WWYD open condom wrapper

[EverySoddingNameIsTaken]

Name changed for this.

Bought DP a new wallet for Xmas. His old
One has been on the fireplace since then. I was looking in it today for a receipt for a printer we bought which is now faulty. Inbetween hundreds of receipts I come across an open condom wrapper, no condom to be found.
DP has been unfaithful before. When we were younger. I forgave him and recently, I believe(d) he had grown up and realised the value of his family.

I obviously want to confront him but DP is very good at excuses, turning around or considering this wallet hasn't been used for four months I'm
Wondering if he'll just opt for 'haven't used that wallet in ages, I sincerely have no idea, god knows, but I swear to you I haven't done anything."

I can see this playing out. I can see me being made to be overreacting. Our relationship isn't great at the moment, I am pregnant and very tired our sex life has somewhat suffered due to this, he has made passing comments on lack
Of affection etc recently and I am very touchy if I am honest.

I am concerned for what answer I will get, I want the truth but would I get that? And If he opts out of telling the truth then what do I do? End my family? Go it all alone with no facts !?

FFS why did the fucking printer break

[Wantsunshine]

Sorry, there is just no plausible explanation for the condom wrapper to be in his wallet except he cheated.
I don't think its odd to have the wrapper in there and not throw it away either. My DH I have noticed sometimes has one in his wallet and rips the top and takes out the condom and the wrapper doesn't really leave the wallet! Probably too lazy to locate the bin in hotels.
So rubbish you are going through this

[Calicocatlady]

I recall my friend making a similar discovery. She confronted her husband and he told her he'd been having 'posh wanks' (?). Basically master-bating with a condom on. I hope your situation turns out to be innocent, OP

[LoisPuddingLane]

I don't get this posh wank lark. Every man ever, in the history of sex, says "I don't like condoms, you can't feel anything". So why would they want one on when having a wank?

[TheOrchardKeeper]

It just catches the end product doesn't it?

Though I agree. Also think he probably ripped the packet and took the condom out without taking the whole packet out. Probably then forgot about it etc.

[Twinklestein]

To collect the jizz Lois, and also to replicate the sensation of tightness.

[msdiamant]

I can imagine this situation. A man takes his wallet, takes the condom out, puts it on. After sex he goes to the loo and flushes it down. I have heard some men do it. Then returns to dress up. Puts the wrapper back into the wallet to dispose off late and forgets about it.

[EverySoddingNameIsTaken]

I haven't been able to get to the office DS has been a nightmare tonight. I wanted to leave it until I could have gone to the office first but it was just right there at the front of my thoughts so I told him. And I know him so well because I got the reaction I expected. "I honestly have no idea, why would I use a condom and put it back in my wallet, how many years have I had that wallet, it could have been in a receipt, I've never noticed it before, I have no memory."

He wasn't defensive to be fair.

I said you must have some recollection he said he wish he had a logical reason he could give me because he realises how ridiculous it sounds to say I don't know but I honestly don't.

I said how would you feel if you found one in my purse and my response was 'I don't know' he said yes he understands but he really cannot remember as he's had it so long and that he would be a lot more livid than I am if it was the other way round.

I said surely if it was from that many years ago then he would have noticed it since and thought oh shit maybe I should remove that incase I saw it and thought it was recent. He said yes he would have removed it if it was from years ago and he has saw it but that it must have been hidden in the receipts and he never came across it.
My eyes welled up with frustration he gave me a kiss and a cuddle and told me he loved me.



Sigh. I just don't know what I can do.

[MissSmiley]

I was going to say posh wank. Hope I'm right.
Good luck OP.

[LoisPuddingLane]

to replicate the sensation of tightness

That doesn't make sense. Condoms don't replicate a sensation of tightness. If they did, men would be FALLING OVER themselves to put one on for sex. We all know how they love the tightness. And hate the condoms.

I have never, in all my many many years, met a man who likes having a condom on. They all say it dulls the sensation. So to put one on for a wank would be pointless.

[mammadiggingdeep]

He said he knows it sounds ridiculous. That's because he's right. How long have you been with him? How old would the wrapper have to be to be legitimate?!

[MissSmiley]

Sorry cross post. Sounds like he just had a lucky escape. I'd forget about it for now. You don't have any other evidence?

[LoisPuddingLane]

Every, he's bullshitting, I'm sorry to say. Caught red-handed and bullshitting.

[EverySoddingNameIsTaken]

Well, we've been together 7 years but he cheated about 3 years ago? So three years

[QuiteSo]

Before I knew my husband was having an affair, I found a pair of knickers that weren't mine. Confronted him. Pointed out there was really only one explanation. He swore blind he had no idea where they could have come from. Like a fool, I accepted that and made up all kinds of reasons (he could have been at the gym and kit got mixed up etc etc).
Turns out I'd been right all along: the knickers were there because he'd been shagging another woman.
The most obvious explanation is usually the right one.

[Cabrinha]

He's a little stonewalling shit, isn't he? My ex was the same. Not at all defensive. Soooooo understanding about things looking bad and he'd feel the same.
Little shit is so comfortable and confident he wasn't even worried.
A little hug and an "I love you" - job done.
He's lying of course, but you know that.
Keep your wits about you, you poor thing, as it seems you're going to accept his non-explanation.

[mammadiggingdeep]

Who has acondom wrapper in their wallet for 3 years?? After an affair at that??? Seriously- that's bullshit.

I also had evidence in my hand. My ex lied to the point it was laughable.

He also said. "I know it ridiculous". When they say that, it's because it is ridiculous.

I'm sorry op. are u ok? What are you thinking?

[mammadiggingdeep]

Oh yes! I also had "I'd be the sane if it was the other way around" comment.

[herethereandeverywhere]

Has anyone suggested looking at the expiry date on the wrapper yet? Only that if it really was ages ago it's unikely to be still in date/much in date?

[EverySoddingNameIsTaken]

I'm feeling lost and upset. I know other posters have said I don't need definitive proof but I feel I do to justify breaking up my family. I don't mean I need to know he had sex but any suggestive text messages in conjunction with the condom would be more than enough for me to leave. I am scared about being alone for the first time and having a baby on my own but I'd have to be strong I just feel very silly at the moment and in a bit of a limbo.

[mammadiggingdeep]

Op looked and there wasn't a date..

[EverySoddingNameIsTaken]

There's no expiry date here

[mammadiggingdeep]

Feeling scared is understandable but don't think too far ahead.

Deal with today first. You've got to try not to stress out as it won't be good for you or baby.

Why don't you have an early night, run a bath and get to bed and sleep on it.

Tomorrow is another day- maybe try to get the phone.

I totally understand- I listened to the denials and lies for a long time, I knew they were lies but I kept waiting and waiting for either more proof (even though it was indesputible) or for it to somehow magic itself all away.

[SnotandBothered]

Oh OP. I feel really sorry that you are in this situation.

Because the ONLY acceptable response would have been an immediate, instant, innocent and articulate explanation - however unlikely - that your gut told you was the truth.

Saying 'I can't remember' under these circumstances is akin to a guilty person being interviewed by the police about a crime that they clearly do remember and, in the absence of having any defence, resorting to "I don't remember'.

Possible. But highly highly unlikely.

Big hugs to you. Please ask him again.