Stressed out, tired, fed up

[IHaveAFifthSense]

DP and I have both been very stressed with work recently. Generally we try to support each other but it's piling up and I feel like I'm at breaking point. We're both grumpy and snappy and it's having a really bad effect on DD. Every time I hear him snap at her, I get annoyed at him and we bicker. Every time I snap at DD, he does the same to me. It's like we can both see each other fucking up but can't stop ourselves from doing it.

On a normal day, DP is a lovely man. But when he's tired and moody (which is most days recently), he's an absolute wanker. As am I. I feel terrible about the impact this is having on DD but don't know how to stop it.

Any advice would be much appreciated!

Hand holding!

DH and I have been in the same pattern for the last year... We are now 'taking a break' and living apart because of the effect it was having on DC's. Still obviously effects them now anyway! We are hoping to eventually reunite....

I really feel for you OP and wish you luck in working through this... Wish I had some helpful advise to give you!

how old is your dd?
first thing that springs to mind is practical steps to both get sleep, get a cleaner, things like that. tiredness is really hard

Well firstly you both need to wise up and stop taking your stress out on a child. Stop snapping at her, just stop.

After that you need to sit down and talk calmly about what's going on with both of you and work out ways to improve things for all of you.

Maybe just take a look at your DD when you're more calm and appreciate how wonderful she is and how much you would hate to upset her. Recently I've been doing this and feel so lucky to have my DDs and I don't snap at them anywhere as much as I used to. But also get to the bottom of why you are so stressed and get it sorted for all your sakes before it's too late.

Thank you for your advice and support. DD is 5, getting a cleaner isn't really an option as we're financially stretched as it is. Would be lovely though!

Cailin I think it goes without saying that we don't intentionally snap. Doesn't everyone snap when they're exhausted and stressed? I'm aware that it's horrible, that's why I asked for advice. If wising up would solve the problem it would have gone a long time ago.

I do that Joolsy, thank you.