our almost 4 year history, have a read of THIS TRULY INSPIRING THREAD

- AND THIS IS OUR PREVIOUS THREAD TO THIS ONE

We're not a quiche or a clicky group, four years is a long time and longer when you're pissed for some of it, so whilst the threads may look 'clicky', I can promise you, it's just that we all 'know' one another because we've been here for a bit but you'll soon get to know us all, who loves what (CHEEEEEEEESE), but we were all 'new posters' at one time, weren't we? :)

Hello Bus people, can i join? just been to my second Action for Addiction session and was nearly sick with worry. Would i be the only female? will anyone at the group therapy talk too me? i am going to a RAMP meeting on Tuesday, and am so bloody scared, my counsellour is bloody brilliant, after seeing four or five different ones we clicked and i felt i could tell him everything, childhoood abuse, emotional abuse with boyfriends, he just seemed to "get me" if that is the phrase, i am due to go to the first meeting on Tuesday but am terrified there will be nobody i can sit with, meet first ,ect, i really,really want to go but im scared i will just get the bottle of Vodka out and chicken out , please help with stories of your first rehab/ having to talk to other sufferers and advice? thanks so much .

Sorry I've not been around, just tired and busy. All my blood tests came back normal, so god knows what's wrong with me. Was pretty sure it was peri-menopause, but perhaps its just all in my head.

Am generally managing to stick to drinking at weekends, but it's hard work! Yes it would be easier to quit completely, and take away the constant obsessing over it.

hey baby, I went to NA/AA for years and the first meetings are always the worst. What you will find is that other addicts/alcoholics are (shock horror) people just like you and me :) they won't be bums off the street, they won't be old, or covered in needle tracks (most of the time) in general you will meet people who will shock you with how 'normal' they are.

I'm having a wobbly ride at the moment, hence getting on the bus. But what I can tell you is that people I met through recovery and treatment are now my kids godparents, my best friends, my favourite people to spend time with. Interesting, intelligent, quirky, funny, adventurous, oh - and addicts of one kind or another, in recovery.

Don't be afraid. It's a good gang to be in. You will be surprised. Once people are working on getting better, incredible things happen and the extraordinary, wonderful people they are (and we are) gets a chance to resurface. Not one of them will be any less scared than you are either - and they get to meet you! Which is lovely. Because you're not scary or weird are you?

XX

Thanks Netnaf, i am at that inbetween stage where i know i need help but am terrified about that help, i will go to my Tuesday meeting now, i know that , hope you are okay and thank you for posting x

Hi babes quick check in, been a bit busy but everything is on an even keel. It was dd2's birthday, my mother brought wine, I had two glasses then switched to coffee. I don't know if I'd have been as restrained if it was the weekend but I would agree with hope that it's easier to drink 'normally' when the stress factors are removed.

I've been to the gym this morning, I really want to slim down my thighs. I tried running for the first time in about ten years, I don't know if that'll help but my usual routine isn't working. I've stocked up on fruit and veg and lower alcohol wine for the weekend - 5.5% - which is lower calorie too. I feel like I'm slowly joining the dots, exexercise more, drink less, eat better.

Hi babycow welcome to the bus :)

Welcome babycow!

Sober well done on making it through Friday night!

Anne I so want to be able to have just 2 glasses... And joey I'd love to be able to stick to weekends. One good week behind me (after a period of drinking way too much every night) - I'm scared of how this w/e will pan out...

Trying to gather my strength for Friday night. Day 6 AF which is bloody brilliant for me, and I haven't even felt the pull of the WW but I know I will tonight. I've just been soo tired all week - why am I still so tired when I'm sleeping better? Must try those vitamin supplements. Today is my day off and I had lots of constructive plans - but as soon as I'd taken dc's to school I went straight back to bed and slept for another 3 hours. Now feeling super guilty (what else is new).

Babyjane I love what you wrote about starting to like yourself again - that's where I want to get to! I just want to feel like a great wife, mother, friend and colleague again. This week has been much better, but I'm frustrated that I still feel so below par. But one step at a time, right?

Big wave to rural, nefnaf, ma and anyone else I've missed. Feels like I'm starting to get to know you already :)

Afternoon babes, am aiming for an alcohol free weekend but am going to take it a day at a time, maybe even an hour at a time. Need to tackle the clutter in my house and try and make my garden look like a garden and not a jungle

nefnaf love love love your post to babycow, I love how the babes on this bus can show such compassion and warmth to people we would walk past in the street never knowing we were kindred spirits, it really makes me very proud and relieved to have found you all. heffa your doing great, I never thought I'd make it this far and I can't say I will never drink again but having tackled my depression head on and the associated stress I hope that I can enjoy it socially like a "normal" person. I bought myself some new clothes today and got my nails done, I don't quite love myself but I don't hate myself either and that'll do for today and tomorrow will take care of itself. Big scottish hug for one and all, today iis a good day xxxxxx

babycow did you say vodka and chicken?
I've heard of vodka and coke before.....

Evening, tis me, Mouse

I've not read back, I'm sorry but I have seen a few new names on the Bus which is lovely, welcome new posters. :)

I'm not having the best time of it just now. Drinking more than I used to or should do or care to if I'm being honest and this is what the Bus is all about.

The loss of my Mum and my unofficial Goddaughter is really hitting home. Nemo said to me last night - *Pippa (goddaughter) has been dead for long enough now Mummy, can she come home now? Please? Can you go and find her for me?" It was all I could do not to weep and scoop him up into my arms. He is so strong and caring..... he loves her so much because even though she was younger than him, they had a similar behavioral pattern.

They loved playing together. It's just so sad that she was taken at 3.5 yrs old

He also cries about my Mum because he knows how much I loved her, even though our relationship was one with difficult times and decisions. He misses her too and his Birthday was so odd, no grandma or grandad there like normal

Why is this life so hard at times? What is it that we've done to make the wheel of life turn day after day and make them so hard!

I'm sorry not to check back but I couldn't remember what everyone has said.

I suppose I'm going be curling up on the back seat of the Bus if that's okay? Can someone save me a bit of cheese and just let me sleep under this blanket of straw?

Thank you lovely Brave Babes :) xxx

Oh mouse I have no words that can make anything any better, bad things happen to good people, it makes no sense!!!! I'm so sorry for your pain, you are much loved on this thread, your such a lovely person, I have no answers only hugs xxxx

Big Hugs mouse

God it's good to wake up on a Saturday without a hangover. I can actually do stuff today.

I'm also sleeping like a baby. Bloody brilliant. Now I just need to get through Saturday afternoon.

xx

Hugs Mouse be kind to yourself like you would if it was one of us

Beautiful day here but I'm stuck doing housework. It's ok I suppose, no hangover to contend so it's easy enough to get on with. It used to be such a chore as I was always tired and lethargic, now I get much more done although it's annoying as it means H gets away with doing even less! I never 'win', I could not do it but I'd crack before he would.

I had half a bottle of my low alcohol/cal wine, about two units. Probably not the nicest but then do I really drink wine for the taste??? And it's definitely nicer to wake up saturday feeling rested and hangover free :) I think I've got my head around drinking/work issues - that work won't be better if I'm below par so the best thing I can do for myself is at least feel well, not drink the night before. Now I'm thinking do I really want my time off spoilt with a hangover or just feeling a bit off? I don't want to give up drinking completely but I no longer want a whole day to be spoilt for the sake of a few hours drinking....

Why does the only part of the uk not to be basking in sunshine have to be fricking Scotland!!! Again!

Morning babes

Monday morning here and about Day 10 I think for me. Feeling absolutely great. I wish I had the strength to never drink again. Everything is better for me without alcohol.

Heading to work and will be back.
xx

Morning all

Had a fab weekend lazing about in the sunshine - sorry ma

Anne I usually have low alcohol wine if I'm drinking and it doesn't trigger the urge to drink more. I can drink a glass and forget about it. That never happened with full fat wine.

Everything is better for me without alcohol Soc I like that, so simple and so true

Morning babes, overindulged a bit last night on the red wine so felt like shit when I woke this morning, add in the fact that it's Monday morning and the start of a new working week ...

Full fat wine - I like that faire. I think if I think of the calories, and the calories consumed mopping up the alcohol, I'll be less tempted. I stuck to the low cal wine, and had about 9 units over the week. If I could drink likethat all time I would be happy.

Well done on day 10 soc

Sorry for the long absence. Mumsnet password reset thingy threw me for a loop and they 'werent accepting new members' for a while.

Great to see new ladies on the bus.

9 months sober. Still no DS. Marriage on the rocks. Im in the 'punative' phase (which is illegal - but thats another story).

Day 1. Hi to everyone, old and new.

I was a bus member for quite a while a few months back but just couldn't find the strength to stay off the wine and found it hard to keep writing that I was in the sidecar (even though that is helpful for others). Had good swathes of AF time. Best was 7 weeks - hard to believe now - but there was also 3, 4 and 2 week breaks, too. Anyway, I suppose I knew it would have to come to this point. Having had two severe allergic reactions to something unknown, the Dr ordered blood tests. I knew the chances were high that it wouldn't just be any allergies the tests would uncover - and I went anyway. Upshot is, the liver is showing slightly abnormal results, my red blood cells are enlarged and my serum gamma GT (an enzyme produced by the liver) levels are abnormal also. So, there it is. I can no longer pretend to myself that I'm 'getting away' with all this alcohol consumption, that I have a 'high tolerance' or any of the other crap I would tell myself in order to say 'fuck it' and reach for yet another glass.

Not going to write too much today as I'm not really sure how I feel about it all. Strangely though, I do feel a sense of relief. It's done, the cat is out of the bag and now I have to cope with whatever comes after. I got the results over the phone yesterday and the woman made an appointment with the same Dr for me but the earliest it could be was June 5th. That was too far away. I phoned back this morning and I'm now going back tomorrow morning. The Dr who is dealing with this is not sympathetic - but that will be good for me. She's practical and says it how it is. She won't pull her punches. She's written that I need more tests. Liver scan? I don't know. I'll let you know tomorrow. All I'm hoping is that it's not too late.

Thanks for listening. I don't think I'll ever be able to tell anyone in RL (bar medical staff) about this.

Very un-MN hugs to those who are struggling today.

I will not be drinking today.

Hey purple Sorry about the bad medical news, but it seems you are taking a firm active stance on it. I will be crossing my fingers for you tomorrow. And like you, I will not be drinking today.

Hello Babes!

Well, I didn't make it through the weekend, surprise, surprise - my lovely DH actually came in to me on Friday night as I was doing some work on my laptop, with a large glass of red wine - oops! Managed to only have 2 glasses on Friday and felt fine on Saturday, had a really good weekend doing stuff with the family, but ended up with a bit of a hangover on Sunday and a worse one on Monday. So Day 2 again for me.

Purple sorry about the medical news - I'm pretty sure mine would be similar (if not worse), hence why I've been putting off the "free checkup" that the NHS has been inviting me to... Please update us - maybe it will give more of us the inspiration we need to face reality!

Purple - so sorry, I hope everything turns out ok.

Long absence for me, same as someone above, the mess up threw me, then I joined again and was too scared to post.

Obviously Im in a bit of a state. Im so down at the moment re: work issues, Im so miserable around the kids, Im miserable when I drink, Im miserable when I dont, I cant just have a couple when I do, I just cant see an end to this cycle.
Ive been invited to a bbq at family members house tonight. I dont have to drive as dont have the car at the moment so I know I will drink and all day I have just been battling in my head about it. I will drink so no point in saying I wont but when will I just learn not to. And if I go, and drink, Ill have to pick a bottle up on the way home for a night cap. Im SICK of this cycle I just cant get my head away from it.

This weekend I have no car and am meeting work people in a bar on Fri night. I reckon I can do that with no booze. But afterwards meeting friend in a country boozer - cant see that being sober.
Sat some friends are back from holiday, they cant wait to meet up for a drink and catch up.
Sun Im at a beer festival.
FFS.

And why....still no Ds after everything? Wtf is going on?

Morning babes, how is everyone this morning?