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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Bemused it is me

48 replies

Bemusednow · 27/03/2014 12:20

I have name changed as am a little embarrassed. Basically met a man last night we had been exchanging messages for a while. So has a lovely evening he made me laugh, came out with the old classics like he feels a connection, finds me incredibly attractive, blah bah. Any how we ended up having sex, it was not that great but he seemed to have a good time and I did too was ok, he had to go home as early start with work. Anyway this morning expected to have text arranging to meet again but instead start getting some weird messages first one being "rubbish in bed arn't I," I reply nicely, then very terse text, know he is driving as I suggest he contact later, then I get "no point I don't do anything for you but never had complaints before" I ask if he is serious? deadly came the reply. Then got "not into one night stands think my ego dented" anyway last one was " I made him feel worthless in " For myself I feel cheap and very bemused. We are in out 40's, never experienced anything like this before. He seems totally happy when he left I think he is a bit mental, some MN thoughts please am feeling really upset now

OP posts:

cafecito · 27/03/2014 14:16

I'd say exactly what Billy said, and leave it there. NO more texting, no replies, no calls, no seeing him.

RedRoom · 27/03/2014 14:25

Adamant he made them all come, eh? That claim alone is highly dubious. I find it hard to believe that with him, all women come pretty much every time, even the first time with him. Does he really think it's that guaranteed? You can see now why they probably faked it: him constantly badgering, asking 'have you come? Are you going to?' Given that it's normal for women not to come every time , probably more so with new partners because we women can be quite psychological with these things, I'd say that he is 1) insecure 2) deluded and 3) not quite the studly love God that he thinks he is.

Original poster

Bemusednow · 27/03/2014 14:31

cate absolutely not intention of engaging.
red the man is clearly deluded, he contradicts himself. May explain why he has been single for so long.

OP posts:

FabBakerGirl · 27/03/2014 14:39

He is a prick. First shag and already trying to control you, intimidate and make you feel grateful to have him.

delete
delete
delete

Original poster

Bemusednow · 27/03/2014 14:41

fab oh he is well and truly binned. He has been my first horrible experience since dating but I have learnt a lesson

OP posts:

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 27/03/2014 14:44

Take out the relationship bit even. Imagine you met a new friend for coffee, the next day they started sending you abusive texts?!

Block him, delete his number and do not contact him again. He is utterly out of order and is acting quite scarily. A person to AVOID.

Original poster

Bemusednow · 27/03/2014 14:59

Bruno I agree, have just taken a call from him, said he wanted to explain. Nothing he said would change my mind about him now but was a bit curious. Basically he said he feels a failure as did not satisfy me ( his words) he believed he has failed. I said it was a weird idea, he then became aggresive saying I was calling him weird. Oh my what a nut job. Thank goodness he lives a long way from me

OP posts:

Nomama · 27/03/2014 17:10

Chalk him up (invisible chalk) and remember that you are entitled to have loads of sex with as many men as you want.

You just don't get to keep them all - especially not the ones with little dicks and big egos. You always throw the tiddlers back

More seriously: Oops! Never mind. Delete and ignore!

Grade yourself like this: 'Could do better'.

colincaterpillar · 27/03/2014 17:21

He sounds like my ex. Awful! Glad you're not embroiled in that one. Chalk it it down to experience and be glad you're out.

TheVictorian · 27/03/2014 17:29

Op Did you give him any suggestions/signs that he was not that good in bed ? as his texts seem rather odd.

Hedgehead · 27/03/2014 17:55

He sounds really insecure...

FabBakerGirl · 28/03/2014 11:34

No, he isn't insecure . He is a controlling twat who is trying to see how far he can push and control the OP.

Nomama · 28/03/2014 11:37

Makes you wonder how he expects it work, though.

I shagged you once, badly. Now I want to make you feel guilty enough to do it again for the rest of your life!

Doesn't really stand much chance, does he?

Meerka · 28/03/2014 11:53

wow, thank heavens he lives far away.

He just blew his own foot off didnt he? and bullshit he made every woman come. I shoudl think they faked it to just get it over with. If he isnt just lying in the first place.

nothingtosee · 28/03/2014 12:36

You said yourself that sex wasn't great. Maybe you gave, subconciously, that impression and he was being polite in your presence.

Then I read that you hadn't had an orgasm. There is a simple rule here;
'Women Always Cum First'

So, he didn't do it for you, even though you said "I did too, it was ok"

There is no need for him to be nasty, if you like him then I'm sure this is something you can both work on. You are new lovers and it can take some time to tune into eachother bodies.

TalisaMaegyr · 28/03/2014 14:08

Why would she want to work on it nothing? The bloke is clearly a knob

BuzzardBird · 28/03/2014 14:18

Dating should be fun.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 28/03/2014 14:45

He is a twat. I would like to see the evidence that he made every woman come every time.

newbieman1978 · 28/03/2014 15:03

What a dick....and yes he was a sex failure! If he didn't try hard enough to give you enjoyment that's a failure as far as I'm concerned. Does not coming equal faliure per se ?, you ladies will have to answer that

Trying to say it's your fault, WTF. He's either had his ego dented because all the other women he's been with have faked it or he's feeling guilty because he didn't try hard enough to satisfy you.

Either way fuck him off.

Any bloke that says they have made every woman they have ever had sex with orgasm on ever occasion is either a liar or deluded. Saying that I don't think even a women could make that claim!

JohnFarleysRuskin · 28/03/2014 15:57

It's not a sex failure to not 'make a woman come' on a first date.

It is a human failure to go all pathetic and defensive and aggressive about it.

Hope you are ok op.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 28/03/2014 15:57

It's not a sex failure to not 'make a woman come' on a first date.

It is a human failure to go all pathetic and defensive and aggressive about it.

Hope you are ok op.

JohnFarleysRuskin · 28/03/2014 15:58

Oop!

CharlieSierra · 28/03/2014 16:06

If he made you cry then fuck him

She did - but not again!

Seriously OP, he is a twat, move on and don't give him another thought.

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