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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DH put £5,000 into my ISA, I didn't know we had £5k in savings!

115 replies

Justeat · 03/04/2014 09:32

Title says it all, dh told me last nite, it's locked away for 5 years,
I asked him if we could've used it to reduce mortgage payments.
Dh didn't discuss this with me at all.
Other issues going on as well.
After last nite, I want to hand him separation papers, in an effort to get him to counselling with me to discuss financial and other matters, or we separate.
2 dcs, one baby and one under 8.

OP posts:
DumbleDee · 03/04/2014 11:15

Dodgy as this???

My ISA last year was with the bank I've banked with for 1o years and I still had to send proof of ID - passport and utility bills AND sign for it.

Ask for a copy of the application details from the bank - this could be the tip of the iceberg fraud wise. You can do an Experien report for a £10 (ish). It may give you a bit more insight on your financial situation. He may have other accounts in your name that you aren't aware of.

DumbleDee · 03/04/2014 11:17

Oh and you can withdraw at any time!! You may have penalty payments attached but as this is your money you can do what you like. I'd be tempted to open another one quick, take the hit and hide it from the shit.

2rebecca · 03/04/2014 11:26

It isn't a gift of 5k though, if you have a mortgage it's just a stupid way of using 5k and decsions on what to do with that large an amount of money should be joint. I'd be angry at being completely ignored as far as major financial decisions go, but then I wouldn't have married a man who would have thought this was an OK thing to do.
I agree that with most fixed term ISAs you can withdraw the money earlier you just lose some of the interest, which as it's only just gone in is irrelevant so you could look at removing it. I would tighten up your password security so he can't get into your accounts and tackle him on what a marriage of equals actually means, and the stupidity of saving large amounts when you have debts.

SpringBreak · 03/04/2014 11:38

why is saving at equiv. 3.6% when you have a mortgage that woudl struggle to be much above 2% "stupidity"?

LadyInDisguise · 03/04/2014 12:34

I am Shock at people saying 'just enjoy the gift' tbh.
This guy had opened an account wo her knowledge and used private/ personnal details. If it had been a random person that would be called identity tefth. This time he has put money on an ISA but what would stop him from taking a loan or a CC at her name and run debts on it??

I would also want to know where the money is coming from because, I don't know about you, but 5k doesn't just appear in my house. It requires time and conscious saving to achieve that.

And the final straw for me would be the total lack if respect if you as an individual. You matter so little to him that opening an account in your name isn't worth talking about, nor what to do with that money other than an ISA, nor actually taking your pov on anything for that matter. I would be livid tbh.

OP I would ask for the account details of the ISA and set up a new login and password. Only fair seeing that it is your account at your name. It roll also prevent him to then decide it's not so frozen after all and take the money out as he wishes.
I can also see from your OP that this is not the only problem you have atm. Councelling might be good. Setting up much better ground rules re money and respect in the relationship would be another. Getting divorced would be another choice as you mention that in your OP. However before doing anything like this I would do a lot of research as to how much money/savings he actually has. He clearly has already put at least 5k away on an ISA this year. How much from the previous years that you have never heard about???

LadyInDisguise · 03/04/2014 12:36

Oh this is NOT a gift.
They are married, the money us shared between them. If they were to get divorced, that money would be spilt into two. And as it is she can't do anything with it anyway. How can that be considered a gift??!!

Original poster
Justeat · 03/04/2014 12:59

I don't do online banking.
I have no idea if he's opened this ISA or not.
Will tackle him 2nite.

OP posts:
Lweji · 03/04/2014 13:31

Without documents, it actually sounds more like he is saying he has put this money in your to shut you up.

BTW, register for online banking, so that you know what is going on.

BeforeAndAfter · 03/04/2014 13:52

Has he handed you any papers to sign? Do you just sign stuff on his say so because 'he knows what he's doing'?

LadyInDisguise · 03/04/2014 13:54

Just you need to ask for all the details re this ISA. Ask for the paperwork, account number, bank etc...
Ask him how and when he opened it.

I'm starting to wonder if he actually has opened an account at all...,

And YY to do a credit check and learn how to do banking online.

Artandco · 03/04/2014 14:08

I just open up isas at bank, never needed a credit check/ info.

littlewhitebag · 03/04/2014 16:12

My DH puts money in an ISA for me every year. What is the problem with that? It is a tax efficient way to save. I didn't sign anything for the most recent one although someone from the ISA company had to ring me and give me a spiel. The money is in my name but it is our joint money. He takes out one for himself at the same time. I am completely uninterested in finances and am glad that he takes care of this. There must be a lot more to this that OP hasn't mentioned.

Viviennemary · 03/04/2014 16:18

I think that is a bit cheeky. It's nice to get it but he should have told you what he was doing. Unless it was his idea of a lovely surprise. I don't understand why people tolerate this type of financially secrecy where one partner has no idea about the others finances. The only time I think I'd probably understand it was if one person was a compuslive spendaholic or gambler.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 03/04/2014 16:21

although someone from the ISA company had to ring me and give me a spiel

This is the issue. ISA provider is required to check that you are eligible, either by sending the account holder some TS and Cs to sign, or by going through them on the phone and getting you to confirm/deny various statements.

Bogeyface · 03/04/2014 16:26

This is bent.

He has at least 1 other ISA in his name (and possibly more as you can have stocks and shares ISA on top of a cash one). If you didnt open the ISA then he did, which is fraud.

I agree that you need to find out what the hell is going on, start with the bank your ISA is held at, you may find that you have more savings accounts than you realise as he may be using you to make the most of tax allowances. Then get your credit report.

Then get to a solicitors for a divorce.

I do not understand why you keep giving this dickhead another chance, how much more of his BS are you going to take before you say "ENOUGH!"?

RedFocus · 03/04/2014 17:15

I have a savings account that my dh doesn't know about, I don't think he does anyway, well he's never mentioned it. I have a separate billing account and attached to that I have a savings account, all the money left over from the bills go into it. Don't know what I am saving for I've just always done it even when I was single.

RedFocus · 03/04/2014 17:15

I have a savings account that my dh doesn't know about, I don't think he does anyway, well he's never mentioned it. I have a separate billing account and attached to that I have a savings account, all the money left over from the bills go into it. Don't know what I am saving for I've just always done it even when I was single.

Bogeyface · 03/04/2014 18:03

So why not tell him red?

I understand that everyone (man and woman) should have a savings account in their own name if they can afford it. But unless you are saving to escape an abusive situation, I cant see why the secrecy.

In the OPs position, she is being financially abused AND it seems is being made to keep the very money she is not allowed to touch, in her name!!

2rebecca · 03/04/2014 18:03

Yes it's a tax efficient way to save but if you have a mortgage you'd still be better off putting the money towards your mortgage.
I'm amazed so many women don't want to bother their pretty little heads over stuff like financial discussions and don't expect to have an equal say in decisions like what to do with 5k.

Original poster
Justeat · 03/04/2014 18:19

He says it's been transferred into our joint account.
Divorcing isn't emotionally easy for our dc's.
I am gathering info.

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 03/04/2014 18:33

Just

Divorce is never easy, but living with an abusive man is worse believe me. You say you are gathering info but you cant without knowing what to look for can you?

How do you know it is in your joint account when you dont have access to it?! Get yourself down to the bank tomorrow, order yourself a new card for it and get as many statements as you can.

A joint account is not an ISA, sounds like he is changing his story...which is it?

Logg1e · 03/04/2014 20:01

OP you keep starting threads about the state of your relationship. Fine, but are you getting the professional advice you have repeatedly been advised to get?

Logg1e · 03/04/2014 20:07

SpringBreak are you genuinely not clear on the decision making to do with savings vs mortgage repayment?

Cabrinha · 03/04/2014 20:27

What's in your joint account?
Why didn't you notice? Don't you access to the joint account?

You can definitely open an ISA online with just an NI number - I did it last week. Takes 2 minutes. And you can withdraw it just as fast - so don't believe any crap that makes it sound like it's protected for you.

There are plenty of "no withdrawal" ISAs - but what that means is you can't make partial withdrawals. You can withdraw the lot but only if you close the ISA and pay a number of day's interest (often as high as 240 for a 5 year fixed) penalty.

  • he may be lying
  • he may me using your tax free allowance with no intention of you having the money
  • whichever it is, he shouldn't have £5K that you don't know about OR be making your investment decisions
RRRJ83 · 03/04/2014 20:45

You're actually going to divorce a guy for putting £5k in an Is a? Really? Is this actually happening?