My life just fell apart.

[wishitwasapril1st]

DH and I have been married 11 years, together 16, 2 dc. We have had a tough couple of years. I had PND and he coped by more or less opting out of the marriage.

Bit by bit I improved and really tried hard to get things back on track an I thought we were getting somewhere.

Out of the blue today a letter came from electricity company about connecting another property. It was addressed to him but as the electricity is in his name I often open these sort of letters with no problem.

I think he has rented a place and is moving out. He has never given any reason for me to think this was coming.

I looked through some things in his office - it also seems he had a vasectomy over a year ago without telling me.

I am home with ill dc today, he is at work. My head is spinning, I feel weak. I rang him (self employed he could come home) but no reply.

What do I do?

[Kikibee]

Oh you poor thing, hopefully he can give you a reasonable explanation for it (((hugs))) v un mumsnetty but I feel you need them

[curiousgeorgie]

Hope you're okay OP.

The vasectomy aside, I hope there's an innocent explanation

[santaandthearmadillo]

thinking of you OP x

[LeBearPolar]

Hope you're okay - and as curiousgeorgie says, that there's an innocent explanation.

[AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore]

Hope you're okay, OP. I could possibly see some innocent explanation for the other property (although it stretches the imagination to the limit to come up with ideas for it), but not for the vasectomy. That's a huge issue.

[AnyFucker]

It's less likely to be innocent when he has already done a disappearing act. He knows the game is up.

[TeenageMutantNinjaTurtle]

Thinking of you OP. Hope there is a rational explanation...

[Onesieone]

Oh dear OP. I am so sorry u found out about these things when u were alone. And u have had to wait for ages to get any clarification. Try to stay calm and keep an open mind until u get some sort of clarification. Thinking of u and hoping u r ok xxx

[aylesburyduck]

hope you are ok OP and I hope you get some answers x

[Timeforabiscuit]

wishing you strength, I hope you get answers soon

[wishitwasapril1st]

He is home now. Putting kids to bed.

Can't face the thoughts of what's to come.

[aylesburyduck]

Hand to hold a plenty of ears to listen to you here later. The main thing is concentrate on what his nibs tells you. Listen lots, speak little.

[verytellytubby]

Wishing you lots of strength.

[ListWriter]

Handholding!

[lovemenot]

Handholding too x

[mameulah]

Whatever happens or is said you are one step closer to being on the other side.

If he wants out then as hard as it may be I would let him go.

I read something about men being like elastic bands and if you just let them go they will come back. And if you don't let them go then you just make them pull and strain even stronger.

You are going to be fine. Most definitely with a big and loving family to help you through whatever it is that is happening.

Good luck.

[LEMmingaround]

Bless you. I really hope its all a misunderstanding but it doesn't look great with the disappearance

[cozietoesie]

Whatever happens, wish, it won't be worse than things you might have been imagining. More immediate, of course - and your family and friends will help you if there's anything to deal with.

There will be people here round the clock as well if you need to talk or yell.

[phoebeflangey]

Handholding Op, good luck

[statementtotheedge]

I hope you are ok OP

[WednesdayNext]

Hope you are Ok

[Blueandwhitelover]

thinking of you

[Doshusallie]

Hope you are ok op. X

[FreeLikeABird]

Hope you are ok op x

[FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse]

Hoping for a work-related explanation, and for the vasectomy to have been him looking into it and not going through with it.