DH put £5,000 into my ISA, I didn't know we had £5k in savings!

[Justeat]

Title says it all, dh told me last nite, it's locked away for 5 years,
I asked him if we could've used it to reduce mortgage payments.
Dh didn't discuss this with me at all.
Other issues going on as well.
After last nite, I want to hand him separation papers, in an effort to get him to counselling with me to discuss financial and other matters, or we separate.
2 dcs, one baby and one under 8.

Dd wanted 2 talk 2 him, so I thought it wuld b a good idea 2 leave a message.
I agree, not the best idea 2 take her to relatives, I thought it would make her feel better 2 look 4 him.
Yes, the early days of realisation.
He has a British passport.

Please keep posting everyone, I need to know I'm not alone in my experience.

I agree.
Leaving the message was ok, but no child should have to go looking for her parent.
They should know they are worth much more than that and deserve attention by the parent.

You'll need to reassure her that you will never leave her. That good parents don't take off like that.

Am waiting for him or his solicitor to get in touch with me.
I've spoken to a solicitor who advised to wait to see what he does next.
Will wait till maybe Friday, if he hasn't been in touch I will ask solicitor what I should do next.
I don't know if I want to separate or not.

I will not go back to living with him as we did b4 he walked out.
He has to change his attitude.

Change his attitude? Very unlikely I'm afraid
You'd be better changing the locks if the house is in your name.

Do any of his actions or words, or lack of action or words, so far give you even the slightest hope that he's about the change his attitude.

You almost sound deluded.

I'm not deluded, I know this mayb the end of our marriage.
I'm not emotionally ready to instruct a solicitor to start separation proceedings, I don't know where to send the papers either!
Solicitor said no need to rush into legal papers.
House and mortgage in his name.

I can't be thrown out of our home by him cos children under 18 live here.
Anyway, I would call 999.

I certainly don't blame you for not wanting to rush in to a legal separation, it's a lot to take on board. However, that's not the same as waiting for him to get in touch or change his attitude and get back with you.

Who suggested you might be thrown out of the house??

Some people in RL think I will lose my home.
Sorry to digress, just hearing about Peaches Geldof dying.
Terrible.

Gather as much paperwork - especially financial - as you can find and put it in a safe place where he won't find it, with a relative or friend perhaps.

It's a lot to take on board in one go, but you will get through it, as will your children.

I mostly worry financially about you. If you haven't your own account he might well pull the plug on the joint account.

I have my own account too.