DH and I have been married 11 years, together 16, 2 dc. We have had a tough couple of years. I had PND and he coped by more or less opting out of the marriage.
Bit by bit I improved and really tried hard to get things back on track an I thought we were getting somewhere.
Out of the blue today a letter came from electricity company about connecting another property. It was addressed to him but as the electricity is in his name I often open these sort of letters with no problem.
I think he has rented a place and is moving out. He has never given any reason for me to think this was coming.
I looked through some things in his office - it also seems he had a vasectomy over a year ago without telling me.
I am home with ill dc today, he is at work. My head is spinning, I feel weak. I rang him (self employed he could come home) but no reply.
What do I do?
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My life just fell apart.
wishitwasapril1st · 02/04/2014 13:13
So glad to hear you have been able to clear the air. Good luck for the future 
Oh God, reading your OP literally threw me back 8 years - to the day I opened a letter from an esate agent, addressed to my DH (I always opened all the mail). It was a rental contract for a new appartment in his name, the lease beginnkng 14 days later. This was how I found out he was moving out.
I threw up everywhere (luckily the kids were with friends) and had to wait for him to come home.
When confronted, he explained he needed some time on his own after the rough year we had had (severe illness), that he was not sure who he was anymore and very not sure who "we" were anymore. He wanted to woo me all over again and start our marriage afresh. His words, not mine. He asked me to give him a year.
I very reluctantly agreed. Did not see what choice I really had if I wanted to salvage our family.
During this year he came to the house at weekends, we took the DC on holiday and he and I were still at it like rabbits....towards the end of the year I was tentatively feeling hopeful!!
Then, whilst we were lying curled up together talking on our sofa one day I made an innocent remark about how nice it would be to do tgis and that with the DC the following year.
He sat up and bluntly, smiling even, told me that surely by now I would have realised there was someone else in his life?? Well ermmm....no?!?! He even made me guess who it was. Yup, the secretary.
He left that day forgood and left me in an even bigger mess than I jad been the year before. Despite having found out about numerous affairs, I had stupidly and doggedly "worked trough" those and held on to a marriage that was worthless due to him emotionally bailing out a lobg time before he left.
I so very much hope tgis is notthe case for you OP. I sincerely hope you and your DH can work through thibgs together. I just felt I wanted to give you my story to hopefull make you be on your guard a bit as well. Hope that makes sense 
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